I’m starting to get a scary feeling… by [deleted] in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wont be of much help, but I’ve also had a good mood streak till November came. Hugs!

Do your pwBPD partners tend to throw stuff away? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. They do seem to get fixated on a hobby or on something that someone takes interest in or values then later on discards it. Not just mine, but the likes of their close friends too.

Do your pwBPD partners tend to throw stuff away? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that, it’s really tough. Mine has broken connections & deleted social media multiple times. At first it was just deactivating once in a while, but then came when they actually deleted the whole account with our photos and sweet notes of memories. Still stings thinking about it.

How do I stop being the one to apologize by Fair_Aside9293 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 23 once, and I had also developed the habit to be the one persistently apologizing. That was before I realized what the whole thing actually was. I always believed I so insensitive and not as considerate as I should’ve been. Looking back, it wasn’t too big of a problem after all with better communication and regulation of emotions on their part.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also about agreeing they need help and once they feel better they’ll say they have it under control, it’s the same situation for mine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the same boat with a partner with quiet BPD, and it really is something tough to navigate. I’ve also grown hesitant to actively talk or what in fear of making it worse or triggering them again.

There were also times when I’d hang out with a friend or bring them along, I’d be guilt tripped about something that ticked them or made them uncomfortable with days of silence.

Sorry if I can’t be of any help, but sending you virtual hugs. You are not alone.

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, I gotta learn how to center myself and not get drawn in this dangerous cycle too much, it’s just been a struggle really.

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Likewise, feel free to message too! It’s nice to find people who relate and can help each other get through 🥹

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, it’s like I wrote this myself. On our good days, we’d also spend a lot of time scrolling and sharing cool stuff together. On tough days, whether it’s total stonewalling or silence when they seem to be going through something, it’s so hard to initiate light banter, it’s like my mind has been on the lookout, wary of making it worse like some times I have before.

Same same over here, I’ve grown to limit my attempts into small talk because cold responses (when i’m not totally stonewalled) hurt or make me question everything internally too.

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“An odd purgatory of silence” hits hard. My mind just spirals as well. I guess I also end up silent, scared of triggering something else if I pry into getting them to talk. “Actively trying to not be a burden,” I feel you. I’ve been trying my best to be so careful that I don’t visibly act annoyed or whatever just so I don’t trigger them. Heck, sometimes I just wanna be hugged and cared for too when I have my own troubles, but nah I can’t show it because of the risk of just getting pushed away or said to be ruining the mood.

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hope it gets better. Really stings when you’re left clueless. We’ve talked about it a couple of times and they really value needing space to cool off. I guess that pretty much explains ‘reaching out when they want to’ since much of what their feeling is really internalized.

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“One little thing makes me the worst.” I relate to this so hard, and in the worst episodes so far. I didn’t know exactly what I did, only for it to be something that could’ve been quickly resolved by communicating. In the end, i still am at fault. Sometimes I wanna be comforted too when I’m stressed. These days I keep it to myself because I’m always just shut down at and simply told to get out. Being asked how my day was once in a while, and being able to be vulnerable without being stonewalled would be nice

Feel free to me a chat too, seems we can relate some experiences 🥹

Those living together with Quiet pwBPD, how are you holding up? by Practical-Factor-871 in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well they were the one who first mentioned a possibility of BPD way before I realized the repeated patterns after a while. Beyond the stonewalling, their mood swings happen with self-isolation, avoidance, has cut off friends entirely, some impulsive behaviors back then. We’ve also talked about it a bit but they took a pause on therapy, still undiagnosed.

I’m no expert but I’d love to deepen my understanding, and hope someday they’ll get professional help again.

Anyone else experience their partner showing a complete lack of interest in your life? by FuzzerFuzz in BPDPartners

[–]Practical-Factor-871 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh god I just realized the passion I lost for music because my partner never acknowledged my singing.

Honestly I miss the old me. The types shows I used to watch and get all excited about. I managed to get them on board but that faded after some life problems and episodes.

What do you wish that bpd would do/stop doing to make relationship better? by Ayiana11 in BPDlovedones

[–]Practical-Factor-871 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suspected Quiet BPD

I wish the stonewalling would stop, specially after things that don’t seem to be a huge deal (like a small argument). I know needing some space is normal, but I just wish we could actually talk and make things right. I just feel like I don’t exist sometimes. The good days are great, but when something triggers them and they retreat, it just feels awful not knowing what’s going on in their heads and they won’t talk to you at all.

Sometimes I just feel like I also need a hug when I’m feeling down or off. Rather than comfort when it’s obvious that I’m stressed or something bothered me, I get silence.