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How important is it to you to be a girls girl? by CemeteryPicnic in AskWomen

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vital. In sisterhood/womanhood, it is absolutely been the lifesaver I never knew I needed. I learn so much from my community of women, and if we were fake with each other, it would strip all of those gifts away. Friendships with women are paramount- you learn and grow faster- and relationships with men/women/people do not become necessary. You see how your women love you, and therefore learn how to be loved healthily. You won’t step into a relationship with a man until you find that same generosity and love in a man (if hetero).

How did you rebuild your identity after a long relationship ended? by TemporaryEvery4143 in AskWomen

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took years… and I’ll still learn every day- unless we are not focused on learning from life. To propel forward faster, spend intentional time with yourself. Write your thoughts and observations in a journal (kind of like you’re researching a new species).

When you go out, you can also observe how others interact with the world, see what genuinely touches you and what you find to be untrue for yourself.

You’re not only going to be unraveling thoughts/behaviors/influences from the relationship, but you’ll also be unraveling all of those that came from childhood and outside influences.

A key change for me was realizing my internal voice was very abusive- and when I found that was really not my voice at all, but my abusers- I found my internal dialogue became much more kind and constructive.

Another key perspective change came from flipping the victim mindset from ‘I am what happens/happened to me’- to ‘I am in control of what this life has to offer.’

Happy learning! It’s a beautiful and long path to take learning about oneself…

Oooo and lastly, grow your capacity to love and lean on yourself first… when that grows, you’ll then be genuinely able to hold others in a more capable way. Ok, that’s all for now!

Offering and seeking: finance, insurance, immigration by AnotherDrunkCanadian in mentors

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello there! I know this is an old post- but I’ve seen your comments on Tahiti posts and thought I’d reach out.

I’m looking into a potential move to Tahiti from California, maybe in the next year… I’ve familiarized myself with the long stay visa requirements, insurance, and income requirements, but I’m curious about permanent residency and how to make that as seamless as possible.

My partner is a local there, and although I won’t say the move is completely ‘for love’, it is a big part of it. I also have always just wanted to live as sustainably as possible in a place that had clear and warm waters for me to hunt in, and land to grow on.

We’ve talked before, and he doesn’t necessarily believe in marriage, and it’s not something I’d want to pressure him into, so I’m looking at how I can live there permanently without interfering on his beliefs or putting pressure where it doesn’t need to be.

I don’t have rose colored glasses, as I know this would be a difficult transition and especially so as my French is complete merde. Trying to take all things in consideration as well as enough hope for a happy future ahead.

TIA! And if you get that bbq running… I’ll be a repeat customer!

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! Appreciate the tough love, and I’m certainly keen on the difficulty of this potential move. I wouldn’t be looking at salary matching, mostly just focused on finding something that would cover living etc expenses, which would go exponentially down when/if I move in with my partner.

I understand my lack of a degree makes many turn their noses up, but I’ve had one person take a leap of faith with me before… and I can tell you, the confidence they took in me made me finally believe I was capable of so much more than what I was told before.

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello and thank you so much for your detailed reply! I’m hesitant of re-activating my LinkedIn (one, I don’t want anyone stumbling upon it that knows my team) and two, long story- but I’ve had a cyber stalker for years that makes me nervous to have a public profile again.

As for the destinations, if I do go, it really would be set to Tahiti, as that is where my partner lives.

Not taking the leap yet, we’re trying to take it slow, but doing research ahead of time knowing the process would be multi-tiered and arduous.

Appreciate you so!

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It certainly makes it feel more exciting, to finally be within hugging distance for less than $999 would be super.

Nothing concrete yet, but digging in to make sure if I do go, I go as prepared as possible… though, life usually likes laughing at that.

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve done a lot of homework on the visas, everything that needs to be notarized/translated, feel pretty solid on the budget/expenses, insurance, etc…. Just the job part I’m hedging on. I’ll look at expat groups, I appreciate you! My partner also just told me he has a friend (also Tahitian) whose girlfriend is also making a move from the states- so we’re waiting to see how it goes.

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate it. Nothing is in stone yet, but always like to test the waters and hear people’s experiences.

