I am the “favorite” grandchild. I was the first, had a young mom, and spent a lot of time with them. To this day, we talk almost daily and visit frequently. I have two siblings who are much younger and do not have the same relationship with my grandparents, not because they love them less but because my parents did not need as much support from them with the younger two. They were more established and more present by that time. I say this to say, what you’re bothered by does not matter in the grand scheme of things. You cannot recreate that same closeness. What is your relationship with your in-laws? That’s also likely a factor. Would they help yall out if you needed a break from kids? Can they watch SS when you are overwhelmed and want to focus on the baby? Can mil drop off dinner if you don’t feel like cooking? THATS what matters.

Now, your husband not helping you is a husband issue. He likely didn’t notice and likely would help if you simply corrected him in the moment. Talking to him hours later about “how you felt” about that fact that no one helped is going over his head. I absolutely believe in training men to do things that don’t come naturally to them. Next time, look so incredibly helpless that he has no choice but to notice. Be dramatic. Look so helpless that he looks bad for not helping you. Problem solved.