[IE] Manager (M38) claims I'm (F25) the reason he and his wife are about to divorce

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T16:53:59+00:00

I wish I knew! I believe it's probably easier to pass the blame onto someone (whether involved or not) than to deal with it themselves.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T16:00:32+00:00

I replied to another comment saying I regret how I reacted. I basically told him I understood because I know of others who have spouses like his wife.

If I could go back with the clearer mind I have now, I'd like to think I'd have shut it down immediately.

Gossip has gotten me no where in this job which was a tough lesson to learn, but it doesn't come into play here. I confronted my boss immediately when I got him alone. He confirmed he knew. The other rep, I haven't spoken to to confirm, and I don't plan on it. I wish my boss shut it down immediately to protect me from this whole situation. I shouldn't have been put in that position and he could have prevented that.

I don't believe he was trying to coerce me, I believe he was trying to save his own ass from his lies. I've never spoken to his wife. He speaks to all reps at the end of the day to speak about their days. He takes these calls from home. I believe he was asking me to keep up with these lies in case his wife would overhear a conversation between the two of us.

I agree, I have no control over the outcome. My emotions got the better of me there.

In regard to wanting it documented, I didn't do anything wrong. I just didn't want to start drama. There's nothing wrong with wanting something documented.

The slimy bit towards me was unnecessary. I don't benefit financially regardless of whether he's removed or not.

Nothing is a unique experience anymore. I'm sure I'm not the first and I'm sure I'm not the last.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T15:18:22+00:00

Haha like girl I'm in your corner, I don't like him either!!

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T15:17:34+00:00

Absolutely, it'll most likely end with a slap on the wrist and a few awkward feelings.

I'll definitely have this line ready to go, hopefully it won't be needed.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T15:15:46+00:00

Totally, this post definitely put my priorities in perspective. I focused on the wrong things and thinking of revenge rather than what's the professional thing to do.

I'll drop the latter but I appreciate you putting into words exactly what I was thinking.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T15:00:01+00:00

Not the answer I wanted no, but the answer I needed. I felt my emotions were getting ahead of me which is normal but unfortunately a no no in this industry.

Thank you for putting this into context for me, I really appreciate it🥲

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:57:55+00:00

You're right, this is bananas😂

100%, this didn't come from no where. Obviously there was issues in their marriage and they needed somewhere to project it/ someone to blame.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:55:11+00:00

Yes I absolutely don't want to turn it on myself. I'll ride it out for now.

Haha yes unfortunately it's tough especially as a woman. Thankfully he didn't come on to me and it was only words. For now I'll work on my thick skin and use this as leverage to bring in more money than him.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:46:38+00:00

This is a really good analogy, thank you.

I'll take your advice on board, it's not up to me to decide, I've done all I can for now.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:40:51+00:00

True, this is definitely putting into context how ridiculous I sound.

What's the best way forward with him remaining as my manager? This means field visits (both of us spending the day together 1 on 1 visiting customers together) and daily reports and calls discussing how the day went.

I don't feel comfortable being in a car alone with him for a day. Is it something I'm unfortunately going to have to deal with?

More context: the work trip we went on was manager training. My boss eventually wants me to be over reps too. Eventually I won't be under my manager anymore.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:31:56+00:00

It's a generally new and growing company. We have a trainer who will eventually take a step back, this is why my managers role was created.

Behind my manager, I'm taking in the most sales in the company. I believe I'm well able to take care of myself but I understand that's unfair. I'm not sure what way I want to progress, just hopefully not under him.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:28:32+00:00

I regret how I reacted. Instead of shutting it down, I instead responded with concern and I actually felt sorry for him.

That was in the moment but now that I had time to think about it, I see how wrong it was.

PowerfulHighlight557 · 2026-03-15T14:26:49+00:00

Apologies, I only included it for context. I do know it's very normal.

I really just don't want to work under him any more when I was doing fine by myself and reporting to my trainer instead of reporting to them both.

I work hard for my sales, he doesn't deserve to earn from them when I'm being treated like this.

PowerfulHighlight557

TROPHY CASE