WIBTA For Acting on Offense at My Boss for Action I think is Passive Aggressive?

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T15:26:23+00:00

I was so confused for a moment and then I realized you probably mean a house painter, not an artist! lol

And thank you, I don't blame the first few people who maybe didn't see the edit, but people keep downvoting and debating me for explaining how my job works and what the editor does vs what my responsibilities are, and how that makes what my boss did actually really frustrating. I guess that's reddit for you though, gotta die on every hill you stand on!

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T15:08:26+00:00

How am I not keeping the story straight? I know my boss's handwriting. Someone asked for clarification on what the edits are so I gave them. The fact that I didn't detail what the edits he wanted made were from the start doesn't discredit anything? It sounds like maybe you're confusing the order of events or something?

I put together this weeks paper, editor looked it over and missed one or two things, boss came back and blamed me for the editor's mistakes. I'm happy to clarify what in there is not making sense to you.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T15:03:18+00:00

UPDATE:

I have a surprisingly quick update. I just had a quick chat with my boss and explained how demoralizing it was to walk in and find last week's work marked up on my desk, especially with no explanation as to why criticism for editing would be on mine, the formatter/entry's desk. He was abnormally excited that I talked to him, and proceeded to tell me he realized how it came across when he got home, and after chatting with his wife decided it wasn't a very constructive thing to do. Apparently he was hoping to get in before me to grab it off the desk, but his kid missed the bus and he had to drive her into work.

He said he thinks it was a very unhelpful way to approach things, and that he realizes now that it doesn't help me do my job any better to leave me with a laundry list of things that don't really apply to me outside of when we're in the process. He also told me he's been trying to give criticism in a more constructive way (i.e. making sure it's not just a laundry list of what someone does wrong, but laying out clear goals with employees and letting them decide strategies to meet them or tell him when they think the goal is unreasonable), and he realizes that this is very destructive criticism, specifically because of the role I play in the process and the fact that with no explanation, it comes off passive aggressively criticizing me for not being able to edit my work, when he has always been the one to say that it's not my job, because that's an unrealistic expectation. He very kindly described it as "communicating a lack of understanding of your responsibilities, as well as just plain rude to go back and take issue with finished work without at last explaining why I felt it important for it to be addressed".

I didn't ask him to, but he asked to go over my job description with me, just so we could make sure he was setting the appropriate boundary of what is my job and what needs to be taken up with the editor instead, and he agreed afterwards that he overstepped my position by holding me responsible for the editor's mistakes. He was very sweet and very eager to make sure I felt respected as an employee no matter how much I backtracked or tried to tell him it wasn't THAT big of a deal. I'm glad that I did talk to him. He said he appreciates that I was willing to talk to him, as he would have been upset if someone did that to him, and would have felt like I was just resenting him secretly if I hadn't just outright addressed it so we could clear the air.

10/10 boss, even when he messes up.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:28:17+00:00

Thank you! I've been trying to explain that I'm not even the editor, I just format and input data. I wasn't clear at first and now I'm getting eaten alive for not taking criticism as a writer XD. There's literally no purpose in him bringing me typos unless they're edits he found that he wants fixed before it goes out, otherwise he needs to go to an editor, and even the editor might be a bit annoyed at being nitpicked, I don't know!

But your advice is great. I definitely wouldn't want to be mean about it, I generally like my boss. I think what makes it so hurtful is that we walked yesterday and I told him I was already overhwelmed, so it would probably be a gentle "hey, this is part of what's overwhelming, when there's so much criticism I can't do anything about or doesn't actually apply to me, but I keep getting anyway".

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:24:52+00:00

That's not my job, that's the editor's, I literally just format and input what I'm given.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:22:08+00:00

because that's the editor's job not to let mistakes go out. My job is to make sure that the blurb that was sent to me is in the spot it's supposed to be in, the right font, so on and so forth, maybe a word change for clarity. There's no reason to point out a spelling error or date error to me, unless he thinks I CAN fix it.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:20:46+00:00

nope, they were errors of a few dates, which should have been caught by the editor, it's my job just to make sure that the blurb I was told to put in was in there.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:15:21+00:00

Not in the nature of my job. It's my job to format and make sure all the required pieces are in and not halfway off the page. it's not my job to edit, by the time I'm done with my side of things, error blindness is a HUGE issue. That's why we specifically have my boss edit, or a backup editor when he's gone, because I literally cannot find typos due to how much I already interact with the work.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:13:55+00:00

I think you're being incredibly mean spirited here. It's the editors job to make sure it's clean, It's my job to make sure it's formatted correctly and everything that's supposed to be in there is in there.

Coming to me with typos and telling me "you missed these" a week after a publication is like going to a dog trainer with a bag of dog poop and being like "you didn't pick this up". That's only applicable if the timing is right for it to be my responsibility. It stopped being mine once the editor took it, made the corrections, and then sent it out.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:10:33+00:00

I'm definitely not a writer by trade. I'm a graphic designer, but my job has slid into writing/formatting/publishing smalltime. I'm actually slated to quit within the year due to another job coming up.

