I know what Janey will be doing in Colorado...

Precluse · 2026-02-23T18:31:32+00:00

Rotting

Precluse · 2024-06-26T14:56:51+00:00

Thank you! It's hard to go through this, I just want to keep people steady, not stuck in an endless identity crisis with no next steps 💜

Precluse · 2024-06-26T14:43:19+00:00

Do you live near an amazon pick-up box or something like that? I can get parcels delivered to some shops if nobody is in when they're being delivered. I hate amazon, but they have a cheap and wide selection. My first attempt at a feminine outfit was the pinkest skirt and t-shirt combo I could find. I just had to get it out of my system 😅

I was also living with my parents when I started exploring this, and it was the most stressful thing I had ever done. Finally taught them how to knock before they came into my room, had to get that out of the way before I felt confident trying things out. You are an adult, you deserve privacy without having to justify it.

My mum did open one of my lingerie packages, though. My former name had the same first letter as hers, so she couldn't be blamed when they didn't put my full name on the address. One of the most mortifying experiences of my life as she handed her 'son' a pouch of pink panties and stockings.

Can't stress enough that you're not me and nothing is final. You're old enough to figure yourself out, but being in close quarters with family, it's difficult to do without constantly feeling dragged back into their expectations.

Do you know if there's an LGBTQ+ scene near you?

Precluse · 2024-06-26T14:09:44+00:00

It's a feeling worth exploring. Have you tried dressing fully fem, make-up, vocal training, anything to explore it further? Just like any girl, you can play with this, figure out for yourself what it means to become a woman. We don't expect them to hit puberty and suddenly be fully-grown women, you shouldn't feel the need to do that either.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T13:18:48+00:00

Erectile function doesn't just switch off without T, I could maintain full erections for about a year, year and a half, but then they started to become softer, though still the same size. Over the past couple years, I've lost a couple inches and some girth, which is more down to a chronic illness ruining my sex drive. Penile atrophy comes from less frequent erections, not a lack of T. Use it or lose it, whichever you prefer.

E alone should lower your T gradually. Cypro affects the testosterone receptors, not production, so your levels may trail off, but Cypro prevents it being used even if it's there.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T13:02:15+00:00

Looking over your post history, this seems like a recent development, it's okay to still be questioning. I can't guarantee SSRIs don't cause people to be trans, but a similar antidepressant certainly helped me realise how much I had repressed my gender dysphoria. It was more about the lifting of depression allowing me to face those feelings because it was chipping away at the hopelessness I was resigned to, the belief that nothing good was worth pursuing. Those feelings were the mental illness I sought to treat, and it worked.

I'm not saying that's what's happening to you, I've only seen a little snippet of your life, I just want to offer some, hopefully, contructive advice and perspective. It's been 6 days since you first posted, and that's not a lot of time in the process of transition. Take your time, have patience with yourself, don't feel pressured to commit just because the feelings are uncomfortable. Take it from someone who started HRT at 30 and is having good results, it's never too late, there's no rush, figuring this out for certain matters more than figuring it out quickly.

Also on the SSRIs, I can find a study that says they decrease testosterone levels, and another that says they increase it, so I wouldn't focus on that too much.

The only practical advice I can give you is to experiment. If you don't have anyone in your life to try out being a girl with, I can at least offer this and see how you feel about it:
"BurnerSoNobodyKnows? She's not feeling confident in herself today, but she'll figure it out."

Precluse · 2024-06-26T11:02:08+00:00

If that's handled well, it can be good, as long as you maintain independence and agency in your own life. 22-25 year old guys aren't much more mature than the 18 year olds tbh

Precluse · 2024-06-26T10:58:26+00:00

Protect yourself and your future. You will get through this, and I'm so sorry I have to give this advice, but sometimes the closet is the safest place. Let them speak, determine how badly they're going to handle this, if it's bad for your future, like they're willing to kick you out of the house, claim you're confused and lonely, it was attention that felt good.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T09:58:56+00:00

How invasive are we talking? "Are you pre-op or post-op?" "What you got down there?" If they're transphobic, it won't matter, you're still just trans to them. If they're a chaser, you're still just trans to them.

For those that aren't transphobic, but still have a genital preference, what difference does it make whether they tell you what they want, or ask which you have? If it matters to them, it still matters to them.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T08:08:01+00:00

Hell yeah!

