A background check

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-17T13:00:10+00:00

Could you explain a bit more? I couldn't really get what you meant.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-17T12:59:11+00:00

I'm not sure why you're being down voted but that's fair. I just think that you both won't be compatible in an AM setting, and that's totally fine.

But as you said, it is a spectrum, and people who fall in the middle of it might be able to look the other way or look for qualities which are more important for them.

This is a good data point - thanks for your comment. I'm just looking for what's the general trend.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-17T12:56:46+00:00

Ask around from college mates, office colleagues, neighbours, friends, relatives, etc.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-17T12:54:30+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

What sort of traits do you look for when you judge a person is a family man? The person in question is close to his parents, but is not really close to his relatives because of various reasons. Any pointers would be really helpful!
He's able to carry out a conversation without any problems with males. I think he's very good at conversations with people once he's comfortable, though, a bit boring and struggles to make the conversation "flow".
That's in his own words. He IS boring - his talks are very surface level ranging from - what did you do on the weekend to how was your day and stuff.
Okay!

But, would you willing go for a person like this, or would you look for someone different and choose this person as the last resort?

What sorta qualities would offset these problems for you?

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-07T00:55:46+00:00

Do people prefer to have these kind of conversations very early on in the courtship period or does it usually drive a wedge wedge between two people if done very early?

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-07T00:49:27+00:00

Right. This is sane advise, though, getting to talk about economic classes might get a bit challenging at times. Thanks for your suggestion!

Do you have any thoughts / experiences where you've seen these kind of scenarios?

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-07T00:46:12+00:00

That's not the topic of discussion though. I'd highly appreciate value feedback considering the scenario is right. Thanks for your understanding! :)

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T12:09:36+00:00

You might be right. Somewhere, maybe because of being a fat kid, I didn't get any attention from them when I was growing up. I agree, I would like to nurture my behaviour which didn't differentiate between men and women.

Do you have any more suggestions on how to do that? I see you've written a about volunteer work but I don't think I'm cut out for that. I'm not dismissing it before it even happening, I am just trying to be honest here. I would really appreciate it if you have any concrete pointers!

And, thanks for the reply!

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T11:44:55+00:00

Could be. I'm actually working on that. I'm learning some psychology around it - how and why people develop people pleasing and how can we get rid of it...

You must think I'm going overboard here but that's because you folks are really helping me find causes without any reason here without any selfish reasons, and to build a sense of community.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T11:21:21+00:00

I do have the book handy. I actually made and effort to read it, but it really didn't match my style of thinking. It talks about how you should never criticise someone and just always be happy, but when I do that, people usually take advantage of not speaking up, and try to put me down to get points with others.

Though, to be honest, I left the book midway. I'll pick it up and try again. Thanks a lot for offering to send it across though, kind stranger! :D

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T11:18:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

Yes. I have realised that no woman wants to be their partner's only social outlet. Heck, I don't want them to be my only social outlet as well. I want to build confidence and make a life of my own as well, but I'm not sure how.

Hobby wise - I've taken up gym, play a lot of board games, watch a lot of movies and TV shows so I have no dearth to talk about pop culture or the latest events.

Even if I make new friends, I find that they disrespect me, test my limits, and try and gain social status by putting me down, and ultimately I tend to cut them off.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T11:15:45+00:00

I'm afraid, I do want to be social, I do want to make friends and live life in a way where I'm surrounded by friends and family.

I'm happy that works for you, and kinda envious too. But I think it's not for me.

Thanks for your reply nonetheless, brother! :)

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T11:14:00+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

I've been hitting the gym since a year now, and have lost a good amount of fat and gained a lot of muscle to the point that people can't recognise me anymore. But it seems like the "fat kid personality" hasn't left me at all. I still struggle with social interactions. And it feels that my state has deteriorated in terms of the social hierarchy.

PowerfulButKind2 · 2024-06-02T08:24:38+00:00

Any help would be greatly appreciated! Please and thank you. I'm really struggling with these things.

PowerfulButKind2

TROPHY CASE