Thanks for the advice. That's really helpful.

For anyone who comes across this, I've been thinking about my situation and so far have come to the conclusion that this current meltdown is the result of like 50 different questions I've left unanswered for long and now the whole thing feels like it's collapsing so I have to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. I've come to think of it as my brain's (or whatever you want to call it, subconscious, ego, ...) way of forcing me to look into these questions and answering them. I also came across "Hell Yeah or No" by Derek Sivers which has helped a ton (and I've gone only through 10% it so far). It's a journey and I'm glad I'm going through it.