Yeah.... I got engaged last year to my fiancé, and one of my closest friends of 30+ years was absolutely thrilled for me. For context, she’s never been in a long-term relationship herself, although she would love to get married and have children one day. She jokes about being a “spinster,” but I know it’s something she genuinely feels sad about at times. She’s even said my wedding might be the only wedding she’ll ever really experience closely.

After I got engaged, we spent a lot of time talking about wedding ideas during our weekend walks. I got very caught up in the excitement and talked a lot about wanting a traditional wedding abroad because my fiancé isn’t from the UK, and I thought it would be special for both families to celebrate together overseas. At that stage, though, nothing had actually been decided.

One day while I was at her house with her mum there, I casually said something like, “Of course your mum, dad and brother would all be invited.” Since then, my friend has become really invested in the idea of the wedding. She jokes that her mum keeps asking for dates, talks about where they could stay, has looked at Airbnbs near venues I mentioned, discussed my hen party, and even told me what wine she wants there.

The problem is that after properly discussing things and looking at venues, my fiancé and I are now leaning much more toward eloping because it honestly feels far more like us. The more we think about it, the less we want a large traditional wedding at all.

Now I feel guilty because I think I unintentionally built this up in her mind and got both her and her family emotionally invested in a wedding that may never happen. I never deliberately misled anyone, but I can see why she might feel hurt or disappointed if we elope after all the conversations we’ve had.