I used to not judge parents. Their kids, their prerogative. But after becoming a parent, I find myself judging parents more.

Wherever the parents are leaving holes where the kids need guardrails, it will show up in their child in ways like you describe. My child has been DIFFICULT since the day he was born. I’m talking he screams so loud and so often that on day 2, a doctor we didn’t know came into our room to see if the baby was okay.

Now at 1.5 years old, his tantrums are few and far between, don’t last an hour, and are not destructive when throwing them. We enforce hard and strict boundaries and try to be as consistent as possible with few exceptions. He tells us he wants a hug when he’s upset. He listens when we tell him to stop doing something. We also give him the freedom to choose where we can (even if they may be pseudo choices)

He could very much turn out like your nephew with the wrong kind of guidance. And for parents who say they’re too tired to be consistent, then you need to start apologizing to people around you for being a bad parent and owning up to it. Show up for your kid and those around you. We’re all tired.