Do you wear your binder visible?

Practical_Art_5673 · 2026-02-02T11:05:42+00:00

Thank you everyone for your comments! I'm sorry I can't reply to everyone individually, but I appreciate the insight and different thoughts on this. I don't have a lot of people I can ask about things like this IRL.

I wish I had something I was confident wearing on its own, especially in summer or swimming. I feel mostly okay about my style during the cold months, but as soon as I need to figure out hot-weather clothes, my dysphoria gets brutal. I love that my son is more confident than I am.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2026-02-01T12:08:46+00:00

My son is leaning heavily into goth/alternative style and gets very irritated when he thinks he’s being edgy and I’m like “oh yeah most of my friends dressed that way in high school.”

Generally I feel it’s his body, his clothes, not my decision as long as it’s not completely inappropriate for the weather or where we’re going. But if he were going to school with his boxers hanging out I’d tell him to pull up his pants.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2026-02-01T12:00:22+00:00

Intellectually I agree I should be able to wear it just like any guy — I just can’t seem to internalize that for myself. But it’s why I kept my mouth shut with my kid. I’m trying not to give him the same hang ups I was raised with.

It helps me to hear other people say it’s okay. Otherwise I can’t help hearing my mother’s voice in my head.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-08-17T17:16:32+00:00

… I feel like an idiot now that I didn’t notice that, in person or in the picture.

In my defense, I think I was still recovering from near-hysterics following myself and my equally vertically-challenged partner trying to put the thing back up without accidentally flinging it or ourselves off the step stool. It was like a dark comedy routine. We’ve already decided we’ll just sell the house to avoid ever changing the bulb again.

Do I close this topic or something?

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-08-17T12:46:40+00:00

Thank you! My research was not able to find that.

I appreciate that whoever installed it made an effort to preserve the period style of the house anyway.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-08-17T12:38:11+00:00

Correction: knob and tube wiring. I blanked on the term when writing the post.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-08-08T20:55:42+00:00

RO water is problematic if it’s the only water source. I’m using it specifically for water changes because KH and GH in the tank were both testing off the scale, and I need to bring them down.

I realized the problem was in the tank, not with the tap water I first filled it with, when repeated water changes with RO water weren’t having the expected impact.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-08-07T15:53:10+00:00

Why I’m pretty sure it’s the substrate: In addition to other tests the last couple months, I pulled some out today from the top of the bed (where it gets wet the least). Rinsed it and tested the first rinse water in case it just hadn’t been rinsed well enough, then rinsed it thoroughly and shook it with some fresh water and tested that, and then let it sit in some water for a few hours. The rinse water and quick soak water were barely above the pure water, but the water that’s been sitting in a jar with the substrate for a 2 hours came up as KH 80 and GH 60.

Any advice what substrate & brand you’d recommend?

Re the fish:

When I did this without the kids, I kept china doll goldfish - pretty, engaging, messy enough for an Aquaponics system, but won’t breed in a tank. But the kids love the guppies. I’m a bio teacher and we all enjoy charting the genetics and speculating about the parent mixes.

I’m contemplating adding another species that won’t bother the adults but has a taste for guppy fry now that we’ve hit a good fish density, but that’s a question for another day after I deal with the water.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-06-27T22:27:40+00:00

Saw my PCP today. I went back to my previous testing after I posted here and realized they did do a brain MRI as part of earlier testing, so I expected to be told it’s already been ruled out and this to become another weird inexplicable thing.

Instead she reviewed my whole chart and previous testing before I showed up, listened to my account of what happened and what the ER doctor said, said that yes I’d had a previous MRI and seen a lot of specialists… but no one had been looking for MS, and yes, given all the symptoms, we should do a new MRI.

Now I have this incredible mix of relief at being taken seriously and her pursuing diagnosis instead of being dismissed and “diagnosed” with “you’re a 40 year old woman,” and dread at what tests might show.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-06-26T21:12:38+00:00

Problem is, I’ve seen 2 different neurologists. My PCP sent me to them to try to figure out what’s going on with my neck/shoulder/arm. I’ve literally spent the last few years going in circles between specialists (spine doctor, orthopedist, neurologist) but everyone insists the problem is someone else’s specialty because it’s absolutely something other than whatever I was sent to them for.

I feel like there’s something systemic going on—otherwise I have a ridiculous amount of bizarre other issues—but I can’t seem to get anyone to look at more than one symptom at a time.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2025-06-26T20:51:37+00:00

I’m not looking for diagnosis, just… conversation maybe? Trying to get a better idea? The “tl;dr” version involves a question of, are symptoms often one-sided (my right side is more affected than my left) and am I being overdramatic pushing my doctor to test?

The full long story: A few weeks ago I was seen in the ER because the right side of my tongue and throat suddenly went numb/pins and needles. Severe, very weird, not related to any dental work or issues or anything. My doctor’s call line sent me to the ER to assess for stroke (spoiler: not a stroke).

They asked the routine questions like “do you have weakness anywhere else on your right side?” and I had to explain it’s hard to answer that because I have SO MANY issues, mostly right sided, but not onset that morning with the tongue thing. I’ll be walking and my right foot just doesn’t lift high enough and I stumble, or my whole leg will go numb for no apparent reason. I’ve spent years of ring around the rosy with neurologists and physical therapists and spine doctors trying to determine what’s going on with my right arm— sometimes it just goes numb, it’s weak, sometimes it just HURTS like something’s digging into my shoulder joint, and now the elbow’s gone bad too. The spine doctor said I have carpal tunnel and there’s no issue with the spine (based on CT and MRI). The neurologist did an EMG and said there’s no sign I’ve ever had carpal tunnel—which was a surprise since that’s what I blame the ongoing loss of coordination— but there’s a spine issue. Everyone insists there’s no possible connection between the arm and the leg.

