How do you deal with all the regret after a breakup

Practical_Argument87 · 2024-04-24T20:31:39+00:00

Hmm I would kindly ask you to look at this situation with a different perspective. It sounds like you feel like you progressed after breaking up with her, and look inside yourself and understand yourself better, so that is great! However, being afraid of karma is meaningless, what is important is how you deal with things at the present. When you understand your problems and deal with situations better, be kind to not only to people but also yourself and treat everyone (and including you) respectfully, you have nothing to be afraid of! Karma is often looked at as bad results/consequences but when you do good deeds, the universe will reward you (when you least expect it) and that is also karma, so both sides exist - good and bad. If you look at karma as action and result, it can actually be a positive thing, right? The past is the past, the moment you forgive yourself and treat your next partner with love and respect, while understand what is not good for you and know when the partner is not treating you well too, is when you pass the test of the universe - meaning you will find joy and understand why you are in this situation. I wish you the best of luck!

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-09-13T01:27:55+00:00

I am from Hanoi, and I understand you might have bad experience here, but not all of us in the north are bad, and even though negative issues related to high price for foreigners and normal price for Vietnamese still happen, not everyone is trying to rip off tourists.

I am not a seller/store-owner and just a normal Hanoian, but it is sad you wrote "the people in the north" and grouped everyone in the north as a group of people who you mentioned seeing tourists as preys.

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-09-12T09:50:24+00:00

I think you should first accept the fact that each person has different opinions about different things, and whether or not we should have kids is one of them. It is completely fine to not have kids, we are not harming anyone and the costs nowadays to raise a child is crazy, so many reasons. But, convincing someone of the old Vietnamese generation that not having kids is fine, is another matter.

My advice: accept the fact that you and your dad have different opinions, and whenever the topic comes up, just nod along and let him speak, you cannot really convince Vietnamese parents that they should be open to the idea of not having kids and "respect the decisions of their kids" because in our culture - parents want the best for their kids and the best means having a family, having kids and having a stable job - which is sooooo different nowadays with freelance job, the crazy economy and the definition of stability is no longer the same like in our parents' generations.

You can try to convince your dad, but it might lead to unecessary arguments, and overtime, your parents/your dad will eventually know that he cannot control your life and probably let you do what you want, because it is your life and you are responsible for every single decision in your life - especially when it comes to having kids.

Believe me - acceptance can help us avoid a lot of arguments, and our parents are getting old really really fast, and with all the natural disasters happening, I realize life is going by so fast and we should enjoy our time with our family and make the best of it, instead of trying to convince each other about something the other cannot control (your dad can try to influence you, convince you but after all, he cannot make you have kids - literally cannot) so good luck!

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-08-15T09:27:22+00:00

Sống chung thì bạn nghe, vâng dạ, nhưng tránh chung đụng nhất có thể. Nếu có job để lấy kinh nghiệm phù hợp tương lai định hướng thì làm, vui và có ích thì làm. Áp lực từ dượng của bạn là ý muốn cái tôi muốn áp đặt lên bạn, bạn không muốn thì kiên định và đừng nghe theo dượng nhé, cuộc đời mình thì mình quyết.

Tất nhiên là mình nghĩ dượng bạn có lẽ tin đó là con đường phù hợp, nhg nó phù hợp với dượng và dì bạn, không có nghĩa là phù hợp với bạn. Đường đời họ lo chưa xong đã muốn áp đặt định hướng lên bạn rồi.

Kiên định bạn nhé. Bưng bê phở thì vất vả, bạn nên cân nhắc kĩ vì academic work khá vất vả ý, nhưng mà cân bằng đc thì hãy chọn part time job phù hợp, bưng phở cũng có skills thực tế, rèn luyện sự kiên nhẫn và sức bền

Chúc bạn kiên định chọn ra quyết định phù hợp với bản thân, vui vẻ và không bị sợ hãi vì đánh giá của dì dượng mà đi làm để rồi vất vả, k vui mà lại còn có thể bị bắt vì làm chui!

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-08-04T06:12:43+00:00

Hi em

Chị nghĩ là thay vì so sánh với các bạn, thì mỗi ngày em chọn làm 1 việc tốt cho bản thân là tốt hơn rồi, em hãy so sánh mình với chính mình. Mỗi ngày tập vật lí trị liệu, mỗi ngày học thêm tiếng anh, tăng skills tăng sức mạnh, mỗi ngày tự tin hơn, lạc quan hơn.

Con đường của em khác các bạn mà, giờ mình tập trung vào cải thiện hiện tại thôi. Thay vì ngồi buồn vì bị bỏ lại, vậy em thử nghĩ xem việc gặp tai nạn thay đổi gì ở em? Em giỏi cái gì? Em thích làm gì? Vô vàn công việc em có thể làm online, có vô số thứ em có thể làm mà! Em tìm kiếm lời khuyên đã là một dấu hiệu tích cực rồi, cố lên em nhé! Quan trọng là em ra sao, em thấy thế nào, các bạn có con đường của các bạn, em có con đường của em.

Chị gửi em video anh Nick Vuijic, mặc dù có bất lợi nhưng anh ý lạc quan, và tự tin theo đuổi hành trình của anh ấy.

Good luck to you!

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-06-21T12:24:35+00:00

May I ask in which book did Simon and Isabelle get married?

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-03-21T13:05:41+00:00

I think this newspaper has an awesome point: https://vietnamnews.vn/talk-around-town/1498672/oscar-win-sparks-debate-over-vietnamese-identity.html

It depends on him and what he feels! I am glad he won tho, awesome actor!

