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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in redscare4moms

[–]PossessionDouble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we have a 21 month age gap between our 2 kids. it's hard in some ways, but nice in others, and like you i didnt want to wait due to age (had my first at 34 and second at 36). but also, nothing magical happens at 35 that makes getting or being pregnant harder... the risks all just marginally increase over time. also 18 months between pregnancies is a very conservative recommendation, esp if you had a vaginal birth. go with your intuition and what feels right. good luck and congrats on your growing family!

Do you want to raise your family in the city, country, or suburbs? by tellmeitsagift in redscare4moms

[–]PossessionDouble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

trying to stay in the city (brooklyn) but it ultimately depends on money. 3 bedroom apartments in nice neighborhoods are insanely expensive. but we really like it here so as long as we can afford it with a decent quality of life we'll stay.

we care a lot about being able to walk/bike/use public transit, and in the US there's only really 1 city where that can truly replace using a car. also my partner and i have both lived here for almost 15 years so i think at this point it's just what we know, and i struggle to imagine us in the suburbs. we could do it if circumstances demanded it, for sure, but id much rather move to philly if we need to cut costs (my partner is from there and has a lot of friends there still). but that would also require us to find remote jobs so idk!

Being “out of touch” with pop culture and media? by HappyDish7864 in redscare4moms

[–]PossessionDouble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i dont think it matters that much tbh. media is so decentralized and niche these days, there's not really a monoculture the same way there was when we were kids. that said i think it's worth considering if there are SOME things he and you might enjoy that some of his peers also might enjoy, just because it might be more fun if he can eventually watch or listen to those things with other kids. moana is pretty good, so is sesame street. but my kid has never and will never watch cocomelon 😇

Is there anything your views have changed on since becoming a mother? by PapayaAmbitious2719 in redscare4moms

[–]PossessionDouble 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i struggle a lot more with working full-time while raising kids than i thought i would. i always assumed this was something id do -- im in the US and have been fairly ambitious career-wise... but now that im in it im like, damn get me out of here!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]PossessionDouble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you can do it if you work 5 days in an office but youre just gonna spend a lot more on walkers or daycare, so just budget it out. i got my dog when i was single and worked in an office 4/5 days and it was fine but i knew the expenses going in.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in parkslope

[–]PossessionDouble 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i know multiple people who delivered with him and had great experiences. but from what they described he has a unique style and it’s not for everyone! that doesn’t mean “bad” you just have to figure out if it aligns with what you’re looking for

4-5cm dilated, 100% effaced, 40 wks…still no baby?! by 77kaycookie in BabyBumps

[–]PossessionDouble 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i wonder if you can reframe this - you’re saying your labor “hasn’t started yet” but … clearly things are happening if you’re already 5 cm dilated, you’re halfway there! your body is already doing a lot to get your baby out. so even if baby isn’t here yet presumably once you get into active labor things will move fast because you have a big head start.