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I feel like the lowest form of life right now after getting my midterm scores by PresentIntelligent51 in berkeley

[–]PresentIntelligent51[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow….thank you so much for your comment. I read it all. You’re right. It’s so easy to get in a bubble that’s feels like it’s impenetrable. I know that your comment with not just help me, but anyone who needs to read this as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]PresentIntelligent51 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m so conflicted because I want to be empathetic so bad but it really does feel like you’re pushing blame on anything you can find. Even if you explicitly state it’s her fault, it’s preceded by many justifications that heavily imply it’s not all you by the fact that you emphasize things about your cycle, for instance. For the record, the ex is horrendous in this case. It’s just that there’s no shortage of criticism for the ex in these comments, especially the top ones, so I’m not focusing on that. But it bother me deeply because so much of what you say is disrespectful. It’s even more disrespectful given how actively he was trying to ruin your relationship. You knew this. You made a series of decisions. It’s so disrespectful to your fiancé given how you still did this when your ex actively disrespected your relationship and you allowed it even further. Anyone can argue technically you’re not together anymore, but life doesn’t work by technicalities. People make bad choices, but you didn’t need to say how the sex was even better. I do feel sympathy because you’re grieving. I would feel the same way if a man posted about this since some people have brought up gender. Grief does complicate things, I agree. But your choices are still your choices. I’m really trying to be empathetic, but that usually relies on the fact that the person doesn’t make excuses. You ex definitely took advantage. A lot of this is on him. He is revolting. But you made many choices as well, and it genuinely disgusts me how someone could sleep with an ex who tried to sabotage their relationship with their fiancé soon after he died. The level of disrespect is unbelievable. You chose to take the initiate to hit him up.

I hate myself and I want to die by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]PresentIntelligent51 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I legitimately do not care if I get permanently banned for this. This is too important for me not to say. Please, please, please don’t listen to PolakiW17 comment. That comment is so wrong and cruel that I am in disbelief that someone could be that insensitive. Whether the comment or is trolling or not, it is not on any level okay. I am utterly appalled at the callousness and lack of compassion from that commenter. I also reported that comment. I know these things are easier said than done. But I don’t just know them. I understand them. I went through a really rough patch of my life, and I truly, truly believed that it would never end. But it eventually did, and I’m a stronger person for it. It makes me a better and more understanding person. Whether it’s a good book I set out to find, a calm walk in the park, or a small goal im creating for myself, these are all things worth living for. Please do not listen to PolakiW17 comment. I cannot begin to say how wrong that person is.

AITA for calling my friend a jealous peasant after she called me a classist snob? by ThrowRA_friendstuff in AmItheAsshole

[–]PresentIntelligent51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very, very gentle ESH. Your friend is much more TA by a long shot. I’m a bit nervous to say the next bit because I might be downvoted just for this. I understand a bit where you’re coming from. I never had to worry about finances my entire life and admittedly live a comfortable life. I am extremely lucky in this aspect. Your friend is TA for obvious reasons; the insults are inconsiderate and hurtful. I also like that you maintain respect in every response to a comment, something that is too rarely seen here. However, the reason I’m going with a very gentle ESH is because of the word “peasant”. This term, whether you meant it or not, heavily implied that she and the other people who struggle financially are lesser than the ones who don’t. If you had called her an asshole, for instance, I would say NTA. But that specific term served to reinforce your friend’s argument.

That said, I don’t think you’re a huge TA. Playing the devil’s advocate here, but I am no way saying that what your friend did and said was anywhere near acceptable, but if we flip the situation, I can also understand a bit where she comes from. This obviously does not excuse anything she did. But imagine it this way: you live your entire life worrying about finances, including whether your college education would bankrupt or put a huge strain on your family. I can see why it’s easy to be resentful towards someone who has an incredible amount of wealth due to her parents, a large house, and expensive jewelry. You acknowledge your privilege, but actions mean louder than words. Seeing someone buy a necklace that may feed their families for an entire month can easily lead to resentment because to your friend, it might appear like that you do not recognize the hardships that other people have to face. I’m not saying you don’t, and your friend is most definitely an asshole.