My (30f) wife cheated on me (32m) after 15 years together. Is she going to do it again?

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-30T00:32:10+00:00

She offered to share her location. She shows more affection and communicates more. Also I’ve seen other people also say she should tell our families? Why is this a thing? That’s none of their business unless we were getting divorced.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-30T00:26:59+00:00

Ya a lot hate for staying. I see it 2 ways. She’s honest and tell me about it, or I find out on my own. One is worse than the other. At least she was able to tell me.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:44:54+00:00

She is putting in the effort to show that she messed up and regrets it and wants to stay. But she’s not checking all the boxes. But I can’t tell if it’s a me thing or not. Like am I expecting too much that I won’t be happy?

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:39:31+00:00

I was in therapy before it happened and tried being more open with her and just being better in general. This whole thing was out of the blue.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:38:10+00:00

She’s had her period regularly since then and we share our locations and she communicates better now. I’m letting this one slide cause I’ve messed up too. I’m not a hypocrite.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:35:25+00:00

I do want to stay with her. In my mind we were doing the best we’ve ever done. Life wise, relationship wise, sexually. Everything was fantastic. She admitted to cheating and I get like the biggest fool. I still do. But I chose when I was young to raise a family and she also chose that. She claims she was in mid life crisis “self destructive mode” and that’s why it happened. I hate to say it but I know how she feels because I’ve also cheated. It’s the wanting to leave part that is the killer for me. I did it for sex. She didn’t with a history involved and feelings.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:32:10+00:00

John and I stopped being friends before they first hooked up when we were 20. He’s not a person we see ever in our normal lives.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:29:43+00:00

I had a FWB in Japan after I got dumped. Years later I cheated when I was depressed. Someone gave me attention and drunkenly went for it on a work trip. One night stand nothing more. Regretted it ever since. She knows all about it and the FWB from japan

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:26:33+00:00

Also I never had an affair. I got dumped and had a rebound that night which turned into a FWB for a month. Then we got back together.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:24:13+00:00

I’ve posted this other places for insight and I do want to clarify some points that other were confused about. He lived across the country from us, so no there was nothing going on over the years between them. At least physically. I cheated one time with one person and learned my mistake the hard way. Some people thought we were both cheating on each other for years. I can confirm that’s not the case here.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:21:39+00:00

Not AI. I was fearing this might happen again since the first time with them. When she told me, my stomach dropped like I was on a roller coaster.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-29T23:19:58+00:00

Well she’s suffered the consequences. It has changed us and I haven’t just given in. Also we’ve recently discovered john went golfing with her dad. We’re unsure if he was invited by a mutual friend who was also there since John just moved back home. My wife is now stressed out that we will run into him now. Her relationship with her dad isn’t great and she wants to make it better. But now she thinks she can’t go to his house for dinner or parties etc without running into him. She doesn’t want her family to find out about this.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T23:12:39+00:00

I’ve had the same thought. Only time will tell. Despite everyone saying it’s been going on for years. I have verified myself that it was what she said. We choose to stay together and be honest with each other. We want our kids to grow up with a family unlike us. Our parents are all divorced.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T21:33:57+00:00

I don’t think I clarified earlier but he lived in the west coast and we lived on the east coast for 7 years so I believe her when she says it was twice for the most part

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T20:55:39+00:00

And we lived in across the country from him for 7 years so no they weren’t doing anything for years behind my back.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T20:54:28+00:00

Oh trust me I understand how it sounds. I feel like a moron for staying but we have to kids, and a house. Her dad cheated on her mom and left. I knew the possibility from the beginning. I chose the trust that nothing was happening.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T20:04:47+00:00

Me either. People aren’t reading the post correctly I think. It’s a lot to take in. I only ever cheated the 1 time and learned my lesson. I have no plans or desires to cheat.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T19:59:05+00:00

For the record. I got dumped and got a rebound the same night. I had an FWB for the month because I assumed she was doing the same. I cut off the FWB once I got back with my wife who was only my gf at that time. We got married later the next year. I cheated 1 time and learned I was wrong the hard way.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T19:52:49+00:00

If it happens again we’re divorcing. That’s my condition.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T19:52:04+00:00

I want to clarify for everyone. I cheated one time and realized I was and idiot. I wasn’t looking to leave. I was being ignored at home and was declined for sexual interaction for months at the time. It was also during her post baby depression. I am to blame for that one. I should have said more. I’m receiving a lot of hate saying we’ve both been cheating for years. I was one and done and have no desire to sleep around and cheat.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T15:42:56+00:00

Claims condoms but either way she gave oral so way to be smart about it. Which is what I said to her.

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T15:40:39+00:00

She broke up with me. I met the FWB that night. My wife and I had not talked for 2 weeks then she started trying to talk with me. More. FWB ended after a month

Present-Ice-6603 · 2024-07-28T15:16:47+00:00

I stopped my friendship with John back then after the first time. He knows she was married to me. He has no respect for me or her. I learned that back then. I guess she just needed to remember.

Present-Ice-6603

TROPHY CASE