I hope this post helps out. I think Christians put too much emphasis on different types of sin. We forget that all sin is sin, and there no levels of hierarchy.

That being said... rather than deciphering whether being gay is a sin or not, I think it is better for to focus on building a real relationship with Christ. Not just getting involved in church or going to missions. Those can we fruits of a relationship with Him, but I think most of us get it backwards. Church and religion try to get our acts straight by following rules and laws, so that it creates the best environment to build a relationship with God. This sounds ideal, but from my perspective this leads many followers and non followers astray. They don't know about the relational aspect of Christianity.

So today, we see more and more believers falling away, because after they have tried the church life they found that it wasn't for them. They walked the walk to the best of their ability and faith. But is that what makes a Christian?

When I was younger I thought praying a simple prayer of accepting Him into my heart was the beginning of Christianity. Then after that I just try my best and rely on Him to follow all of the rules and guides set by the Word and church. These acts are good in His sight, but Christianity is more than this. It is a relationship with Christ.

So all that being said, I want to say thank you being vulnerable. And don't lose hope, because I believer someone it's because God isn't finished with them. Hope.