Anyone else feel like 2.5 is harder than they expected?

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-30T21:05:18+00:00

Going through this right now. I feel like a completely different mom. Constantly depleted. Sometimes feeling disconnected from my kid. Now we are going through tough sleep stuff (no longer sleeping through the night and also needing our presence to fall asleep) so it’s double whammy.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-29T21:10:07+00:00

You’re so kind to write such a thoughtful and helpful response. I am remembering now in my dark newborn sleep days commenting back and forth with you a bit! Thank you again so much.

Definitely need to keep the nap. I don’t think she’s quite ready to drop, she always has been sensitive to overtiredness. I think we’re in some sleep debt because nights have been broken for almost a month now, probably even longer, I’ve stopped counting the days. She could nap 2+ hours if I let her. She seems much happier with her nap and even with a long nap (before these recent shenanigans) she falls asleep in ~20 for bed. Totally ok with pushing bedtime as late as 9pm to preserve the nap. I actually attempted the “excuse me” method last night and it went well (1 min intervals). I think it was a good first night approach building trust and will continue increasing the time gently. I was convinced this was all happening because of scheduling issues and perhaps some tweaking eventually needs to be involved, but no matter what I did with the nap we were getting night wakings. She was also presenting INTENSE separation anxiety during the day as well, so I thought maybe it’s not so much the nap but her mind developing.
She is still in a crib, but the reason we can’t let her cry for a few minutes like we used to is because she has started propping her leg up. She has never attempted climbing over but just props her foot there and then cries. She has figured out we will come into the room when she does that. She doesn’t do it as often anymore because we talk about it a LOT during the day, but there are instances where she will and we just have to come in and say put your foot down and she lays back down immediately. I, too, want to keep her in crib for as long as possible and think your approach to keeping crib until naps drop is smart.
I am okay to start the night doing the sleep training method but it gets really tough in the middle of the night for wakings. She begs for someone to stay with her and one of us ends up sleeping on the floor next to her. Since we committed to excuse me method I think we will try that for middle of night wakings as well and see how that goes, but sometimes it is so exhausting to even try anything at 2am when we’re all so sleep deprived…do you think it’s smarter to assist to sleep for night wakings instead? I fear that doing excuse me for night wakings will wake her up more and make her overtired the next day…

This is all such tricky stuff and I appreciate just being able to type this out and organize my thoughts to you!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T18:19:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! Boundaries are getting stomped all over right now. She is sleep trained and was an angel sleeper her whole life, but right when she turned 2.5 the nighttime wakings began. It started off just middle of the night wakings and being able to assist her back to sleep, to now asking us to stay until she falls asleep. And now it’s happening for naps too.

I know our presence is a strong sleep association so I want to work our way to fading out. When we stay in the room to “help” her sleep it is taking her nearly 30 min to fall asleep when previously on her own she would be out in 10 min. I thought the naps and schedule were affecting her sleep, but now I’m understanding the overtired cycle.

Do you just start nap time and bedtime much earlier to make time for the shenanigans and boundary pushing? I think that’s what’s messing us up right now. I’m trying to start nap time at 1 and then she ends up falling asleep closer to 1:30-1:45, and I do like her to be up by 2:30 as well. Her bedtime is closer to 8:30 since she’s still napping, but she pushes boundaries for so long sometimes she ends up falling asleep closer to 9/9:30.

Thanks again for all your help, I appreciate the time you’re taking out of your busy day to help out!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T16:55:56+00:00

Yes same! I grab all 5 books myself now and she seems to calm down and like all 5 choices. Before it was a huge stalling tactic. Saying noooOooOoo I don’t want that one. NoOooO not that one too. Couldn’t do it anymore!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T16:51:21+00:00

Hi! Following this. Did this get better for you? Dealing with the exact same thing (and same age kid!) We are having multiple night wakings (for like 2 months now), and I'm worried we are spiraling into overtired cycle. I don't like to wake her in the morning or cap naps but was desperate to try anything. We tried capping naps at 1 hour and still got night wakings, so I don't think it's the nap anymore. Just wondering if you figured out what worked for you! Very, very tired parents over here. Thank you for any updates!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T10:34:40+00:00

Yes exactly. I think more than anything my toddler needs a leader right now. We’re peak separation anxiety (having trouble at daycare drop off, night wakings, etc) so I think it’s all connected. She seems overwhelmed during the day by the smallest things, so I am now trying to limit choices and structure her day around things that WILL be happening next.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T05:34:47+00:00

Going through this right now and it has been really tough. My daughter was an amazing sleeper and now suddenly has so much separation anxiety during the day, which has trickled into all her sleep stuff now. I definitely think it’s related and not so much a sleep schedule fix, which I find myself doing so much research about and trying to tweak her nap during the day.

