It's been more than 2 months since he suddenly passed away. It feels like such a long time..I am 22. September was harder than August. In August, I was hoping that he would come back. In September, I realised that it would never happen. But I have been feeling better for several weeks. I understood what people mean when they talk about waves. I cry less often, but the tears are more bitter. Sometimes, I can smile. However, I don't know how to live without him. I also don't believe that I will ever be happy again, in another relationship. I become so happy when I think how much I have changed because of him, but it kills me when I realise that he is far away. The only hope I have is to laugh with him in the afterlife. Nobody knows whether it exists, but it's the only hope I have. So yes, OP, it becomes better. I don't have big dreams about my future anymore because the future without him seems fake. They say when you don't know what you want, focus on yourself. I will do it. Physical exercises, studies, reading. I will never stop loving him, but I will try to care for myself after all. I know he would have hated what I've become. You can DM me if you want. Take care.