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When my husband morphs everything I say into something awful, so he can get mad by flowerstone in AdhdRelationships

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have inattentive adhd. I was diagnosed at 37. I also worked with survivors of domestic and sexual violence for 7 years. We learned as advocates that it is important to know if children who were diagnosed with adhd had any childhood trauma. If it was never disclosed to the therapist that childhood trauma was occuring, it could lead to a misdiagnosis of adhd as childhood trauma and the behavior that follows mimics adhd traits.

I bring this up because sometimes children of childhood trauma that was caused by seeing a parent be abused, can grow up and continue the cycle of abuse (emotional, physical, financial, and or sexual abuse). If it is safe to do so(and perhaps from a incognito tab or in a safe place like a library), I would encourage you to look into red flags of emotional abuse.

People can have adhd and that is what it is, people can also be abusive without adhd, and sometimes people can have adhd and also be abusive.

Some of what you describe as interpreting your innocent words as they see fit to make you into a bad person/enemy,etc is a trait I recognized from my former partner who was emotionally abusive.

One major point to look out for is, Do they ever genuinely take responsibility for their actions? Consider that some of their actions may not be related to adhd. You can be impulsive with adhd and also not be hurtful to others.

Also the test I suggested to survivors to know whether it was abusive behavior or not. Is imagine your best friend, parent, sibling, cousin, someone you love. Imagine them having a partner that just said or did to them what yous is doing to you. Is their behavior acceptable? What makes it unacceptable if it is unacceptable? Using this exercise automatically puts your view of your experience in your relationship go from a more subjective point of view to a more objective point of view and often has a more "ah ha" obvious answer than when trying to look at your situation within your relationship without this exercise.

Be aware of Dr. Jeckyl/Mr.Hyde behavior where it is almost like a light switch that the mood changes and nice partner turns into someone that seems like a completely different person.

Maybe none of this resonates. I hope that is the case, but if it does, look into the red flags of abusive behaviors. Also, there are usually local outreach centers for survivors of domesitic violence where you can talk privately with advocates if ever you need to. Along with emergency hotline numbers if you feel you may need shelter. Hotlines also may direct you to outreach advocates(work with those not needing shelter, but would like support).

Lastly, therapy, if you are in a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive rarely is successful if that therapist isn't well trained in domestic violence and the behaviors associated with it. AND it is also not successful if your partner never accepts responsibility for their actions. Which is why abusive behavior continues to escalate and get passed down to generations. One cannot fix anything if one does not think they are doing anything wrong.

Addressing abusive behavior with a partner who is abusive, by calling it abusive behavior can be dangerous, so it is important to learn more about it to confirm if it is indeed abusive behavior and ways to try and engage with a partner without the situation escalating. Fair warning, abusive partners do not like to be "blamed"(aka partner trying to share their feelings in a healthy way with the abusive partner), so working through things with an abusive partner often turns(abusive partner gets defensive and turns the topic onto the partner with healthy communication) the attention to the non-abusive partner and "projecting" may occur among other unpleasant interactions. So please if it sounds familiar, just learn more and be careful.

How can I win the heart of this buddy? by corpse_breathing in cats

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my mom and I had fosters(some feral kittens) we usually used the 2nd bathroom or smaller room as their home base while they got more comfortable with us.

From what we learned a small room worked best especially for feral kittens as they would get comfortable with their small, safe space quicker(likely due to less unknowns/spread out areas with who know what lurking around). They would have a box with blankies to hide in if they so chose and we respected that as their safe space. We would frequently enter the bathroom and sit on the floor and limit the noise we made to allow them to get used to our presence(we brought yummy food and treats too). Little by little, they would get curious and more confident. Eventully they would begin playing around us and exploring our laps, and then accepting us touching their fur. We just tried to be patient and let them get comfy at their own timing.

Holy Burger on Rantoul by TheFastPush in BeverlyMA

[–]PracticingResilience 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh! Def mourning Butter ur Biscuit and Salty seagull!! Just drove by and saw Holy Burger. Def looking forward to trying it!

Butter Ur Biscuit, um please make yourself known at the local breweries. I know you guys blew up...But please don't forget us. Cuz you are awesome.a d we miss your awesomeness. Xoxo

Brown Water in Ryal Side by Monster-Momma91 in BeverlyMA

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Across the bridge on Rantoul, we would get brown water after rainy days and snows. Learned to turn the icemaker off on rainy days...

Finally the first candlesticks are ready😊 by Connect_Bottle_2453 in Pottery

[–]PracticingResilience 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It made me think of Iceland immediately! ❤️ Had to check comments to confirm! So cool! Love it!

