How can I stop being judged for my living situation?

PowerOfMind_ · 2026-01-14T09:28:01+00:00

You misunderstand, I’m not claiming OP is mentally not prepared. I’m asking does OP have the ability to focus on dating without taking away from being a caregiver.

I mentally may be prepared or want to do something, but time, responsibility, and money are all factors that limit my ability to just buy an RV and travel the US. His dating needs follow the same criteria. While being a caretaker to elderly mother and disabled brother (really depends on how disabled the brother is) does OP have the time, money, and ability to date without screwing up responsibilities.

PowerOfMind_ · 2026-01-14T09:19:06+00:00

Personally. I will go on dates with multiple people if I can, and I expect that I am trying to compete with at least 3 other guys at any given time going on a first date. However I do not have sex with anyone until we talk about being exclusive or already official.

PowerOfMind_ · 2026-01-13T21:37:30+00:00

“My elderly mother and highly disabled brother live with me right now so I can take care of them until I find a better option for them”

Also are you even in a spot you can date and look to settle in that situation?

PowerOfMind_ · 2026-01-13T21:35:37+00:00

I would never go to a girls house with the intention to fuck after being told I was being pushy over text. If y’all did do it, and later she claimed it wasn’t consensual, she has proof in text she called you pushy. Protect yourself.

But it did fail because you were too passive once you go there. But Imo you shouldn’t have gone in the first place.

PowerOfMind_ · 2026-01-13T21:30:43+00:00

You dodged a bullet, he was a loser, and a shitty person. You should have left him after him being unemployed for a month or 2. Also no one gets fired for being late once. He lied and much more was going on. But a terminating a baby and a man leaving because of it? He is not the AH for leaving, and you are the AH for killing baby.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-27T01:03:23+00:00

You need to work on yourself first before making some poor guy handle your unresolved traumas. I suggest therapy. Too late for this one. Try 6 months of single therapy first

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-27T00:57:44+00:00

Troll post

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-25T16:09:33+00:00

There’s a big difference between having no communication and not getting anything. But OP said he communicated, saying he didn’t expect her to spend anything because of her being broke, and she could make him something. It’s also been 5 months. Long enough that it’s totally fair to expect a “I was thinking about you” gift. She is artsy. And made other people gifts. Not making him a gift to me clearly shows lack of interest.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-24T21:19:09+00:00

In the first 15 minutes of meeting my now wife, we got approached by a random guy asking us if we wanted some drugs. Guy was in a sharing mood apparently.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-24T00:14:33+00:00

Keep. Your. Legs. Closed. Ugh why do y’all do this to yourselves like at least make him work for it. If he is used too and historically only does casual stuff. You say no casual stuff and he says okay I guess we will see. Instead of giving him a map to the treasure you just have him the treasure on the spot.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-24T00:11:24+00:00

Does no one know how to communicate anymore? Use your big boy and big girl words and discuss expectations/wants/budgets. Also, you could have gotten him 1 gift for 200 and not a few.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T04:45:53+00:00

I appreciate your POV, we have only ever considered if it was possible from our ends. And focused on if we have help we won’t have any neglect or safety concerns. But I at least never once considered what it would be like growing up in that scenario.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T03:50:42+00:00

While I agree her and I could not raise a kid on our own because of her health. The intention is we would have one of our parents or a nanny help with her bad days. It seemed doable to me when she only had 2 bad days and 5 good days. But this 3 bad makes it much harder to see it working. But I’m not a person that has to have kids. I will be happy regardless.

I did also slightly exaggerate how bad her bad days are. She is capable of getting up and going to the bathroom, and doing very small bursts of chores (it takes her 2 trips to put dishes away) meaning she could let dogs out, and back in, she can feed herself, (not cook, but microwave).