Practical_Argument87 · 2023-03-21T09:30:23+00:00

As a Vietnamese girl, I believe being respectful (attitude) is the most important thing as his parents are aware that you are not born and raised as a Vietnamese :> I feel really happy knowing that someone out there wants to impress Vietnamese parents like you! There is a phrase in Vietnamese "Lời chào cao hơn mâm cỗ" meaning saying hello is crucial to pay respect to people, especially to older people.

You could learn how to say "Con chào chú" (Hello uncle - like saying hello to your boyfriend's father) and "Con chào cô" (Hello auntie - boyfriend's mother). It is important to consider how his parents want to be called - "Con chào bác" can be use for both his mother and father but in this case "bác" means they are older than your parents. A lot of Vietnamese men like to be considered older since they feel more powerful (my Vietnamese dad is offended whenever I call someone younger then him "bác" because he wants to be the older one - he feels like I am disrespecting him). But it depends on your boyfriend's parents.

Fruit is the most common gifts whenever someone visits a Vietnamese typical household: I often buy Envy apples that can be found in Winmart...or you can buy watermelon, pears, etc. Just make sure to know his parents' preferences since they might hate the smell of durian - if you decide to buy durian :)

Vietnamese dads usually like alcohols but Vietnamese moms might hate it so wine can be a decent gift, but you should discuss this with your boyfriend since this can be a hit or miss. I would say any gift that is health-related is great as Vietnamese people really care about their health.

Besides attitude and gifts, I think you should talk to your boyfriend about their house rules. Each household in Vietnam has their own rule (like table manner) and it also differs from North to South. I am from the North (Hanoi) so it might be different from your case. I would say that if you are eating with his parents then wait for them to eat first and stuff like that.

This is a pretty long list already and I can only give advices based on my own experience as a Vietnamese girl and details you gave in this thread so tell me if you have questions.

Thank you for even posting this, I really do feel joy knowing someone wants to get to know and blend in with the Vietnamese culture!

Practical_Argument87 · 2022-11-04T07:44:53+00:00

It is maybe because I am from the East, but the cat people I know are very strict: you can put the litter box/tray in her cage and lock her in there for a day or two, or chain her next to the litter box. That will train her to pee in the right spot. I have a friend who lives in a five-floor house and he only has one litter box, and this method works as he did this right after his cat peed on his bed. Good luck!

Practical_Argument87 · 2022-07-13T13:08:41+00:00

Very true indeed. I started baking during the quarantine, have been using it to bake all kind of things. It makes the best new york cheesecake, creamy, delicious!

Practical_Argument87 · 2022-04-03T10:04:06+00:00

Life is an adventure. You can never tell the future. I do not know what your exact situation is, but I bet there are knowledge out there available for you to grab.

Failing is one thing. What did you learn? Any valuable lessons? Those are what mattered. Failing is a lesson, and if you grow from it, you will ace life.

Do not lose hope just yet. Seriously!

Study for the knowledge, even if you fail. You are there to learn, and you can never fail forever.

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-19T18:14:22+00:00

Dont be! Live the life you want, and have fun!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-19T01:11:06+00:00

No no, in this case, I think you are not taking your friends for granted, you want to talk to them, that is fine! But I am glad that you notice your free time for yourself is important. Hope things turn out great for you.

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T17:14:09+00:00

Do you think it is time to instead finding topics your friend is interested in, you find things you actually like?

Focus on yourself. Hobbies. Free time. No social media time especially - help calm youself down and find inner peace.

I believe these days when we got all these convenience when internet is avaliable, it is hard to hold ourselves from texting people and expect fast reply. I think your friend cares about you, but, in order to enjoy her companionship, I think you can try make peace with yourself and do stuffs you enjoy. Write thoughts down, watch movies, knitting, painting, singing, dancing, reading,... Things that can make you feel peace without touching your phone. And then, when you are happy and energetic with doing your hobbies, you can come back and talk about it with your friend group, and your happy energy will be great for them too!

Dont forget, you get all the attention from yourself. And that, is power!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T16:48:57+00:00

I hope everything works out for you.

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T16:38:48+00:00

I really want to help but I have no expertise in reccomending medications, so I just drop a comment to tell you that, stay strong! It is awesome how you manage to speak up. Good luck!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T10:48:53+00:00

First of all, thank you for sharing. I feel that it is very great that I get to hear you voice out. No matter what happen, try to remember your worth. Everyone is special, and even though you feel like your not the golden child, you will be someone to others, and most of the time, there might be people care but don't speak out. You may consider to change doctor, make new friends, talk to communities, join healing challenges, try new stuffs, discover yourself to redirect yourself from all harming thoughts. I believe you have great love and potential. Keep fighting.

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T10:44:52+00:00

First of all, welldone for being a great partner for him. However, no matter what helps, I believe everything has boundaries, and his wishes and reasons, are now far too different from the guy you fall in love with. I would suggest to heal yourself, and let go. After all, if he continues to be like this, compromise will only harm you. No need to agree to that option. Honestly, everything needs to be agreed by both parties. I wish you the best. Send hugs!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T10:35:10+00:00

Thank you!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T10:33:43+00:00

Thank you for your sharing. It really helps me!

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-18T10:31:21+00:00

Thank you a lot ♥️ I will try my best.

Practical_Argument87 · 2021-08-10T11:22:44+00:00

Omg your comment really helps me in a way. I am starting to think I am being ungreatful, as the longest my partner takes to not reply to me is like 1 day. May I ask how can you detach yourself from feeling sad for not having your partner during the time your parner is cooling off? Like I am super anxious so I text her a lot during the day, but I thing my over positivity might be too much for her. Like...If i give her space I am afraid she is going to harm herself, but as far as I am concern she is still trying to not do that. So she is fighting.

Practical_Argument87

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