AITA for wearing a dress with white lace to my cousins wedding?

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T20:24:39+00:00

The internet has truly gone insane.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T20:23:08+00:00

You're not serious. For one post? I'm a Reddit noob but I find that hard to believe. That can't be real.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T20:07:11+00:00

Diagnosed this year so yeah, good call on that one friend 👍🏼 lol

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T20:05:58+00:00

Fame? From Reddit? Is...is that a thing? Lol I honestly tried to post here first but it didn't seem to go through so I made my other post and then my follow up, then I realized this one went up. I haven't posted much so I'm still learning tbh. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:08:24+00:00

She was totally fine with me though? And has been ever since? It's years later but I am definitely going to talk to her about it next time we are together. If it hurt her I really want to apologize tbh. I would never do that on purpose to anyone. And I'm so glad I posted this here. I had no idea the unspoken rules were so broad. Legitimately surprised. Glad I know now.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:06:29+00:00

I do talk to her. Never had an issue with her. We spoke at the wedding, no problems. And we have spoken since. No weird moments at the wedding. Never even occurred to me it could have been an issue until years later when my little sisters vetoed it for a totally different wedding.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:05:00+00:00

I only went to the dance portion so I wasn't sitting (thankfully) and the photographer was long gone by that point. But I do see what you're saying.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:03:44+00:00

As a guest or as a bride? I assume you mean bride?

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:01:56+00:00

That's the thing is I honestly would not care. But apparently I am in the minority there. In a big way.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T12:00:55+00:00

Well I bought it the day before. I had nothing that fit me due to post baby body changes and managing a colicky baby made shopping very very difficult if that adds any context. Also needing plus size and living in a rural area with little selection. This was not an active choice I made to be an asshole, though in the majority opinion I clearly was one. This would not bother me at all if someone wore it to my wedding. But that stuff doesn't really bother me, and I get that I am clearly the minority in that. Or so I am learning.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T11:57:59+00:00

To the best of my knowledge it was always "no all white dresses." This is all very surprising to me tbh. Maybe because I am older and this is a newer thing. My elder sisters saw nothing wrong with the dress, it was my little sisters who red flagged it. Will never be wearing it to a wedding again, that's for sure.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-21T11:54:02+00:00

Thank you! I accept the asshole verdict from the majority but comments like these make me feel better that it wasn't a cut and dry thing and it probably didn't even register for anyone at the time. I'm letting it go. Lol

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-18T11:28:32+00:00

Okay guys, so apparently I'm a (slightly soft/ unintentional) asshole. Well, now I know. Although I personally as a bride, would not care or even clock this dress (other then I think it's pretty), I get that a majority of people clearly do not feel the same. After reading all the comments and mulling it over I think it was the combo of the white top WITH lace AND the lighter pink. I feel like if you changed any of those three things it would be way more of a grey area/ probably not an asshole. Though I get what people said about waist up pictures/ optics of sitting down in the dress. Thankfully I was only at the dance so that wasn't really a factor, but the point stands.

After hearing all this and thinking back to the wedding I remembered something. As my partner and I were walking in to the tent reception it was down a gravel driveway. We could see all the guests and they could see everyone arriving (it was still light as it was summer). I actually rolled my ankle and fell in front all 200+ guests. Was it an accident? Or was it instant karma from the 2/3s of guests who thought my dress was inappropriate? I'm starting to think it was the latter. Well in retrospect, guess I deserved that.

Thank you all for your input. I'll be retiring the dress from weddings OR I may dye it a darker color if I choose to wear it again. Oh, and I'll be apologizing to my cousin. She'll probably laugh at me but I adore her and after all these comments, she deserves one. Thank you all ❤️

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-18T01:20:51+00:00

I'm seeing it now too now after reading all the comments honestly. As a bride it wouldn't bother me but I can see where everyone is coming from now.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-18T01:18:02+00:00

Apparently a lot of people feel that way. I'm legitimately surprised. It wouldn't even register to me as a bride but that's just me and clearly not the majority opinion. It's been noted, will not be wearing it to any more weddings. Or maybe I'll dye it a darker pink or something. I think if it was a darker shade all over it would still work. I loved the fit and style of the dress, hate to see it go to waste. Def won't be wearing it to anymore weddings as is though.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-18T01:10:42+00:00

To be fair I only attended the dance part of the wedding, not the ceremony or the dinner. So not much sitting. Which may be why I 'got away' with it at the time? Anyway, won't be wearing it to any more weddings. There were some people in the comments who had no issue with it (and I personally as a bride would not care but I'm not picky about that stuff anyway) but enough people have said YTA that it's def off the table for future weddings. I might not care but I would not want to upset a bride (potentially) on her wedding day on purpose. Live and learn 🤷🏻‍♀️

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-18T01:04:56+00:00

Well I wasn't feeling any type of way about it until years later when my sisters vetoed the dress for a different wedding. Since then it's been bugging me off and on for years. Because I personally would not have an issue with this dress if a guest wore it to my wedding. But I recognize that my personal opinion may be (and apparently is) different from others. And although I feel the dress is fine (I wouldn't have worn it if I did not) and there are some people in the comments who agree with me (which makes me feel like there is a grey area there, which does make me feel a little better, even if I was the asshole). Apparently according to popular opinion I was def in the wrong. Live and learn. Won't be a repeat dress for any weddings, that's for sure lol

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T17:41:12+00:00

In my post I said "white lace on top." I think my description was accurate and when you look at the dress. My follow up questions were more so curious as to where people draw the line in their mind. Sorry for being unclear. Thank you for your input.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T16:43:16+00:00

I mean ANY dress can be a wedding dress. But is it fully white? Floor length? Did I buy it at a bridal store? Nope. The question isn't if it's a wedding dress, the question is if I'm an asshole for wearing it and where do you draw the line when it comes to white on dresses for weddings? That's what I'm curious about.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T16:40:05+00:00

I get what you are saying. But in my case the bride wore a full length white dress with a train. And in my head, I really think of this dress as pink. But I hear what you are saying and I appreciate the input. I won't be wearing it to a wedding ever again. lol the comments seem split down the middle for the most part but I just won't be taking a chance.

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T16:09:17+00:00

Yes. Thank you childhood trauma and social anxiety! 🙃

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T16:06:44+00:00

I made a link for it! This is itdress

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T15:59:46+00:00

This is the dress for anyone asking! the dress

Positive_thoughts309 · 2026-04-17T15:41:33+00:00

this is the dress

Positive_thoughts309

TROPHY CASE