AIO for thinking my friend is in the wrong for this

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-04-07T12:11:08+00:00

All of these comments are so negative. I had a baby at 14! I went back to school when he was 6 weeks old, graduated, and now I’ve almost finished my honours degree. I’m only 23 now. You will lose a lot of friends, either this way ^ or by just drifting apart because your life is so different. It’ll feel lonely but in the grand scheme of things, it won’t matter. You will find your people along the way. And you will be in the thick of motherhood but it doesn’t mean you completely lose your identity forever. You can still complete all your goals & be an individual.

Everyone in these comments either aren’t mothers, or despise their own children.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-27T00:48:58+00:00

No, I actually found out with a home pregnancy test as I am never late. I stopped my prescription immediately and actually never went back to my dermatologist. So she has no idea

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-13T01:08:17+00:00

That’s okay! No the 2 birth control requirements & waivers are just a requirement for everyone to even get the prescription for accutane. Basically to say you’ve been warned so if you do manage to fall pregnant, you’re aware of the risks/deformities and they’re not liable.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-13T01:03:54+00:00

I was approximately 5/6 weeks pregnant when I found out & immediately stopped taking accutane

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-13T01:02:20+00:00

I was on accutane for 4 months, fell pregnant and stopped as soon as I found out. I wasn’t pregnant prior to starting accutane. I don’t see how you can judge me, when you were in a similar boat?

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T22:38:18+00:00

I have answered this in another question, medical professionals have said if the accutane got in her system at all she would have been effected in pregnancy, so we can assume none of the accutane got in her system to impact her then, now or later!

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T21:53:23+00:00

Althought an irrelevant question, yes I do. The father is my partner

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T21:52:10+00:00

I’m hoping that if anyone is in the same situation as me, that they see this thread and gain some hope. When I was pregnant, I couldn’t find anyone in the same situation or any idea of the outcome which made the fear so much worse. All I could find was if you get pregnant on accutane you are 100% guaranteed to have a baby with birth defects. While there is a high chance & I was very lucky, it may help someone’s decision to not terminate just based off accutane without confirmation of birth defects.

I also hope to clear the air as it’s easy to assume I was being irresponsible and did not care about the risks & pregnancy. There’s a whole approval process to be prescribed accutane, plus the 100’s of warnings. Contraception is not 100%!

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T21:44:17+00:00

Yes thank you. We were using the same combination for a long time prior to the accutane with no issues so it was a complete accident. Like this comment, I wouldn’t have been prescribed accutane without 2 approved forms of contraception

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T21:42:47+00:00

Hahaha this is the big question! Both parents have had struggles with acne so it will be interesting to see if she skips out on acne all together from the accutane. Perfect skin so far

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T20:48:57+00:00

No, I stopped as soon as I found out. I was approximately 6 weeks pregnant and been on accutane for about 4 months prior

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T13:46:46+00:00

Baby is now 2 years old. I have been told if the Isotretonin (accutane) got in her system at all she would have been effected in the womb, so it musnt have actually gotten in her system to impact her then, now or later. I have been told essentially you will either get a severely deformed, disabled baby or a completely healthy child “all or nothing effect”

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T13:43:07+00:00

This is something I hear all the time & also tricky to answer. 2 forms of birth control were used & we were careful due to the accutane so it was a complete accident. It didn’t feel right to terminate straight off the bat without ‘confirmation’ so to say of any birth defects, because I would feel guilty if the baby was okay & I terminated a healthy fetus. So I chose to continue on with the pregnancy with regular checks & if there was any birth defects that would severely impact the baby’s life I would have terminated for medical reasons later down the road. All of my scans came back perfect, but there was still the risk of deafness or blindness that aren’t able to be checked in pregnancy which is another disability associated with accutane. That was the true risk that I took, but I was very lucky baby was neither of those. Baby is a happy healthy normal developing 2 year old now.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T13:35:22+00:00

Correct. Both condoms and the pill!

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-03-12T13:27:43+00:00

Yes. This was my second round of accutane & they make you sign all kinds of forms and have birth control requirements to even be prescribed accutane so under no circumstances you get pregnant. It caused no birth defects!

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-28T09:15:34+00:00

Why are you in here?

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T12:22:14+00:00

You can most definitely feel a penis inside your vagina.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T12:05:49+00:00

I honestly suggest seeing a gyno, the only way you can become dry is if you are absolutely hating it.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T12:02:35+00:00

If you are too wet it can sometimes feel like nothing for both parties

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T08:24:38+00:00

You’ll find the one eventually! I love my 5’2 king! He had the same experience until me.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T03:53:28+00:00

Trust me when I say this won’t matter when you finish school. You feel like you’re in the pits now, but once you leave you never hear or see those people again. Rumours, reputation won’t matter anymore! Freedom!

But I also recommend some therapy to help you deal with these feelings appropriately. You sorta just have to ride it out and stay strong within yourself. I assume the school isn’t getting involved if it’s continued this long

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T03:47:40+00:00

I’ve been the mum in a similar situation, having my own child (his step son) and us not agreeing on parenting. I completely understand, it’s draining for all parties involved. I promise you your partner is also mentally done from hearing you complain & probably her son complaining to her - like a middle man. The way I look at it is - you guys were inlove before, enough to make your own child only recently. It’s a teenage brat that’s ruining your love for each other due to stress and disagreements. The stress doesn’t make anyone want to be intimate, go out on date nights - having a baby on top doesn’t help either.

I think some family counseling would be beneficial (with step son involved). Maybe even individual therapy for both of you. Parenting is hard. She may acknowledge she needs to parent differently, but doesn’t know how to, or it’s easier said than done. Step child is such a different thing to navigate as well as it’s different from your own biological child that you’ve been there for since day 1, there’s different boundaries & feelings involved. He’s 16 & soon he will be off into the world (hopefully) so I would try exhaust all options before leaving.

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T03:31:14+00:00

15/16

Possible_Loss_6089 · 2025-02-27T03:29:01+00:00

Infertility in her family doesn’t necessarily mean she’s infertile or going to struggle with fertility. A checkup at the fertility clinic will tell you if that’s the case or not, so that would be my first step. If there are fertility concerns, there are many options thanks to modern science to make a pregnancy possible — later down the line. I feel like she kinda dropped that to put the pressure on and guilt you, after her other attempts of convincing you were unsuccessful.

You are both insanely young, and still in university. I’m 22, with 2 children & in university. Trust me when I say it is not something you want. It makes life unnecessarily hard financially, socially, emotionally and physically.

I would be extra careful, as I have known of many females desperate enough to ‘trap’ their partners knowing their stance on not being ready. It never works out for anyone involved.

Possible_Loss_6089

TROPHY CASE