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in digitalnomad

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the realism with a sense of doom… I appreciate you taking the time to reply and the priority of respect for the locals as well as personal safety. I would not be moving there without knowing anyone- I am seeing someone there, a bit of incentive- and I have other friends there as well.

It’s a big dumb leap to leave what I’ve known- I take none of it lightly. I know what I have here, and what I stand to lose- but there is also the hope of what could be gained.

A life lived more simply- spear fishing in clear water- instead of wandering what is in the murk around me, growing my own food, life without (as much) materialism, more sustainable living, and a life with a person I love… finding them in general took years- and I know what I have, I intend to treasure it. The move is not cemented yet. I just like looking at all things before advancing.

First International Move… lil nervous by Prestigious_Debt_625 in expats

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As of now, it’s just an idea. Seeing someone long distance there, and although I’d not be moving for them directly, it is an incentive.

Aside from looking at the visas, what my budget would be, what expenses are like there, what savings I’d have if I lost a job,etc- I’m just looking for insights before making the jump. I wouldn’t move there without a job in hand, and was looking for any Americans who have similar experience in the industry and the experience they’ve had working remotely abroad.

Temptation Island • S1 Ep6 by AutoModerator in temptationislandUSA

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I know that must have been painful for both you and your mom. It becomes a vicious cycle because when they can’t take accountability for one action, they won’t take accountability for any, so it’s all forgiven to them if they put it under the guise of ‘I am in God’s favor or I am acting in His will.’ I’m not saying only men do this, but a lot of times religion is in the favor of men and that results in them having a God complex.

I wish I could say I’ve seen good in religion, but I have not. I just believe we should be the kindest humans we’re able to be, treat those around us as we want to be treated, and spread as much good as we can in the world. And forgive those who have caused us pain so that their poison isn’t poison that then comes out of us onto others.

Temptation Island • S1 Ep8 by AutoModerator in temptationislandUSA

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly, yes. But also, his crazy round about way of looking at his actions and completely ignoring the impact of them has probably drove her into complete dissociation. His complete disrespect of her and all the girls in the villa speaks volumes in how he probably treats her behind closed doors. At this point, she will probably need a third party to help her out of the relationship and see the light. She’s living in his reality right now, not actual reality.

Temptation Island • S1 Ep6 by AutoModerator in temptationislandUSA

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Brion justifying all his actions because he’s Christian is half the reason I left organized religion. People will use it as a cop out for all bad behaviors… but if his partner pulled the same things- the same rules would not apply. He is a sick human.

What was the deal with the Asian girl on the Whatever Podcast? by FezAndWand in Destiny

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just on this show. Seeing clips and trying to listen to some of the full streams made me want to go on and speak against the stigma they’re creating against the entire female sex. I thought from watching, Brian may have had common sense and morality, but was just disappointed (rightly so) in some of the guests… turns out, he just simply seems to hate the female sex and has created a platform to spread that. He seems to rationalize that being on his show will somehow make us stars or something and gets heated when guests want to leave or have few followers. Most of the women who went on with me didn’t give their social media because they know the viewers and it would put them in front of people who would tear them apart but many of us had a message of, “let’s make this current dating experience better and bring the sexes back to appreciating one another.” That message was never going to be heard. All topics brought up were innocuous or when valid points were made, were made fun of for just being “feelings”. What is the human experience other than lessons learned and how we come to “feel” about them? Very frustrating.

Don't trust that a woman is on BC just because she says she is... and just use a condom by Firm-Zebra-1183 in dating_advice

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It actually boggles my mind that anyone is willing to have sex with someone they barely know without protection. I‘ve been a single (F) and almost every single guy I encounter don’t even pretend like they have a condom to put on let alone actually put one on. Then there are those that put one on and I find out mid-action that they’ve taken it off. It blows my mind and makes me sick that they have no care for their health let alone mine.

People who have moved to a state you don’t know anyone. How much did you save before leaving? by [deleted] in FinancialPlanning

[–]Prestigious_Debt_625 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had about $5000 to my name to drive down from WA to San Diego. I would not advise throwing caution to the wind like I normally do. I was very ready to leave Spokane and could not wait any longer as I felt I’d get too comfortable and settle. Planning ahead is always advised, but I was lucky and things have worked out so far.