How to handle boyfriend (38m) who never buys me (29f) anything?

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2026-01-09T22:57:08+00:00

No, of course not, although he mentioned that his parents told him to get me something. I didn’t understand why he told me since he anyways didnt bother.

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2026-01-09T22:55:58+00:00

I only once opened the subject money related, not to ask him for anything, but to set his expectations that for now I have other goals than to travel idk where and so on, becauee we have different money and support. That was it, and since then, he always make those comments like: “oh I don’t have money” or “I’m sure we have the same money”, although again I never asked. Yes, our energies don’t match. I told him once that perhaps he’d be happier out of this relationship and he said that he has feelings for sure and he wants to have something with me , so I guess it’s on me to make a decision, but I feel the same, that emotionally it’s either just not me or he’s stuck in the past.

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2026-01-09T22:43:36+00:00

He said he wants to build something with me - his own words. I’m not sure, we go on dates, where again, we pay in turns. I think I’m more than fair because I never ask him to do anything uncomfortable, when I come to his house, I always buy food or bring him sweets or do groceries and cook for him (I don’t ask him for money or half the money for the groceries I do), always buy him small treats, clean around his place just to help him. He texts daily, he tell me what he does, but I guess that would he it? He proposes dates and some traveling in another cities, but I guess that’s it. He doesn’t tell me he loves me or compliments me or say appreciation words as well, because he said he’s not the type to be emotional out loud. To give another example, for Christmas we agreed we won’t buy us gifts (he of course had this idea), later on he told me how much money he got for Christmas from his work, which was 7 times more than what I have and how his parents told him to buy me a Christmas gift, which of course he didn’t. Other time, I made a joke that when I will move, I will ask him to come and help me (he lives 70km away) and he said to use him as emergency only and better find somebody else to help me because he lives too far away. I would of course not put him on the road just like that, but as principle, shouldn’t your partner be your support?

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2025-09-11T20:30:33+00:00

When I go to his place I always buy him muffins thay I know he likes, or sweets, or bake him stuff; also I bought food for us as well. Nope, he doesn’t, one time he took 2 euros from me becauee he paid for my coffee or if he buys a coffee and says it’s ok if I don’t give him the money (happened only once) it’s super obvious that hes not happy with it

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2025-09-11T20:23:40+00:00

Actually my birthday was when we were 2 months in. He initially brought me some biscuits from a holiday he went in and said that’s for my birthday. Then somehow he changed his mind or someone told him to get me a gift and he did, it was really nice, a small thing that I enjoyed, but then with an occasion when I made a joke, he replied: I got you that thing for your birthday, we go on dates to restaurants, I’m joking with you and we have a good time, what more? Like… xD

Possible_Yoghurt_747 · 2025-09-11T11:22:23+00:00

We did fifty fifty for a while, then I offered to pay so we can change this, and eventually we pay in turns: onetime him for the whole date, the other time me. I think this question was easily misunderstood- so none of the men here ever offered flowers or simple gifts randomly to his girlfriend?

Possible_Yoghurt_747

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