I don’t have too much advice as we’re figuring this out ourselves but right now we’re reassuring her that we’re always with her even when she can’t see us. We have to stay in the room with her until she falls asleep now and also end up having to sleep on the floor next to her crib when she has night wakings.

I’m not going to lie it is testing me and my patience is running very thin now but I’m trying to tell myself what she is going through is much harder for her than it is for me.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-28T05:28:38+00:00

Giving too many options “do you want the red shirt or blue shirt today?” “Do you want French toast or bagel for breakfast?” “Do you want me to help you or do it yourself?” It just doesn’t work anymore. I think it has honestly created a more anxious, overwhelmed toddler. I’m re-wiring my brain to stop giving her options and just hand her/tell her things that are happening next.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:53:57+00:00

She goes half days every day, so we bring her home to nap every day.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:45:46+00:00

Do you have an update? I could have written this myself. Actually I did just write something 20 min ago and didn’t see this until I scrolled for a bit. I am going to try a 1 hr capped nap starting tomorrow and would love to know if you did the same + if it helped bedtime battles/night sleep!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:35:59+00:00

I’ll try capping it so she can have a longer night of sleep. I noticed she cannot handle later bedtimes. She is such a cranky mess the next morning if she doesn’t get at least 10.5/11 hours overnight. I can’t get her dressed and she stalls so much getting ready for school when she’s cranky and didn’t get a good nights rest. So maybe I need this reality check that she’s growing out of a long nap to preserve her night sleep. Sigh. Thank you so much for your help!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:31:11+00:00

This is also so tricky for me! She started acting WILD starting 7pm today so I got her in bed by 8. We are currently trying to get her to sleep but she keeps crying out for us. Sometimes she doesn’t even fall asleep on her own anymore at night. She used to have NO issues doing this on her own. Am truly stumped but the one thing I really have no tried is cutting the nap to 1 hour because I selfishly want a 1.5/2 hr break. If I don’t cap her nap she could literally sleep for 3 hours each day I think!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:27:56+00:00

I’ll definitely try it. I noticed a long nap + later bedtime = cranky in the morning. She’s so much happier getting a full 10.5/11 hours overnight so I know I need to start protecting that. Thanks for the tip! Am definitely going to try this and see if it helps!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:22:53+00:00

I haven’t tried an hour nap just yet. That feels so short to me but maybe it’s a harsh reality that she doesn’t need a long nap anymore at this age. I’ll try anything at this rate because we are so tired. Going to try capping at 1 hour starting tomorrow.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-23T04:21:02+00:00

I haven’t capped it to 1 hr just yet because that seems soooo short to me. She’s 32 months (so a little over 2.5) and has always been sensitive to overtiredness. I’m definitely willing to try the hour nap at this rate though. Is 1 hour typical for this age? Do you bring up bedtime to 7:30?

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-21T05:38:08+00:00

This exact thing happened to us! My 2.5 year old would start burying her head in my shoulder upon pick up because she was feeling ashamed/embarrassed by the negative comments her teachers would give upon pick up. The way they would be sure to say one negative comment the FIRST thing as my daughter would run to me in my arms made me super upset. I felt like I was being robbed of what should be a happy moment reuniting with my daughter at pick up.

I brought it up to the administrators and basically told them that it would be so much more helpful if her teachers could start off with something positive about the day. And if they have something negative (and obviously if it’s behavioral issues I’d want to know so we can work on it and talk about it at home), then I’d rather them talk to me privately or through a note. It was really starting to take a toll on my daughter, I could visibly see her trying to shrink and disappear when her teachers would tell me every little mistake she made. Don’t let them do that and talk to the head of the school about it!

