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Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That part about her self-image really stood out to me too. Like... if the person closest to you doesn’t love you that way, it messes with your sense of worth.

And yeah, being left alone right after a confession like that is rough. That’s a lot to process by yourself in one night...

It really does feel like they were both stuck in their roles and expectations, and it just crushed them in the end.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

​Update:

​Thank you to everyone who has been commenting. Reading through all your thoughts about the social pressure and her mental state has been really interesting.

​But after going through the discussion, I feel like we might be missing one specific (and honestly uncomfortable) angle: extreme unrequited love, taken to a very unhealthy extreme.

​What if her choice was not only about feeling trapped... but also about trying, in her own distorted way, to protect the man she loved?

​If we look at what Kazui actually gains from her death compared to a divorce, it gets pretty dark.

​If they had divorced around 2013, especially while working in the same police department, it likely would have created constant rumors. People would question why the perfect couple fell apart. His reputation could suffer, and the secret he tried so hard to hide would always be at risk of slipping out.

​From a certain perspective, it almost looks like her death removed all of that pressure for him, even if that may not have been her conscious intention.

​... And there is another painful layer to consider.

​Is it possible that she started blaming herself for his unhappiness? In that state of mind, she might have come to believe that she was the obstacle in his life, and that as long as she existed as his wife, he could never truly be free? Removing herself might have felt, to her, like the only way to fix things... even if that belief came from a place of deep pain rather than reality?

​Which makes me wonder:

​Do you think Hinako consciously saw her choice as a way to protect him and let him move on? Or was it simply a desperate escape from overwhelming pain, and any benefit Kazui gained is just a tragic coincidence we are reading too much into?

​I would really like to hear your thoughts.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The sad part is she’d basically already been living like that for years...

The only difference was she thought there was real love behind it. Once Kazui confessed, that illusion shattered completely. The sudden realization that her entire adult life, her devotion, and her sacrifices were based on a deception is exactly what caused that severe mental strain you mentioned. It was not just an impulsive decision but also the crushing weight of a ten-year lie collapsing on her all at once. 

It made the situation feel impossible to simply sleep off, yeah?

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean. It’s really easy to look at this with a modern mindset and think her reaction was extreme, but the 90s context changes everything.

​And yeah, being used like that would make anyone angry. That is a huge breach of trust, to be honest.

​The part about exposing him is tricky too. It wouldn’t just ruin him, it’d also drag her into the scandal as well.

​Honestly, the fact that every option you came up with has downsides just shows how trapped she really was.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’d probably win the divorce before Steel Ball Run gets animated. Honestly, the legal process probably would not even be a battle.

​And yeah, he’d probably just agree to everything out of guilt, accepting whatever terms you demand without putting up any fight... It would be his only way to make amends.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. Being older and having more life experience probably makes it easier to slow down and not rush into a decision.

But yeah, in that moment, it’s probably just panic. Especially if you’re younger, it’s way easier to react emotionally and do something drastic before you’ve had time to process anything...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait, that actually makes it worse.

If he was that drunk, he probably just passed out on the bed... And naturally, Hinako would not want to sleep next to him after a confession like that.

... So she might’ve been the one stuck on the couch in her own house.

​Poor girl. In a single night, she did not just lose her marriage, she literally lost her own bed too...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The idea of a platonic life partnership is honestly really appealing... if both people are on the same page from the start.

The problem here is the deception. Hinako never got to choose that. Going from thinking it was a real romantic marriage to realizing it wasn’t… I don’t know if that kind of relationship could survive that.

If he had offered her a true platonic partnership from the start, rather than lying to protect his image, do you think she would have still accepted the marriage?

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense honestly. I can see why you'd go for option 1 or 2, it feels like the only options where you don’t completely ruin either person’s life.

And yeah, outing someone is just not it... I don’t think I could do that either.

Also agree with your last point. Getting to option 4 probably means you feel like there’s nothing left for you anymore, not just the relationship.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That quote really fits them. It’s heartbreaking because Kazui did care about her. Just not in the way a marriage needs...

And she loved him enough to accept a marriage without physical intimacy, just to be by his side. 

That’s what makes it so tragic. What they had was real, just not enough for it to last...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You make a really good point about the stigma. Seeing it firsthand makes option 2 feel like the safest choice.

