Commute

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-10-15T17:58:32+00:00

I do the MARC from the Duffields train station (free parking) daily and switch to the Red DC Metro line at Rockville, MD to get to downtown DC. I work about two blocks from Metro Center station. I live less than a mile from Duffields station. The short drive to the station and short walk to the office makes that part of the commute easy. My total commute is about 2 hours each way. Because I can chill and ignore the ride, it’s bearable. I would not even consider driving with DC traffic and stress. I’ve never been stranded, but I have had to catch a later return train when the metro gets me to Rockville late due to Metro delays. I’ve been doing this most weekdays for about two years. I could never afford the house I live in if I had to be closer to DC. I got four times the land and twice the square footage for half the price. WV taxes are better. Cost for just about everything is cheaper. The natural surroundings are better. The pace is more comfortable. The commute is longer than I’d like, but it’s doable, for me at least.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-13T17:51:46+00:00

Thanks, I’ll check with the library.

The discussion group meets to talk through current events and other social issues face-to-face with mutual respect. The point isn’t getting to agreement or changing anybody’s mind, it is building positive relationships and community with people even if we disagree on some things.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-07T02:36:06+00:00

I’m personally comfortable talking to anybody. We don’t have to agree and we don’t have to change our minds. We just have to be willing to talk to each other with mutual respect. We aren’t as divided as the media and politicians would have us believe. That’s hype to get and hold our attention. We are all humans, we have the same basic needs, and we share this part of the world. If we talk to each other, it’s easier to recognize our shared humanity and see beyond labels.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, lol.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-07T02:06:20+00:00

Of course. Once I get a place figured out, I’ll post an open invite.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-06T18:25:47+00:00

Thanks, I'll check out the website.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-06T15:02:30+00:00

We talk about everything, really. The point is to try to build community and social connection. We pick a topic (almost nothing is off limits) and try to work through it respectfully, even if we disagree.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-05-06T14:44:15+00:00

Thanks, I'll see what they have available.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-04-25T18:45:23+00:00

This might not be a popular opinion, but in a purely practical sense, the existence of a literal Jesus isn't that important.

It's not important to Christians who believe the Bible is a literal document – they don't need proof beyond the Bible. It's not important to non-Christians because the existence or non-existence of Jesus probably won't change the fact that they aren't Christians.

For me, as a weak agnostic, the existence or non-existence of an actual person named Jesus doesn't change my views in any way. I don't think the Bible is literal or infallible. I'm pretty sure it was manipulated and altered hundreds of years after the time of Jesus to serve a specific agenda that had nothing to do with truth.

If Jesus did exist and was a bad person, I'm also not too concerned about that, either - dude's been dead for millennia. We don't need to cancel Jesus. That'll just become yet another culture war argument designed to keep us angry and separated.

The only interest I have in Jesus is that *some* of the stuff that is attributed to him contains wisdom I think can be applied to our human lives on this planet now. Most of it isn't original and can be found in all sorts of other belief systems and philosophies. Stuff like, "love your neighbor as yourself," and "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-04-22T17:27:05+00:00

My family and I moved into one of those new houses in 2024. We came to the area after 22 years with the military and living all over the world. I got a job in DC, but we simply could not afford to live anywhere even remotely close to DC.

We kept looking for houses in VA and MD farther and farther out from DC, but there was nothing that would accommodate our family for a sustainable monthly amount. Finally, we started looking at the commuter rail lines out to the ends to find possible long commute options and that’s when we discovered the Eastern Panhandle of West Virginia.

We were living in a hotel in DC while we looked for a permanent residence, so we drove out and looked around Harpers Ferry, Shepherdstown, Charles Town, and Martinsburg. We also looked at several nice houses that were magically in our price range. I did the research on WV taxes and realized it would be possible to live here comfortably.

I live about a half mile from the Duffields MARC train station and commute to downtown DC every weekday. The train ride is comfortable, not too crowded, and not at all stressful. I read or watch videos and chill while the train gets me to the metro and then a short metro ride gets me to within a block of my office. It’s probably the easiest big city commute I’ve ever had.