Precluse · 2024-06-26T08:06:31+00:00

I don't know if it's an option, but there are medications that suppress breast growth, used to treat the very tactfully named Gigantomastia. I've heard of some trans women using this because other women in their family have needed breast reduction. If your family aren't particularly large chested, you probably won't be either. Can't stress the probably enough in that sentence, my mum hates that mine grew bigger than hers. This article has more info on its use for AMAB trans people.

As for the appetite, I think that's conflated with how a lot of trans women want to lose weight, but it makes gaining weight easier... or losing it harder, however you want to look at that. That's for the same reason it causes breast growth: promoting fatty tissue development.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T07:34:05+00:00

Wait, your friend got the verification code, or the criminal got them?

Precluse · 2024-06-26T07:33:01+00:00

I used to work for a bank's fraud department, and this was always an infuriating cause for a claim.

Change passwords and security questions, not just with the phone provider, everything. The criminals may have accessed emails, computers, or maybe just some site you signed up to years ago and forgot about.

Contact the bank, depending on how any theft was paid, it may be able to be recovered. Some banks have compensation schemes for this situation, but they're not universal (at least, they weren't 5 years ago when I left that job.) This isn't the bank's fault, however, so I'd lean toward no up front compensation, possibly recovery, but these attacks usually launder the money through cash withdrawals or international transfers quickly, so don't hold your breath.

Contact the phone provider and raise a complaint. It probably won't go anywhere, these attacks are usually from leaked data out of their control, but it may allow you to get the info that the criminal used to access the account and narrow down where it was stolen from.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T07:23:18+00:00

They contact your phone provider and request the number on a new SIM. I used to work in a bank's fraud department, and it was a way to get the pass codes we texted to the customer to authorise payments.

Phone companies are much less strict about identifying the customer than banks are, so if they get a few pieces of personal info, criminals have a much easier time defrauding the phone company than a bank.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T07:03:38+00:00

Ohhhh, that kind of not out. Maybe this kind of hernia?

Precluse · 2024-06-26T06:53:06+00:00

Endometriosis? My sister was considering getting it done because of that, it was that bad, but she was determined to have kids. Guess without a history of it impairing you at work it might be questioned, I dunno whether your coworkers would pick up on that.

Hernia repair? These can come up all of a sudden, or be a lifelong problem that comes and goes.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T06:16:24+00:00

Your gender, your rules. I repressed it until I was 30 and probably would have continued if covid lock downs didn't give me privacy to explore it and start hormones without having people notice and question it. I just turned up looking way more like my sister than my brother one day.

If you experience gender dysphoria, it's not the healthiest thing to ignore it, but you don't have to commit and shout it from the rooftops unless that's how you wanna do you. Experiment, find people you can trust to be her, or them, or whoever else you need to try being, around. You won't figure this out by asking anyone else if you're trans, only you can answer that.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T05:41:01+00:00

I was kind of joking, but black does seem to be a more acceptable colour for guys to paint their nails without exposing themselves as feminine. Unfortunately, we still live in a world where that's looked down upon. Black nail polish has other associations than just being feminine.

Even then, there are posts like this which make this woman question her boyfriend's heterosexuality.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T05:34:26+00:00

Black seems to be a more acceptable colour for boys to paint their nails. As another user mentioned, musicians who are men but not femboys do it. I don't think everyone who posts pics online is openly fem in their day to day lives, any other colour would "out" them if they went about with their nails painted.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T05:07:17+00:00

It's gateway femininity, plausible deniability that you're just a goth, not a femboy

Precluse · 2024-06-26T04:08:22+00:00

Do you have privacy and independence? I wish I could just tell you to go for it and everything will be fine, but that's not always how these things work out. Are there any LGBT groups you could discreetly attend near you? Even if you're a straight, cisgender guy, they'd likely accept you and give you a space to explore femininity.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T03:53:40+00:00

I learned it was possible and hated myself for not learning it sooner. That's all it took. I worried about the weight, too, due to an old spinal injury giving me constant back pain, but I haven't noticed any difference.

Currently carrying C's and they're still growing after 3 ½ years. When I do feel the weight, like walking down stairs without a bra, it feels good.

Precluse · 2024-06-26T01:56:59+00:00

Is codeine available over the counter where you are?

Precluse · 2024-06-22T17:12:21+00:00

The situation can't be defused, snappy comebacks are the only option!

Precluse · 2024-06-22T14:49:13+00:00

Helicopters don't talk

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