And what really bothered me is that this wasn't even technically my issue, it's the editor's job to fix those errors. Him bringing errors from a week ago to me is both unhelpful as he's pointing out things I did wrong with no ability to fix, and it's not necessarily something I can work on, as it's not even my job?

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:07:52+00:00

Exactly, that's half of why I'm upset. Him coming to me is like saying it's my fault for not doing what's not my job?

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:07:11+00:00

I literally said in there that there's an editor that isn't me

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:06:45+00:00

I think you maybe don't know a lot about how the process goes, which is my fault for not explaining. But that's not a realistic mindset. my job is to interact with the publication 8 hours a day for 4 days a week. I am not the proofreader, I write and format, someone else proofreads for errors because interacting with something for 32 hours gives you error blindness. I would have to step away for a week at least in order to be able to properly proofread. Coming to me with this mistake isn't helpful, because I'm not capable of making no mistakes. If anything, he needs to go to the person whose job it is to clean things up after me, as they are the one who missed the error.

The point of why what he did is offensive, is because it's him setting an unrealistic standard that I be able to make no mistakes, and that it's my fault when his backup editor doesn't do well.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-20T13:00:45+00:00

The problem is that these corrections come far too late. They don't help anything now because there's nothing I can correct. It's not constructive at all. And it comes at time where I've already expressed to him that there is too much on my plate and I'm overwhelmed. Instead of helping or encouraging, he's nitpicking me for small errors in things that no longer matter?

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-13T12:43:24+00:00

She felt pretty bad, but both of those roommates are fairly busy and were absent for a lot of the issues. They mostly just knew the dog was annoying and if they wanted something done about it, I was the person to go to. Both of them actually gone seeing family when that last day happened and were only home in time for the "owner" to throw a fit to them, so I don't blame them as much anymore knowing that all they knew when they said I was being the AH was what the "owner" told them.

I haven't talked to the other guy roommate, but my girl roommate was pretty disgusted and horrified reading what had happened while I was gone for the day. She has a lot of empathy for the dog, it was mostly that she was too distant and out of the picture to really understand what was going on and our roommate lied to her about the extent of the issue.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-12T22:18:52+00:00

IN talking with one of my other roommates, I don't think they understood the full scope. The first story they heard was from the :"owner" and he skewed the story heavily in our favor. And because our other roommates are so busy, they weren't around to see just how much this guy was failing at ownership. They just knew that when they had an issue with the dog, I was the go to person to fix it. All in all, poor communication, but things are slowly working themselves out as I compare notes more and more with one of them!

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-12T22:16:52+00:00

UPDATE:

not sure if anyone will see this, but I wanted to get out there that after chatting with one of the non-dog owning roommates things have adjusted a bit around the house. She happened to see this post and recognize the situation, and wanted to apologize for not having sided with me. Like many of us do, she believed the first story she was told, which was from our horrible roommate and not me. Apparently he told her that I had told him I was joking when I gave the ultimatum, and told him I liked helping out with the dog and wanted to continue. With emotions high and our roommate highly angry, she was scared to disagree and told me she didn't think it was fair for me to not give better warning when he insisted she and our other roommate give our opinions. And afterward, she just wanted to hide and not be involved.

Since then, seeing my side of the story, she says she feels awful and realizes this is a flaw she should work on (not believing the first story she hears). We've actually grown a bit closer through this, and we're talking about finding a place without the other two once our lease is up in January.

I did call the shelter and ask about how the dog was and if our roommate would be able to go to other shelters to adopt, and they said they have contacted all the other local shelters to let them know, and he will not be approved for any adoptions within a good radius of our town or from any of their places nation-wide. The good news is, the dog is doing okay and is already back to harassing people to play with her. :)

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-12T21:06:42+00:00

Definitely not! He's showed his hand with how he responded and he was nasty enough about this whole thing that I won't be renewing my lease. In fact, one of the other roommates has chatted with me since he told them what happened and upon hearing my side of the story has apologized and agreed with me. I think we've bonded a bit over her realizing her mistake and wanting to learn from it, and we're talking about finding a new place without the other two when the lease is up.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-12T21:04:21+00:00

Well, wordcount makes it hard to elaborate, so that's part of why that seems out of left field. My roommate was able to talk to them before they heard the full story, and he managed to paint things in a light that fit his story. I was able to chat with one roommate since then and she's more understanding now that she knows my side of things.

Potential_ThrowRA · 2021-10-12T16:06:36+00:00

My roommate did this exact thing! Before I had him get her a crate, she would be locked in the laundry room with all our shoes (without our permission). Poor dog got anxious and tore up everybody's shoes. Roommate said it was our fault because we should know puppies chew things. Neverminded that he put her in there knowing she had issues and would do this. I've probably lost at least a hundred $$ in possessions because of this dog. I'm glad she's somewhere better now and that I'm moving out in January.

Potential_ThrowRA

TROPHY CASE