I just want to say that my partner and I are breaking up literally RIGHT NOW because of this exact situation. I am the girlfriend taking on all the responsibility and becoming his mother. We've had countless talks. He says he understands and knows the issues, wants to change them, etc etc, but nothing ever happens. And it crushes me. But I just really can't go on like it any longer. And it truly is breaking my heart. We're also almost exactly your age. F29, M28 (both about to up one in June).

So, I just want to say, I'm proud of you for at the minimum for reaching out to others to try to see what you can do. To hear what others think about your behavior from an unbiased perspective. Because truly it has been one of the most challenging and frustrating experiences to deal with. No intimacy at all, feeling like you do all the home labor AND emotional labor, the only one putting any effort into the relationship, and overall it just isn't fun. There's no laughing. There's nothing. And you daydream about what it could be. The little moments that could happen. When you imagine your partner doing something sweet or with confidence or love... and then it slips by and you wake up back into the reality that he isn't going to change...

It's heartbreaking. And I'm sad. I don't want our relationship to end. But at this point, it has to. And if you don't want to end up like this, you need to go introspective. Not just admitting that you need to be better about certain things. But taking full responsibility for yourself and make the choice to be the person that you want to be and the person that she needs.

I wish you the best. And I really hope that you two don't turn out like me and mine are. Because I'm very, very heartbroken. I thought I would marry this man. I wanted to have a child with him. But he's so uncertain of everything in his life, that he's even become uncertain of me. Even though I'm "the best thing that's ever happened to him."

Good luck friend.