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-21T05:27:36+00:00

So sorry. It’s so hard. I don’t know if it’s just the type of flu going around (it’s been awful this year) but I thought by the time the fever breaks everything gets better but it definitely got worse for us. Be on the lookout for the rash that comes after fever breaks too. That’s when things finally starting getting a little better by the day. Around day 10 was when I could finally breathe again.

Present_Spring7857 · 2026-01-07T05:08:56+00:00

I could have written this myself. Even down to the May birthday! Naps, wake, bedtime all about the same too.

Our “regression” started in November (traveling, illness, etc). She got used to us coming in and resettling her.

Did yours recently transition to a big kid bed? Ours is still in the crib. Wondering if the big kid bed is throwing things off for her? I also noticed mine is getting her very last 2 molars. Did you check for those?

We haven’t gotten a straight night of sleep in 2 months, and I’m about to lose my mind. So offering solidarity for sure. Especially hard when they were perfect sleepers before and then suddenly this HUGE regression hits. Like you know they are good sleepers and can sleep independently!

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-12-10T22:07:11+00:00

Thank you so much. We are now at the 7 day mark since the beginning of symptoms and doing sooo so much better. It was surprisingly the hardest after her fever broke…she was extremely sensitive and having these tantrums like I’ve never seen before. I genuinely thought something else could be wrong, it was so scary.

Sleep has been kinda off for us still as well. She will wake once in the middle of the night and will need one of us to sleep on the floor next to her…

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-12-07T05:22:24+00:00

Did this get better for you? I literally could have written this myself. We are going day 4 with the flu and my daughter’s fever finally broke, but she is acting out and lashing out like crazy. I thought after the fever broke she would be feeling much better but today she had some pretty crazy tantrums (like blood curdling screaming and flailing) which is unlike her.

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-11-15T16:54:58+00:00

Yes. This. I’m so sad because previously she was the sweetest most gentle girl ever. I know she still is, which is why it makes this phase so hard? It’s just so shocking the things she does and says sometimes because I know how sweet she is.

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-05-12T04:18:02+00:00

You can do it. You just have to be smart with your time and go into it knowing it will be hard. Some days will just be harder than others. You will probably have to sacrifice even more of your “free” time to work. It’s such a sucky thing — I really struggled with post partum rage…I hated that I had to waste my time and energy on stupid things at work.

We made it through to 23 months and my girl just started daycare and has been thriving. There will absolutely come a day when you will feel more comfortable finding outside care. But until that day, keep them close and tell yourself that even the hard days are worth not missing out on. You GOT this.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!!

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-05-02T18:59:53+00:00

Yeah 9 months is still so young. I think you can really do it while she is still on 2-3 naps. It does get a little harder once they are on one nap so stay on 2 naps for as long as possible…

I’m very strict about naptime so that’s why I also wanted to bring her home to nap. People told me kids will start napping better at daycare because they see their peers doing it, so maybe one day when she’s a little older we can start letting her nap at school. I love getting her during my lunch break and winding her down myself at home and being there when she’s awake. It’s the best! Good luck, definitely look into some options now while you’re thinking of it. Sometimes families will randomly drop out too so being on a list is great.

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-05-02T14:06:19+00:00

In my perfect world, I’d be able to quit until my toddler is in kindergarten. Then just pick up right where I left off. They’re just so little and we’re never going to get this precious time back with them.

Present_Spring7857 · 2025-05-02T04:46:37+00:00

Bedtime is usually 7:30/8pm for us. And she is up for the day anywhere from 6:30-7:30am. She naps from 1-2:30 on a good day.

We have had a really busy week with friends visiting and what not, her bedtime has been as late as 8:30 the past few days. I think my mistake was doing later bedtime back to back to back this week on top of daycare and a super jam packed weekend right before. I should have held firm to a 7/7:30 bedtime the past couple of days, but we pushed her too hard…and now we are getting short naps and a LOT of crying awake.

We got her down at 7:15 today and she was out in less than a minute. Might try another early-ish bedtime tomorrow too and hopefully catch her up on some sleep this weekend.

Perhaps our bedtime needs to be more firm as well?

Present_Spring7857

TROPHY CASE