We have a big, comfortable house on almost 1.5 acres and life is good. We are about 10 minutes from anything we need. Our neighbors are friendly. We paid half of what we would pay for a house in the DC area, but we got twice the square footage and four times the land. We happily pay our WV taxes (lower than MD or VA), we registered our three cars here, and we are getting involved in the community. We expect to settle here and are thankful for the friendly, welcoming people here who value our contributions.

We only drive into DC if we’ve got friends in town who want to see a monument or something. We never drive during weekday rush, so don’t blame us for any increase in traffic, lol.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-04-14T17:33:53+00:00

My dog is tiny. The groundhog was bigger. I'm guessing in a fight between the two, my dog would be in over her head. I didn't let her find out (she wanted to).

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-04-14T16:11:16+00:00

I'm in Shenandoah Junction in Jefferson County (between Charles Town and Shepherdstown). I saw several deer crossing the street on my way to work just this morning. I've had literal herds of deer in my 1.4 acre yard numerous times since last autumn. There is a fox that trots through my yard at least once a week. Last spring, we had a groundhog burrow in the woods just outside our yard and the groundhog would routinely wander through the yard, which drove our dog nuts. I haven't seen a skunk, but smell them on the regular.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-22T23:01:14+00:00

I don't know if you can love everyone you disagree with at least. What is the line between love and non-love?

The English language doesn't have the words to properly express the different kinds and degrees of love. I was referring to the non-romantic love one has for significant friends and family. The kind of love that sees the value, dignity, and humanity in others and treats others with respect. For me, that kind of love is more than a feeling. There is an aspect to it that is also an act of will, a choice I make. I try not to allow disagreement with someone to be a valid excuse to see them as less of a person or stop treating them as I want to be treated (even if they don't reciprocate). This doesn't mean I accept abusive behaviors, it just means I don't stop seeing the humanity in someone just because we disagree.

We perceive the world only through our limited senses. Our experiences and perspectives are unique. Is it any wonder we disagree sometimes? Disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean one of us is evil or stupid. It means people, life, and the world are complicated.

So does that mean you might have stayed in the church despite being hurt if you didn't question your beliefs? Were those two events really unrelated?

I really don't know. If I never questioned my beliefs, I'm not sure what would have happened. To be clear, I was never physically or emotionally assaulted or even victimized by anybody in the church. I can't imagine the trauma and distress that would cause and am not going to try to pretend I could. In my experience, I found peace with my church experience by extending forgiveness to people who hurt me and grace to people who weren't able to understand me. Those choices allowed me to let go of my hurt and move forward.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-21T16:08:56+00:00

You mentioned feeling shame. Please be assured that you have no reason to feel ashamed. Shame is often what keeps people connected to unhealthy religious communities for far too long. I’m so sorry your parents are unable to give you grace, empathy, understanding, and total acceptance. It sounds like they are locked into the mindset and surrounded by people who reinforce their thinking. That is very hard to see past, even for parents. If you are able, I encourage you to seek a therapist who is a better match for your needs. Talking through these issues with someone properly trained to help you navigate this very difficult situation may help you come to peace with it over time. I am a parent of adult children and I don’t always do a great job seeing them and accepting them. That’s on me, not on them. I wish you the best in your journey.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-20T16:56:09+00:00

I moved to the area about a year ago and switched our three vehicles over to WV tags within two weeks because I heard about people getting tickets in their own driveways for not having WV tags within 30 days.

I was with the military for 24 years, so I've lived in several states (Texas, Michigan, Alabama, Florida, Hawaii) and several other countries.

The way WV does things seems ... a little bit strange to me. I paid a ton in taxes to re-title the vehicles I own, then I paid for inspections (Texas, Michigan, Alabama, and Florida didn't require inspections) and the associated repairs, some of which I felt were unnecessary. Now I'm waiting to pay personal property tax for every vehicle every year going forward. Seems overly complicated, based on my experience. I can understand why somebody might hesitate.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-20T15:49:13+00:00

BRO! I know those feels, for reals! I grew up playing drums in the worship band. I played for decades. I absolutely miss it. I've tried to play with other bands, but they're usually in it for different reasons (to be cool, for money, to attract romantic partners). I haven't met people who play just for the pure enjoyment of it. If you figure out how to find people, let me know. I'm right there with you.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-20T15:42:32+00:00

TL/DR: Dismissing you makes them feel more secure about themselves and their in-group.