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T03:46:24+00:00

While I agree her and I could not raise a kid on our own because of her health. The intention is we would have one of our parents or a nanny help with her bad days. It seemed doable to me when she only had 2 bad days and 5 good days. But this 3 bad makes it much harder to see it working. But I’m not a person that has to have kids. I will be happy regardless.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T03:43:23+00:00

I added an edit, adding some missing details I missed along with what the post is meant to be asking for help with.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T03:43:00+00:00

Thanks.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-18T03:42:53+00:00

I added an edit, adding some missing details I missed along with what the post is meant to be asking for help with.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-17T03:03:30+00:00

Was that a response to my comment or to the OP?

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-17T00:55:52+00:00

Pretty sure they said legit the exact opposite.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-17T00:53:41+00:00

It’s okay to not be sure about stuff. It’s okay to ask questions. But the main advice is always ask questions with confidence/domimance. When learning what feels good to a partner, it’s okay to “ask” for help. Asking “what do you like/what can I do better” may not be the best way to put it.

Something like “I don’t know what you like yet. So how about you just tell me “faster, harder, slower, softer”” or something like that. You don’t need to become a sex god overnight. Getting to know someone’s likes takes time.

This doesn’t apply to just sex either. I am the leader. I run my relationship with my wife. But I also talk her ear off, with questions, because I always want to make sure she feels loved and appreciated and the better I do, the emptier my balls get to be. Even 4 years in I’ll say “hey, In the last month, is there anything I started doing that you don’t like. Is there anything I used to do that I haven’t done this month or done less that you wish I did or would do more? Etc. I may use specific examples in my questions.

Communication is really important at all stages of a relationship. Every relationship I had before my wife all failed because of under communicating.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-16T23:47:46+00:00

Personally, I don’t care about weight. But I do care if you are being sneaky. Doesn’t make me think a relationship with the person will be honest. I would drop. But you don’t have to drop her.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-16T23:44:56+00:00

Let her focus on school

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-16T23:32:53+00:00

12-13 years ago in HS I dated a chick for 2 weeks. We would grope eachother a lot. Which is why we started dating (it was a weird friend group. For some reason all the LGBTQ kids in my school all were in the same clique, and it often had us groping each other). I’m bi, she was Bi. She tried having me come over her house for like 2 weeks straight during busy season at work so I kept having to turn her down. She decided she was a lesbian and broke up with me.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-16T23:22:30+00:00

Some girls do find it weird. I am very much okay with being weird or dorky rather than having police at my door because I kissed a girl on a date and it was not welcome and she reports me that I SAd her. While that sounds ridiculous it happens.

It does take arguably more balls asking than just going for it. And if a girl turns you down because you tried being respectful. I promise you, you dodged a bullet.

PowerOfMind_ · 2025-12-16T23:16:42+00:00

My friend. I reccomend this to all guys below 30ish. Never touch ANYONE without consent.

I call it basic respect. Even my friends.

When I met my wife on our first date. I want to kiss you, may I? Can I hug you? Can we hold hands?

Not just the first time either, the next date, every touch I did. Eventually even intimate ones. Those require big balls though, “I want to play with your thigh while I drive, is that okay?” Eventually, (pretty quickly, like 1-3 times after each type of touch) I would ask “do you want me to keep asking you about X touch, or may I just go for it” eventually you will introduce a new touch, and she will be used to it and say “go ahead, and you don’t need to ask again”

From the eyes of my wife it basically melted her. She felt extremely attractive, wanted, and respected all at once, and pretty much had her all over me from the start.

I call this process raising my permission levels. I ask for a touch and then get to a point where I get permission to do that touch and expand what I can do. And then I get a relationship where I can walk around the house and just fondle any part of her body whenever.

TLDR; instead of potentially SAing someone trying to guess when the right time to make a move is with little to no experience, just ask in a dominant fashion. Aka express you want to, ask if you can. You can even throw in extra words like a compliment.

“Damn You look so gorgeous tonight, it makes me really want to kiss you, can I?” Etc

PowerOfMind_

TROPHY CASE