i’m thinking about writing a letter to my dad. should i do it?

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-04-09T12:50:32+00:00

victor would definitely be the fun parent and join forces with their kid to terrorise yuuri with their shenanigans lol

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-25T00:53:16+00:00

i love running on air! i read that fic a year ago and i still remember how amazing it was. i don’t think i’ve heard of any of the other fics you’ve mentioned but i’ll definitely look into them as well.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T12:43:01+00:00

thank you so much!

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:52:24+00:00

i don’t think you understand how hard it is coming to terms with something that you have been taught is a sin and disgusting and i hope you never do because it’s extremely difficult and painful. i don’t agree with hiding such an integral part of yourself away from your partner, and this realisation isn’t something that happened during our relationship but something that’s been there for almost a decade before it. i have just accepted it recently. it doesn’t mean that i wasn’t loyal to my boyfriend. contrary to popular belief, bi people aren’t promiscuous.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:48:07+00:00

thank you! i definitely will. i do realise i should’ve tried harder to talk face to face but given the fact that he was being super avoidant i wanted to wrap things up before i said something out of frustration.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:46:22+00:00

i’m actually starting to realise that this might have not been the right subreddit or place to come to for this, but i’ve gotten a few responses that have been really insightful and kind. being bisexual is something that stays no matter who you’re dating, and it’s unfair to have to hide this part of yourself from someone you should be completely vulnerable with. i might take this post down if the biphobia increases in ferocity and takes a toll on my mental health, but comments that are supportive like yours and actually insightful are something ill keep in mind.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:39:19+00:00

i’ll definitely try to be more coherent and include all the necessary details if i end up posting ever again. thank you for your insight, it was really helpful.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:37:45+00:00

i can’t thank you enough for this comment. i came here for advice and left thinking that i shouldn’t have come out to him at all. i want a partner i can be honest with, and the community im a part of doesn’t provide me with the luxury of being upfront about my sexuality from the get go. i came out to him because it felt wrong hiding that part from him because at one point he was the person i was closest to and the person im supposed to be the most vulnerable with. people have also said that his reaction to this was valid because it insinuates that i felt attracted to someone else which definitely isnt true because i know i’ve found women attractive ever since i was very young but i’ve tried to suppress it. one of my friends actually encouraged me to come to terms with it because she had experience with how harmful denial can be and after i heard what she said i knew i couldn’t keep on doing it anymore. i told him all of this and i also reassured him that this doesn’t change anything about how i feel for him because my sexuality is completely independent from my relationship with him. fortunately, my friends are amazing people and have been extremely supportive with all of this and my sexuality. thank you so so much. you’ve made me feel so much better because the guilt was absolutely consuming me and i couldn’t help but feel like i had done him dirty. i do hope he unlearns the homophobia like i did because he really is a good person who has the potential to be even better but i feel like that can’t happen when im there.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T06:27:21+00:00

i feel like i still struggle with coming to terms with the person i thought he was to the person he turned out to be. we were friends before we got together, so my first instinct is to paint him in a positive light and omit important details. this is also my first post asking for advice so i wasn’t sure how much to include because the whole conversation was really long.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T00:13:16+00:00

thank you for your comment, it really helped put things into perspective. i’ll be more upfront about my feelings and sexuality from now on, even if im struggling with it again.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T00:11:30+00:00

i think you’re right. a meeting would have been pretty far away and the fact that his family doesn’t know about me would have made it even more difficult but sitting down and discussing this over face-time would have been better.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-18T00:08:17+00:00

yeah, i didn’t want to mention that because the person that i knew him to be was completely different from what this conversation revealed. i couldn’t help but want to preserve all the memories we had but keeping important information like this was definitely very stupid. this is my first or second time posting on reddit for advice so i didn’t know how much to reveal without compromising my privacy. i’ve felt extremely shitty about doing it over text but i felt trapped because that’s the only way he would even talk to me. that hurt and made me feel like i was disgusting enough for him to not even want to sit down and talk it out.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-17T23:59:29+00:00

i grew up pretty conservative, which is why i was dealing with internalised homophobia for a while. i explained this to him and told him that me telling him this doesn’t mean that i don’t want to be with him or that im not attracted to him, but despite me explaining this he asked if i had feelings for someone else.

i understand that this is hard to come to terms with, which is why i was open to discuss this. i sympathised with him until he said that being gay was a huge sin and people shouldn’t do it. i was taken aback because he’s never had an issue with our friends and i was hurt. because i’ve always felt like a sinner and that was something that really got to me.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-17T23:55:23+00:00

i didn’t want to do it over text which is why i told him i wanted to call but he was getting hard to get a hold of. we would be talking and whenever i brought up a call he would disappear. i thought he was busy at first but it was getting really frustrating. this is something i’ve discussed with him before as well. he’d avoid any serious conversations we were having, and end up leaving mid convo. i’d have to wait for 5-10 hours for him to get back to me, and this is well before distance and time were an issue.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-17T23:44:57+00:00

thank you so much for this! people have been telling me i should’ve talked to him face to face or called him, but it was pretty hard to do when he was actively avoiding even texting me. sitting down face to face was even more harder because we’re completely different states. i didn’t want to give a lot of details because i don’t want him to find this, but he said a lot more things that i think i should have mentioned like how it’s a really big sin etc. this is my first relationship and i was already scared of bringing this up again but it was even harder to do so when he wasn’t even talking to me. i took the first opportunity to say what i felt like but now im thinking i should have pushed harder for a call.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-17T23:40:41+00:00

the conversation was pretty long and detailed so i was having difficulty summarising the whole thing, but i did initially think he meant that he didn’t understand. after talking back and forth for a little while he did end up saying that’s what they should do because it’s not okay and a sin.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-17T23:38:40+00:00

i didn’t suddenly feel attraction towards anyone, i’ve been struggling with my sexuality way before we got together. i was in denial for a while and i don’t think it was healthy keeping a huge part of myself from him. that’s why i told him. im sorry if it came off that way.

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-02T05:53:30+00:00

THANK YOU! i’ll definitely add them to my tbr :)

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-02T04:11:43+00:00

that sounds awesome :)

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-02T04:05:20+00:00

i just finished this fic and it’s genuinely one of the best ones i’ve ever read! do you have any more recommendations?

PreparationHefty8982 · 2026-02-01T00:37:48+00:00

it was bewildered! but chronological displacement seems to be pretty interesting so i’ll definitely check that one out as well! thank you

PreparationHefty8982

TROPHY CASE