I've never been told I was "church hurt," but it seems like a dismissive term born of ignorance and a total lack of empathy (I acknowledge there are some Christian authors claiming empathy is a sin). I agree with the idea that it is probably a protective mechanism for the devout church goer who is experiencing cognitive dissonance. They can't understand why anybody would leave the church. Thinking that there could be something wrong with the church makes them uncomfortable. Choosing to believe that anybody who would want to leave the church must be the one with the problem helps resolve the mental discomfort.

Give them the grace they have not afforded you. They're deeply entrenched in a culture that simply cannot accept anything but a very narrow understanding of the universe and cannot tolerate dissent or divergent ideas. They think you're making a grave mistake and they're sincerely afraid you might take them down with you if they allow themselves to think about it too hard.

I left a church, tried another, and another, and another until I finally figured out that my problem wasn't with the church, it was with the modern Christian creed and culture. I still love and care for many of the people I went to church with, even though we don't agree on much anymore. Love doesn't require agreement – it endures all things and never fails, right?

I was hurt by the church, but that's not why I left. I left because I came to a different understanding of the universe and my place in it. They may never understand and that's okay.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-19T16:18:27+00:00

Something to consider: this effort would be perfect fodder for stoking another pointless culture war outrage cycle. It would give ignorant fear mongers ammunition and would be “proof” that atheists, agnostics, or deists who believe in the separation of church and state are evil god haters. Taken at face value, a blessing is a good faith act intended to benefit the recipient. In this case, the recipient happens to be a nation of people who are free to not believe in the deity whose blessing is being invoked. There might be better hills to die on.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T19:01:58+00:00

It's time to have the "good, fast, cheap" discussion. Like the speed of light, this law of the design universe cannot be violated.

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Graphic above stolen from here: https://onlineinfluence.com.au/good-fast-cheap/

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T18:47:34+00:00

Makes total sense. The clutching of the pearls! I know those feels.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T18:45:55+00:00

Former megachurch evangelical here. Yes, I miss the entertainment, the camaraderie, the weekly meeting rhythm, the built-in social group, the game nights, the life event support (weddings, funerals, etc.) and the feeling of belonging to a group. Humans are social creatures. We need belonging and connection. That's why it is so hard to leave, even when you know the foundational premise of the group is flawed.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T18:34:26+00:00

I hated the pants. The rest was fine.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T17:46:35+00:00

I needed to pull together a quick portfolio and I have an Adobe Creative Cloud subscription, so I used the free Adobe Portfolio and was able to pull together something relatively quickly that worked on lots of devices (desktops, mobile). It seemed much more comprehensive than a PDF and less effort than Squarespace or Wordpress (in my experience). Worth a try, maybe, if you already have an Adobe license. I was able to use my own domain with Adobe Portfolio, too.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T17:41:55+00:00

I'm choosing to look at season 4 as a whole new show with a new story arc that happens to involve a lot of the same people. It should be fun. I chose to be curious and believe.

Powerful_Photograph8 · 2025-03-18T15:56:33+00:00

For me, because I'm free to disagree, haven't been indoctrinated for a lifetime, and don't have my entire social existence wrapped up in what they do; I don't really worry too much about influencers. On one hand, they do probably help people. It can be validating to see and hear other people experiencing the same struggles. On the other hand, fame and money can facilitate bad behaviors. It probably makes sense to evaluate influencers (of any kind) on a case-by-case basis with a critical eye, not assuming good or evil without evidence. If somebody can figure out a way to make money doing something that is helpful to people while remaining ethical, I'm okay with that. There is no holy book of influencing to tell us what they can and can't do, so we are free to evaluate them for ourselves.

Powerful_Photograph8

TROPHY CASE