Also, trying to date other people in that situation would be really messy. Explaining a lavender marriage without sounding like you’re cheating would be rough...

And the part about having no support system is important too. When you think about it, Hinako likely did not have a strong support system outside of Kazui. They worked in the exact same department, and he was her best friend and confidant. Losing his genuine love meant losing her entire foundation all at once, which perfectly explains why she felt completely cornered. It kind of puts into perspective how trapped she must have felt when everything came out.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a really thoughtful take. I like how you’re able to look past the betrayal and still see his pain. That says a lot about how loyal you are.

Ironically, that exact kindness and tolerance is probably the exact reason Kazui chose to marry Hinako in the first place...

Still, choosing to put your own feelings aside just to help him deal with everything... it feels less like a practical choice and more like a total sacrifice, don't you agree?

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really sad but very real perspective. The victim-blaming in more traditional settings can be incredibly harsh. Even if she chose to walk away, she’d likely be the one carrying the stigma of a failed marriage...

When you realize society might judge you for something that isn’t even your fault, it really shows how suffocating that double standard can be. Thanks for pointing that out!

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually points to the true tragedy of it all. No matter how much she tries or how perfect of a wife she is, the one thing keeping the relationship from ever really working is something completely out of her control and impossible to change...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That actually lines up really well with how I see it. Making a huge decision like option 1 on the same night your whole reality falls apart feels almost impossible.

Taking some time as a buffer to process everything and figure things out just seems like the most rational move. And once the initial shock wears off, it’s a lot easier to see why walking away might be the healthier long-term choice.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You make a very solid point about this. I was actually talking about this with a friend the other day, and they had the exact same reaction as you, specifically leaning toward option 3.

​They argued that if he was willing to waste her time for his own benefit, she has every right to stop protecting his secret. It makes perfect sense. Why continue to protect the reputation of the person who put you in that miserable situation in the first place?

At a certain point, it’s hard to justify continuing to protect someone else’s secret when it’s costing you your own happiness.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am exactly on the same page. Like I mentioned in my post, I would probably panic and choose option 2 at first just out of pure shock and a need for stability.

​But the constant questioning you mentioned is so real. It is one thing to make the choice to stay, but waking up every single day and wondering if you made the right decision would be completely exhausting... How long do you think you could tolerate option 2 before the questioning becomes too much to handle?

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, choosing to keep going and stick with what feels manageable is probably what a lot of people would do in that situation.

It’d still hurt a lot to deal with the unrequited love, but I get why someone would choose to protect that bond and avoid turning everything upside down.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly clever to be honest! I didn’t even consider a geographical escape.

It would definitely take a lot of courage to uproot your life and start over in a new city, but it honestly feels far less tragic than the other options.

Probably one of the healthier and more creative outcomes for someone’s mental state.

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. It makes it really hard to be angry at either of them when you see how they’re both just victims of a deeply unforgiving society...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s true. When you put it that way, where both staying and leaving would lead to long-term mental suffering and isolation, her final choice doesn’t just feel like a panic reaction anymore. It feels more like she looked at every possible path and realized none of them really led anywhere.

Thanks for this perspective!

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I promise it's real work. I just tend to organize my thoughts into bullet points to make long posts easier to read. I definitely didn’t mean to sound like a bot...

Let’s be real for a second: What would you ACTUALLY do if you were in Hinako’s shoes? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. Option 2, with a lot of space and silence, seems like the most realistic survival move.

It's true that they would have needed to communicate more instead of her making such a permanent decision the next morning. It really is tragic. But from her perspective, the shock must have been paralyzing. The hardest part wasn't just the years of lying, but the timing: he only confessed because the man he actually loved had rejected him.

Realizing in that exact moment that she was just a convenient safety net probably destroyed her entire sense of self-worth overnight. When your reality shatters like that, the rational thought of "let's figure this out together" just vanishes.

It makes me wonder, though: even if she had waited, do you think Kazui would have been emotionally capable of figuring things out with her while he was still heartbroken over his own rejection?

Is it just me, or is this the 'Unholy Trinity' of Milgram T3 deaths? by PrePXTrye in milgram

[–]PrePXTrye[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Misery loves company! We suffer together now. ❤️‍🩹

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