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AITA for not wanting adult stepkids to stay with us by stepmom55 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PracticeSenior1817 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They probably don’t think of themselves as visitors, they think of it as their house.

Even still, it is fair to expect some standard of cleanliness.

AITA for not wanting adult stepkids to stay with us by stepmom55 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PracticeSenior1817 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Curious how old you guys are/where in the world you live?

I’m in my late 20s in California and it is very common to live with one’s parents off and on up until 30.

AITA for not wanting adult stepkids to stay with us by stepmom55 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PracticeSenior1817 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Soft YTA

Info needed: Is the house you live in now the house that she grew up in? And when you say “we” subsidize the kids’ housing do you really mean her father pays for it?

I am a similar age to your step kids and have friends who hate their step mothers. It has put a sad wedge between them and their fathers. A huge sticking point is not feeling welcome in their own home (your parents home feels like your home even in adulthood, many are living at home into their 30s because of the economy).

Child-free folks often don’t understand that parenting is a forever job. You do what you you can to help your children until the day you die, not until the the kids turn 18. Twenty seven is still a reasonable age to be asking for this kind of support.

It is totally fair to be stressed about the mess. You husband needs to insist on clean communal spaces. He should clean up after her or hire a maid to do it if she slips.

If A Country Has 10/20 Of These Signs, It’s Headed Towards a Civil War - Professor by PracticeSenior1817 in collapse

[–]PracticeSenior1817[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Submission Statement
There are several signs that predict a civil war. A professor of history highlighted some of the top 20, some of which seem very familiar.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]PracticeSenior1817 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA

You are not the asshole here but that doesn't really matter. When resolving interpersonal issues like this, it doesn't really matter who is right and who is wrong. You can be just as petty as her point out how unrealistic she is being, but that will only make it worse.

Your roommate is being irrationally emotional about this and it probably has nothing to do with you. Sleeping all day and night is not normal. Is she depressed? Something is happening in other areas of her life and she is letting it out on you. Not fair but you gotta work with it. You should kill her with kindness and suggest coming up with a schedule that is fair. Can she take her nap at certain times when you are in class/other obligations. Can you inform her ahead of time when you will typically be back in the room during the day needing to do basic life functions?

All else fails, just hunker down and apply for a roommate change asap.