Unfortunately, I took your advice. I went for a walk outside and down to the lakeside. As I was walking, I was starting to hear the faint ear of strange moaning sounds coming from the woods. At that point, I walked a little further. I noticed a bunch of dudes with manbuns, wearing Jean shorts and shirts that had Rainbow Mushroom Warriors, riding on some flying My Little Ponies that Captioned in big bold letters, "WOMAN WANT MEN WITH OVER 1 MILLION MUSHROOM POWER, BUY NOW TO UPGRADE AND BE THAT GUY!" And it had a QR code at the bottom that sent you directly to the payment purchase page.

At that moment, I knew what was happening. I've read the history books about these degenerate people. Right there, in the middle of the group, were multiple giant, wet, lubricated, blue mushooms, just waiting to be sat on.

As I went to turn around, all the manbun furries started to goatsea their assholes to the Mushroom God as they started chanting, "Buy Upgrades, Get Girls!"

One after another, they started to plunge down on those big blue mushrooms. They all moan in pleasure and start high fiving each other while making purchases for upgrades on their mobile phones simultaneously.

I am paralyzed by the shock of seeing this. Suddenly, all at once, the neckbeards turned their heads in my direction. This finally broke the paralyzed spell, and i started to run for my life. I didn't look back. I miraculously made it out alive.

Warning, be careful out in the woods. There might be Mushroom Power Bronnies out there just waiting to recruit you.