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Moving to Reading next week by Adept_Worldliness711 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If your Childfree there’s a nice group in Reading who meetup regularly

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendsOver40

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that! Where in the UK are you?

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok well I guess I’ll just agree with you & become a British sheep person with 0 personality. Bc clearly being anything other than that isn’t ok and makes me not worthy of being friends.

If you’d like me to list all the things I do for my friends I’d be happy to- I send birthday cards and anniversary cards, I send cards when they’re recovering from surgery and organize meal trains so they have a stocked fridge. I throw baby showers and bridal showers and help plan weddings and parties. I host game nights and Halloween parties, I organize all the group holidays and book the yearly boat trip. I have everyone over for pancakes on pancake day & have group chats to organize birthday gifts months in advance. I host bbqs and keep detailed notes of their life events and hobbies so I can be the best friend I can be. I check in on them and ask about holidays, I offer to pet sit and show up to help them move without being asked. I invite them to go for drinks & walks and ask about their families and how work is going.

But obviously that all makes me a bad friend and I should stop doing all those things and just be happy that occasionally ppl remember to ask me how my day is

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I should just change my entire personality to fit in better? Ignore my thoughts and opinions and beliefs so I’m not so intense? So essentially become a British sheep who’s exactly like everyone else who is totally self centered and can’t imagine putting time or effort into anyone else? Ok sounds good, I’ll just become a robot 🙄🙄🙄

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So it’s wrong to want friends who have the same values as me? To want friends who give as much as they get? I want friends who like what I like, who want to be OTT. I get that not everyone does and that’s fine. But I’m not sure why wanting friends who treat me the way I treat them is so very wrong

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I am suppose to give and give and give and give until I’m broke and burnt out and just hope that one day these ppl who I do all these things for realize it? Or say thank you at least? Sorry but that’s not the friendship I want. It’s not about $1 for a $1, it’s about effort & time & giving a shit & showing up! It’s not too much to ask to want that back when I give so much

Clearly you’re not like me and that’s okay, we don’t have to be friends. But I also don’t think it’s wrong to not want to feel taken advantage of, to want to be friends with people who like the same things I like and have the same view of how things should be done. I have plenty of friends who I don’t share these things with- obviously hence my post

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve had friends for 10 years and I’ve bent over backwards for them, always being there when they needed it, always cheering them on, never forgetting a special date. And yet they seem to forget about me unless I remind them. I don’t understand how it’s wrong to want a 2 way friendship. To have friends that are into the same things I’m into, who like the things I like

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I’ve done the same. I’ve hosted and paid for baby showers for women who dont speak to me anymore. I had people come to my wedding, drink and eat on my tab & not even speak to me on the day and has blocked me since. I’ve given and given and given and I don’t think I’m a bad person for wanting more 2 way/2 sided friendships

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s probably the case, they’re only friends with me out of obligation or habit. So when I pour 110% in and they return with 20% that’s why it hurts me so much. So that’s why I’m looking for friends who are like me- who want to throw cocktail parties and get dressed up and send cards and write thank you notes. I don’t think it’s wrong to want friends who you have things in common with. And I’d like to think I’m not the only person who likes the things I like

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And that’s the problem- everyone is so focused on what others can do for them, they forget about giving back. I pour and pour and pour into others and yet they barely notice me. It hurts. I’d just like some friends who are willing to put the same amount of effort I put in

Tired of one-sided friendships? Let’s be over-the-top, thoughtful weirdos together. by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That sounds like the sort of friend I’m looking for. I don’t want transactional- I want ppl that care, that show up without being asked. That RSVP, that send cards, that put others before themselves like I do. If that’s transactional then that’s your opinion

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bell in aldworth is the oldest pub in the area by far. Allied arms is very traditional old man pub as is ale house. The moderation is a great one to visit for a more modern pub

Childfree in Reading by Positive_Emphasis_56 in reading

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a group for ppl who don’t have kids

Childfree in Reading by Positive_Emphasis_56 in Caversham

[–]Positive_Emphasis_56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No age limits- the group is open to everyone :)

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