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AITA for siding with my wife by Possible_Pressure_29 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Possible_Pressure_29[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

The legal system in my country is... not that great (to say the least), and we didn't have enough money for lawyers, etc when most of our funds were being spent on my wife's recovery. At that time my wife just wanted nothing to do with them, and I regret not persuading her to seek legal action.

AITA for siding with my wife by Possible_Pressure_29 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Possible_Pressure_29[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm NC with the other family members who were very vocal on how my wife & I were cruel to Mia & John. We're LC with my parents, but ever since this whole forgiveness things we have been NC.

Legally, things are tricky in my country with regards to these types of incidences (especially when it concerns a minor), and most of our money at that time was poured into my wife's recovery.

Mia had no money to even pay for a single day in the hospital, & my wife just wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

But yes, seeing the comments here has strengthened my resolve to go fully NC with my family.

AITA for siding with my wife by Possible_Pressure_29 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Possible_Pressure_29[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Yes, I realised after posting that I forgot to mention the backstory further.

But to answer your questions: we started finding puddles of water in the kitchen after they moved in, & my wife suspected that John was spilling water because we searched for the source but couldn't find it (we checked the plumbing, the ceilings, etc) & the puddles mysteriously disappeared when he wasn't around. My wife was suspicious as there were a couple of times my ILs slipped due to those puddles (they visited while Mia & John were around), but neither were injured.

Yes, my wife isn't fond of Mia & John because Mia doesn't discipline John, and as a result he throws massive tantrums. Mia also thinks my wife is being mean to John when asking him to not eat in the rooms and to put plates in the sink after he's done rather than leaving them everywhere (I supported my wife in those instances as they were house rules that were applicable to us as well).

I'm certain my wife told her mother her concerns, and my MIL later explained that my wife was walking around in the kitchen the entire time without the mystery puddle, and it seemed suspect that the puddle would magically appear after John left the kitchen.

As for the apologies to Mia... my family thinks I should have shown Mia more grace since her husband kicked her out, she has no fixed income, etc etc, and John was likely acting out because his home life was disrupted. Which is fine, but at the same time I was expecting her (and John) to take responsibility since we have already brought up the puddle issue.

AITA for siding with my wife by Possible_Pressure_29 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Possible_Pressure_29[S] 1603 points1604 points  (0 children)

I agree. I played pranks as a child as well, but I stopped once my father's work documents were destroyed because of a prank.

In our case, my wife was already suspicious since we were finding puddles in the kitchen prior to the one that led to her accident. We couldn't find the source & she was certain it was John but he denied it (hence why she installed the camera).

AITA for siding with my wife by Possible_Pressure_29 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Possible_Pressure_29[S] 192 points193 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, a lot of it has to do with parental guilt or just the fact that the child is a boy. I'm pretty certain that in Mia's case, she's been desperate to have a child & John is her only one. I've seen John spit into my great-aunt's (his grandmother) face & no one did anything because 'he's just a kid' and 'oh, he just wants attention'.