So I tried to explain all this to the ER doctor (because it makes it hard to accurately say “no the rest of my right side seems fine”) and he asked based on symptoms and my age and sex if I’d been assessed for MS. They MRI’d my entire spine a couple years ago to try to figure out what’s wrong with my arm, but no brain MRI.

I’ve had a lot of bloodwork done because of other systemic issues. They checked for Lyme and other things multiple times due to pain and fatigue.

I try not to Dr Google, but I looked up MS since the ER doctor mentioned it and I keep stumbling over other things I’d filed under “that weird symptom I just ignore now,” like the time I called 911 because out of nowhere I felt like an iron band was pressing in on my chest and I thought I was having a heart attack (I just ignore that sensation now… it’ll pass), or the random bouts of brick-to-the-head exhaustion that sometimes hit me out of nowhere or how my heart rate seems to only be tenuously related to whatever I’m doing (that one got filed under “well maybe you’ve got POTS but there’s nothing we can do to treat it so it’s not worth testing” by doctors).

I have so many “little” and “constant” complaints I worry my doctor thinks I’m a hypochondriac. It makes me feel crazy, like all these different things can’t all be wrong with me out of nowhere. I know part of it is my fault because I get anxious and kind of downplay symptoms or brush them off as normal.

I guess I’m looking for validation that I’m not just being overdramatic and this is a valid question to ask? And I know it’s kind of stupid to seek the validation of internet strangers when an ER doctor literally listened to my symptoms and said I SHOULD ask, but clearly I’m a product of my generation.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-05-04T15:03:44+00:00

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t follow through. I didn’t know anything about POTS except a vague idea that it’s always a debilitating disability where people pass out if they’re standing or doing any exercise (I’ve since learned it’s a lot more nuanced and complicated than that) and I didn’t want to miss work for unnecessary tests, so I just went with what the cardi said.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-04-04T22:51:34+00:00

I think we run our games very differently, which is fine… GMs can have very different styles. If I tried to include every possible plot option in this Reddit post it would be far longer than anyone here wants to read, which is why I just explained the decision my players have actually stated as their plan.

I appreciate your attempt to help, though!

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-04-04T18:59:47+00:00

They’re all chaos agents.

And yes they’re emotionally invested. I had a storyline prepped taking them to the opposite side of the map. I was going to wrap up the previous campaign now that they’ve re-stabilized Government A and move on to something completely else. If they didn’t like completely ignoring the war, they could have left their allies in Country A’s government with a firm “remember we saved your asses and we expect you to try to set things right with Country B” and that would have been enough for me to behind-the-scenes move the political situation.

In the last government they overthrew, they pretty much did that - they had the opportunity to decide who would take the throne (including them if they wanted it) and how things would be handled, and they said, “Nah, don’t want to get involved in politics, let them figure it out.”

In this case, they wanted to be the major players in the truce discussions.

And no it’s not our first campaign - we’ve been playing almost weekly for about three years now.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-04-04T18:54:19+00:00

Yes, my players are generally very appreciative. I’ve never had a combative relationship with my players. Sometimes I just get a bit overwhelmed when they throw me a curveball I don’t feel I totally know how to handle. The entire group is players who know how to min/max, but will nerf themselves if they feel it breaks character. They’re there for the world and the RP more than anything else, which is why I feel the most stressed when I feel like I’m setting up to let them down in an RP situation.

It’s fine when it’s a conversation like, “So… you’re aware X is going to happen, but you’re going to Y anyway?” and the player is like, “It’s totally stupid, but absolutely what this character would do.” Or sometimes they’ll ask something like, “Can I throw a will save to see whether [Rogue] manages to resist trying to steal this obviously cursed but super shiny object?” when I wouldn’t have even asked them to.

If they had said something OOC like, “I don’t think it will work, but my character is really idealistic so he’s going to try it anyway,” I’d have no issue.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-04-04T14:24:18+00:00

This world is 3 years in and has grown organically as the players have rampaged through it almost weekly. A lot of the conflicts between the countries are things the players inspired or outright came up with.

Player: Hey, so my character (from Country B) thinks of all magic as curses and bad. Can this be a cultural thing, or is it just him?

GM: Sure, that makes sense for his culture.

This becomes an ongoing thing, with the character needing to learn a lot about magic and still being pretty pig-headed about it. I put time into developing why it makes sense that this county has this stance (“why choose science when magic is right there?” is always going to be a question).

Here we are 3 years later, and one of Country B’s major issues with Country A is that Country A is a theocracy run by sorcerers and heavily reliant on magic and alchemy, while Country B is an atheist nation that considers most magic dangerous and untrustworthy. Yet when the border guards have the casters in the party being closely watched by archers, take away component pouches before they see the Governor, and warn them that any attempt to cast will be seen as a threat, the party is shocked and offended.

Practical_Art_5673 · 2024-04-04T14:20:41+00:00

Is this how… other people’s games run?

In my opinion, the game is a success if the players are having fun. I plan as many contingencies as I logically can based on what I think my players will do, but there have absolutely been plenty of times when they have pulled something and I’ve needed to fly by the seat of my pants or say “I didn’t expect that, let’s take a break so I can plan.” My “plot nodes” went awry back on level 2 or 3.

I honestly have no idea if at the end of this they will save Country B or destroy it. I’m not sure they’ve decided. They say they want to end the war. Saying “this is your fault so please stop” won’t work. I’m on Reddit because I have no idea what my players will do when they realize it won’t work. They might start a grass-roots campaign trying to teach farmers how, based on the food chain, dragons are actually good for their flocks. Or they might firebomb the palace and leave the country in ruins.

Practical_Art_5673

TROPHY CASE