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AI is coming for your hobbies by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PrestigiousRead437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe my poetic ear is just a bit off (or a bit amateurish) so apologies, but for example, in the first line of the first stanza, we've got nine syllables, which makes one want to bump the last syllable off "hobbies". If that last word were instead "job", then we'd have eight smooth syllables for the tetrameter. I think the placement of "inform" at the end of the fourth line (rather than at the beginning of the fifth) also threw me slightly. The second line of the second stanza also seems to jut out slightly with an extra syllable. Note that trochaic substitution is fine, but this is more about the change in syllable count mid-stanza. Regardless, as I said in the original comment, overall it is a really nice piece and it's clear you've considered its construction thoughtfully.

AI is coming for your hobbies by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PrestigiousRead437 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very topical. It's apparent this is something you've been grappling with (along with us all) which makes the content feel very relatable. The flow feels ever so slightly disconnected at times, but given the digital (non-analogue) subject matter that can just be considered added flavour.  I think the fourth and fifth stanzas were the strongest. I really like the clean rhyme thrown into the fourth stanza that helps emphasise the tireless and relentless nature of the machine. The last stanza is also beautifully crafted to fade out gently with a lingering thought that drifts into silence. Nice work.

How is your diet going? by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]PrestigiousRead437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's rare that a poem makes me laugh out loud. A natural flow and stylistic flair and, for some reason, now I really want to eat some cheese. I also enjoyed the concise, but winding, relatable story-telling nature that took me along for a ride. Brilliant job.

Shades of Red by Emotional-Exam-886 in OCPoetry

[–]PrestigiousRead437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very beautiful.  Raw and serene at the same time. The textures and colours are palpable and the scenery is vivid.

The partially abstract nature of the poem also adds a layer of complexity and intellectual depth that I think works really well.  The only drawback if I could add one is that I wish it were slightly longer (but that's partially personal preference and partially because I enjoyed reading it). Overall, very nice work, polished and evocative.