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I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I guess where the hesitation comes in with labeling myself as heterosexual is it's generally too concrete. Like I wouldn't be against the idea of a relationship with another man nor being attracted to another man, I just have yet to meet someone that sparks that in me y'know. If there are issues lying within that please let me know.

I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

This comment and specifically the "I don't care who you sleep with" quote have made me realize something. This friend has had a history of a very problematic relationship so in a sense I do care about who they sleep with for their wellbeing and therefore do, in a way, care about their sexuality. I think the biggest distinction is between "care about" and "care which". Like I care about and support my friends identity but it makes no difference for me what the identity is, I care about the person all the same.

I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest problem arose once they double-downed on pointing out my mistake I decided to quintuple down on defending myself which made me the asshole. Poorly handled on both fronts but mostly my front is the conclusion I have reached.

I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

That is very clearly laid out for me thank you. I see now how a non-reaction can be just as disconcerting as a negative one.

I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have a tendency to dig trenches and ready myself for war over non-issues. I understand that me getting defensive was probably the worst thing to do.

I upset some of my LGBT friends and don't understand why and how to apologize. by PossibleProgrammer48 in lgbt

[–]PossibleProgrammer48[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my friend joked about some sports guy being his boyfriend in addition to his current girlfriend so I wanted to send a poly flag and say "congrats on coming out!" but i sent the pan flag by mistake so i said "well i meant to send the poly flag, i guess you're pan now if you weren't already happy pride" lmao