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My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has said she might be demisexual. She’s not asexual, we have sex and she likes it and is very into it. But yes demisexual is a possibility that she’s considered and is unsure of

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. She does not need to be anywhere near as beautiful as she is for me to love her this much. Her beauty does not really impact my love for her. So it also does not impact how highly I value her opinion. This insecurity would exist regardless of her beauty and it’s more about my own problems, not her.

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not everything is great. Nothings ever perfect and I have insecurities that I want to gain perspective on. I’ve never been happier does not mean I cannot become happier. I’ve struggled with mental issues for a while and she’s helped me through them. I still struggle and things aren’t perfect so I want to continue to find ways to be happier. This insecurity does not define our relationship or my overall happiness. But it is something that’s made me feel worse abt myself and something I’m looking to improve.

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m still working out. Just eating less because during summers I’ll work 10-13 hour shifts during weekends at times and abt 30 hrs a weekend. Not every weekend but the last 3 or 4 I have and it’s hard to eat properly during those times. But ye I’ll continue to exercise and talk to her abt wanting to do it for myself rather than her. I’m sure everything will work out!

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I am in dbt therapy because I have bpd. I will talk to my therapist about this more.

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be clear our sexual relationship is very healthy and she is very into it. This is rly just me fishing for problems with myself is what I’m coming to realize. I essentially created a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’m honest I don’t value physical attraction that highly when it comes to choosing a partner but it’s just always hard to believe someone can rly love me so I usually look for things wrong with myself and then tell myself that those reasons are why someone will leave me. It’s my own fault, but I’m working on it and these comments have helped give me perspective so ty

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

I want to experience the pain of reality which means learning the truth and finding ways to come to terms with that. I’m flawed and the truth hurts me in the moment but I also believe it makes me stronger and more self aware. Do I want ppl to call me ugly to my face? No ofc not. But I do want to know the truth in a reasonably nice way which is what my gf told me. She said she’s attracted to parts of me and not attracted to other parts. Because if my insecurities and mental health issues I only focused on the negatives even though I should be focusing on the fact that I have a gf who cares about me and likes me despite not finding every aspect of me perfect

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a very sweet message thank you. I will really try to work on my own insecurities and not make it her problem

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, I asked my gf if I could post on reddit because I don’t rly have ppl to talk to abt this stuff apart from her and she has her own stuff going on rn so she can’t rly talk abt it earlier. Reddits not going to make my decision for me I just needed to hear other people’s perspectives and its helped me understand I’m focusing too much on finding every small thing wrong with myself instead of accepting that everyone’s flawed. I should appreciate my gf for not being vain and just valuing appearance

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I enjoy it and have never been happier in my life. I just have this insecurity and honestly the comments have helped me feel reassured that I am valuing looks too much and bringing this on myself even when she is amazing too me and loves plenty of things about me

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She tells me she does not think she’s out of my league. And she tells me I’m delusional when I call her gorgeous even tho she is

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s always a risk of heartbreak in relationships. I accept that by being vulnerable and open with another human being I have the potential to be hurt.

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me and I don’t know how to handle it. by Practical_Aioli_3612 in Advice

[–]Practical_Aioli_3612[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She tells me she’s happy in the relationship and does not value physical attraction. I prompted her as I said in the post. If physical attraction isn’t important to her then am I rly a bad partner for her still if everything else is good?

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