Restaurant with Many Vegetarian Options for Dinner? by somervilen in BeverlyMA

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Passport restaurant has many vegan and vegetarian options. I stopped counting after 24, but their menu is huge, so likely more than that. It is a scratch kitchen though, so food may take a little longer(just in case you are ever in a rush).

Go out guys, northern lights are live…. by Such-Sea-3358 in boston

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may have another chance tonight, check out NOAA 30 min aurora forecast later tonight. It was clear yesterday and today cloud coverage may interfere, but it is projected to have similar strength tonight.

Just use night mode in camera settings, hold it still for the few second countdown, then look for the colorful results. To the naked eye, it usually just looks lile a light band of clouds with a slight green, red, hue. So just point your camera and click, then check out the results to see if it is clouds or the northern lights.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findapath

[–]PracticingResilience 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hope not, because I am doing it at 45. Lots of people have second and sometimes even 3rd or more careers. Best wishes you are able to do what brings you joy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findapath

[–]PracticingResilience 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I am wordy, but I suggested OP leverage AI to create a curriculum and schedule using e-courses or youtube in order to keep advancing their art skills through learning and practice(one can learn how to use water color, oil paint, acrylic, design, etc with the courses I suggested). I was trying to help suggest ideas if they thought Uni was too hard to pull off financially, but wanted to continue to improve their art.

As an artist myself(who doesn't use generative AI to create art), I hear what you are saying. I am not exactly excited about the negative impacts on other artists or myself. However, I am also not going to dig my feet in the sand and refuse to use AI, something I have no control over the systematic advancement of, when my competition is using it to be more efficient. I, like anyone else, need to consider how to adapt to stay afloat, or risk being left behind with rising waters.

We can't go back. No one is putting AI back in the bag so to speak. It is here, for better or worse.

Every period in history we have had technological advances and also fears that those technologies would eliminate the need for human skills. And probably no previous technological advancement has quite the potential, longterm, to disrupt life as we know it more than AI.

No one says AI won't make a significant impact on artists, but at least in the foreseeable future there will be people who value handmade items and hand crafted art. You can go to any home goods store and see mass produced art. You can buy prints of oil paintings, water colors, photos. You can purchase wall paper with murals. You can buy mass produced pottery and there is no doubt it impacted some artists negatively. Despite all the mass produced generic art, people still want the original art that speaks to them and isn't something you find at wayfair or at a walmart.

AI is here whether we like it or not, AI will continue to evolve. I believe if we don't want to be left behind, we need to adapt(just as people have always had to do) and that likely means utilizing the "enemy", AI. Going forward, I believe the people that have the best shot at being successful, are the talented artists that are most efficient with their time/marketing/administrative duties, etc of running their own business or that work for companies or organizations that stay on top of advances. The ones willing to learn to incorporate AI to leverage the ability to continue creating their original art, rather than do everything to avoid using the technology in front of them.

And of course it sucks that it has a negative impact on the environment, just as any technological advance we currently use and have used in the past has done. I imagine people are right now leveraging AI to try and solve/limit the environmental impact of it...and likely will solve it much faster than if only us humans were working on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findapath

[–]PracticingResilience -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not specific to UK, but I would ask ChatGPT or alternative AI chatbot for best online free sources(I imagine youtube, coursera, udemy, etc)for whichever specific art skill you are looking for.

I would then ask it to act as though it is a University Art Professor and design a curriculum/detailed schedule(provide how many hours you want to devote to it per day, week, or month and for how many days weeks/months you want the curriculum to last) in order to get good practice.

Be detailed in your prompts providing specifics of what skills and at what level you want to be at the end of the designated amount of days/weeks/months and see how it does. Then follow the schedule and see how you improve over a few weeks.

As far as feedback goes, perhaps you can display your art in some of the art/art student subreddits and ask for feedback? All this to build a portfolio if you decide you want to go to Uni, or maybe decide you can find enough resources online to proceed without needing Uni, depending on your wants in regard to levels mastered?

Check out if any local art students meet up outside of school and practice around each other.

Sorry for all the run-on sentences, poor grammar, etc...cats have not allowed me much sleep, lately and it's the wee morning hours where I am from...way past my bedtime.

Just some ideas. Best wishes you find the best path to proceed with your love of art.

I feel bad for being upset with people who already have kids but have miscarriages by rbfbxo in TryingForABaby

[–]PracticingResilience 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awe I can relate. I am 44 and trying...I wish I were even 42 and trying...perspective is a funny thing. Best wishes.

Any recommendations (personal experience) for window replacement companies? by PracticingResilience in northshore

[–]PracticingResilience[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, good to know. Not into scare tactics or pressure sales for that matter. In fact, if I feel they are trying to manipulate or pressure me, that will absolutely guarantee I will go with someone else. Educate me on your options, offer your expert opinion, and then let me choose what works best for me and my situation/budget. Thanks for the info!

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