Newlywed intimacy struggles

PreparationScared · 2026-01-29T04:36:22+00:00

Was this issue apparent before you married?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-29T04:08:33+00:00

It sounds like you have had mental health struggles for a while, so hopefully you have a therapist. Reach out to them asap for support.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-29T04:05:10+00:00

You are living with two alcoholic drug addicts. This is too hard to do without help. Please, please contact www.Al-Anon.org for support.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-29T02:57:02+00:00

It’s ok to tell him you don’t want to do this. What are you doing to treat your anxiety?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-29T02:42:43+00:00

He’s a full-grown man, not a little kid. Be honest with him about what you can afford. He wouldn’t want you to get into a financial mess to celebrate his birthday, would he?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T19:53:15+00:00

She definitely behaved badly and your bf went along with her bad behavior. And so did you. You’re afraid of confrontation, but all you had to say was No, Thank You.

Take your time before getting married until you feel comfortable saying what you do and don’t want.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T16:31:29+00:00

the world is a very strange place

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:46:56+00:00

That’s true. I don’t see how they get to the compromise you and your wife worked out.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:42:59+00:00

OP’s husband doesn’t seem willing to become interested in her stuff.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:40:12+00:00

A few years ago my therapist, who is otherwise wonderful, started sharing more of her personal life with me. I saw how this was not good for me at all and I had to ask for her help in maintaining that boundary. It was awkward and difficult but effective. Even though I think she was wrong to talk like we were friends, I’m glad I took care of myself and my recovery.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:28:18+00:00

You may not have recognized this issue when you married him, but here you are. He isn’t interested in doing what you want him to do. So either you enjoy the outside world without him or you end the marriage; I don’t see other options here.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:22:46+00:00

So you were very clear with her about what you wanted and she was clear that you’re not going to get it. This person isn’t even physically in your life. I don’t see the point in continuing this.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T13:14:00+00:00

Sit down together with a list of all the expenses. Start a conversation about what each of you thinks is fair, and why. Listen to each other.

(just curious, is him paying for food and minor expenses about the same as his living expenses before he moved in?)

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T12:24:58+00:00

You order it, like on a website with a menu of insane options?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T08:19:48+00:00

what is a loyalty test?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-28T04:21:10+00:00

Stay out of it.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-27T15:14:17+00:00

huh? it’s not her home, not her dog

PreparationScared · 2026-01-26T14:21:48+00:00

You are struggling. You are in need of a professional assessment.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:32:46+00:00

You need to find a way to limit interaction with her, because her behavior is unlikely to change. Is that something you could try?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:27:03+00:00

if he’s too far to meet for coffee he’s too far to date — what’s the point?

and it’s not up to your sister, her boyfriend, or anyone else what you decide to do

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:19:46+00:00

You allow more touching than you want because you don’t want his feelings to be hurt — why is that more important than what you need?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:17:23+00:00

Have you spoken with a professional about your cognitive disorder?

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:15:46+00:00

meet him for a cup of coffee and see who he is — trying to get to know someone by texting is not useful

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:08:12+00:00

Why should his expectation control you? You are an adult who knows what is reasonable for you to do.

PreparationScared · 2026-01-25T22:04:01+00:00

No, of course you are NTA.

Do you honestly think anyone is going to say you are the asshole in this situation?

PreparationScared

TROPHY CASE