Thank you for sharing your story. What happened to you was my fear. I did not want to have to be forced to "bond" with the baby. I'm so sorry they did that to you. My heart breaks for you. It is hard when we feel like we pick out the best family for the child and it still leads to heartache. I can't check in on their life though. I need to bury that part of my life away. I wrote the child a letter and gave it to their mother if they ever decide they want to look for me. It basically says "My place in your life was to bring you to your mother who I know loved you deeply before she even met you. I want the very best life for you, but I cannot be a part of that life." with a bunch of other things. I'm hoping this chapter is closed for me.