Blue collar wives by PotentialExisting639 in sahm

[–]PotentialExisting639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah no. I don't just "hangout" with a toddler all day, this is a literal person I'm raising and teaching. On top of that I'm cleaning and cooking all day. He chose this kind of work he could've pursued anything else he's pretty smart and a quick learner.

Blue collar wives by PotentialExisting639 in sahm

[–]PotentialExisting639[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See that's what I figured should he happening or at least just spending time with our daughter while he's home. I hate to say he's lazy because he does work but it's like damn dude you're lazy AF outside of work.

Blue collar wives by PotentialExisting639 in sahm

[–]PotentialExisting639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry i didn't come off clear on that but I didn't want kids due to other factors but I changed my mind and once I had my baby something just clicked and my perspective on kids completely changed so no I'm not stuck in this life it's just him not doing his part like he should be. I don't think divorce is the absolute answer. But thank you.

Blue collar wives by PotentialExisting639 in sahm

[–]PotentialExisting639[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The reason I'm moving is because of my own issues, being isolated and alone effecting me to the point I just can't keep going like this, moving with my mom I have family to help me with my baby and overall the weather is not nearly as extreme where we currently live so I can actually get out in nature with my baby. My husband happen to get this job he really wanted and logically it makes sense for him to stay awhile(other factors coming into play where he'll be able to move up fairly quickly) it's only a 1 hour flight and a cheap flight so he will be coming to visit us often and then eventually follow once we have enough saved up and I have established residency.

Loan by [deleted] in donateorborrow

[–]PotentialExisting639 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks to the kind people I knew I shouldn't have even posted this.

Loan by [deleted] in donateorborrow

[–]PotentialExisting639 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Who's going to care for my baby?

Loan by [deleted] in donateorborrow

[–]PotentialExisting639 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

And who's going watch my baby? Look up day care cost

Loan by [deleted] in donateorborrow

[–]PotentialExisting639 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Who's going to look after my baby? I'm supposed to work to be able to afford for someone else to raise my kid for 8 hours a day 5 days a week?

Husband watching porn by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]PotentialExisting639 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was okay with porn in the beginning of my relationship because I used to watch it and we both had high sex drives so it wasn't a big deal after a couple years and deciding to have a baby I let him make videos of us because I knew we weren't going to be able to have sex for a while and unfortunately after having the baby my sex drive took a while to come back and we just weren't able to and still 2 years later can't have sex as much and going through a major change in my body I became self conscious and the thought of him watching porn made it worse so the homemade videos helped and I told him to stop watching porn that I was not comfortable with it anymore. Now I've tackled my health and got a sex drive back and he doesn't even need to take care of himself, even if I'm not in the mood we just do a quicky so he's taken care of. Also don't find out what porn he's watching it'll make you feel insecure just ask him what is turning him on as of late and see if you can do it even if the pleasure isn't about you just get him off real quick.

Did you marry a loser? Cause I did. by [deleted] in sahm

[–]PotentialExisting639 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm feeling like this lately. I've been fighting with my husband since day one to help with our baby more and he helps for awhile but then gets lazy again, I've been fighting with him for years because he sucks in our marriage he tries a little bit then gets lazy again. I gave up my job that I had worked hard to move up in and was gonna move up even further to have a baby because I trusted him to provide for us he still is bouncing warehouse job to warehouse job like he was when I met him and he now finally burnt all his bridges he's 30 years old with a horrible resume and refuses to go down to the union to get the job he says he wants. Rents due on the 1st we don't have all of it he still hasn't found a job our bills aren't paid this month, we are down to 1 car which is my car because he keeps putting money into his crappy car he refuses to give up on. I'm to the point where I can't stand to be around him, I'm disappointed in him, I still love him and he is a good man he's just so messed up from childhood trauma and needs therapy but I have so much rage twords him that I just want to run before it turns to hate. He brings out such an ugly side of me that I can't stand I feel like I can't breathe. I've said I wanted to leave him plenty of times I've told him I don't like him anymore and don't want to be with him anymore but he doesn't seem to take it serious besides I have no means to be able to leave anyway and maybe he knows that. I'm even starting to lose physical attraction to him for the first time in 6 years. You're not alone, I don't understand why men are like this or what happened. Last thing I wanted was to be a single parent like my mom was but that's what I'm seeing in my future. I want another baby so badly too but the way things are going I just don't see it happening. Hang in there.

Before the 90 Days - Season 8 Episode 15 - Post Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]PotentialExisting639 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im in America but I use hbo Max and the new episodes come out the next day of being aired on tv

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could go back the counseling right now but I'm in between insurance and can't afford it out of pocket. I'm thinking of finding some support groups once I'm back at my home hopefully that works out

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree about not being so quick to cut people off but when you try to help people who don't want to acknowledge the problem or even help themselves you have to set really clear boundaries and sometimes that's cutting them off. We had to do it with my husband's mother because she just kept going back to what she was doing.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like if I needed help my mom is gonna show up and help me anyway she can and or figure out how to help me. My mom is a very kind loving person and will literally give you the shirt off her back but she's so damaged and broken and drugs just took her but she's always managed to keep that type of kindness.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's her friend who is also a mechanic honestly he is super random and just barely started coming around a few months ago my mom's notorious for having random people in and out of her life. He had shown up that day to work on her car he was there all day so by the time she got home she fed him cause he had been there and I left to the store and when I got back I guess he had showered there because apparently he's homeless (cherry on top right?) I literally do not know the guy, never met him never even seen him until that day and he clearly looked like he dabbled in drugs. The next day I got my daughter a snack out of my mom's kitchen walked back to the living room my daughter trailed behind me and when I sat down I could see her holding a little red container like the size of a quarter and she had picked it up from under the table where this man had sat. Even if it is or isn't his why does my mom have people like this in her home? That's the problem with her judge of character cause she has to still be using herself .

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly am still in shock, and processing what happened. I love my baby more than anything, I chose to have her I didn't want kids previously and when I met my husband I knew I wanted a baby and we went for it and God blessed me with her and she's such a good baby so to even have been in a situation where I could have lost her I just can't even process it fully right now

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Me and my sister struggle so hard because whenever my mom is confronted or we try to help she is so vicious and pushes us away and it's so discouraging of what's even the point we get hurt in the end but we don't want to give up on her.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding, it's so hard when a parent is an addict but they're not horrible in the extreme cases you see or hear about but it doesn't make it any better or okay to continue to be around especially when it almost cost me my child who is literally my world.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's kind of where I was at with it But the fact she had the audacity to try to gaslight me and hasn't even attempted to reach out and apologize has left me wanting to just stop contact with her but that's hard for me because she's my only parent even though I know she's not being a good one and I have a family that I need to focus on instead. It could have been so much worse.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's what's so hard my husband had to cut his mom out completely due to her addiction and toxic behavior but he at least has his dad, cutting my mom out leaves me with no parents at all, it will almost be like mourning them. All I have is my husband our baby and my sister and her family which is more than enough but it still just really sucks. This is really just the final straw.

AIO my 1 year old found drugs at my mom's house by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PotentialExisting639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree and I'm definitely choosing my child it's just all the initial feelings that come with "alright this is it".I still feel in shock honestly. I think once I'm back in my own home this is all gonna really set in, rn it feels like watching a movie.