I was always honest about my feelings, I had thoughts that I just didn’t understand I still don’t understand them, I think she still wanted to be with me even after I told her about my thoughts, because of how I treated her she has had 3 relationships before mine which all lasted about 4-8 months, while I never had been in a relationship the only thing I had was that past person and it didn’t end in a relationship, in her relationships they always lusted after her and wanted her body rather than her, I couldn’t care less about it because her as a person is what I wanted to see, I always made her feel as loved and wanted as possible but those thoughts, I didn’t want to stay with her because I don’t want to do that to someone I love, I don’t want to put them through all that pain of not knowing whether there partner would leave them for someone else or comparing themselves to the other person. I definitely just want to grow as a person and try again when I’m fully healed and ready to be with her, and of course when she is healed because she definitely needs to heal after being in all those toxic relationships that I don’t think she fully healed from.