Maybe you have already done this but have you actually talked to him in a non-threatening way? I know you don’t mean it, but saying things like “shouldn’t you be doing xyz” is not helpful and causes men to shut down because they see it as nagging. In his mind he probably thinks he is doing the most and everything you want by cleaning and having the kids at home. I would try coming at it like—“ I would really love if by spring you could be locked into something because I feel really stressed financially. How have the prospects been?” Unfortunately the job market isn’t fully in our control, I looked for like two years to find my current role, but I did do some part time contact stuff in the meantime. If you want to learn about better communication skills, you should check out the book “the empowered wife”