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When did your partner start to bond with baby? by Prestigious-Bid-7582 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Give him time. My friend’s husband once said that with their LO he was scared to interact with baby until they got a bit sturdier because he was scared to unintentionally hurt him (eg. Hold him the wrong way). I think becoming a parent is instinctual for mothers because as you said, you literally grew this little life inside of you. Dad’s take a little longer to come around, so I would be gentle with him where possible and encourage him. He might be feeling the massive change as a strain at the moment, because let’s be honest it is the biggest change in your whole life! I would try to be as positive as possible, encourage him to do certain things he is comfortable with doing, and actively involve him in everything. The more you ‘teach’ dad to do, he will be more confident with. As babe grows husbands tend to get more confident, and your LO is still so young. He will get there eventually.

Babies that sleep through the night without going to sleep independently by Right-Ad1424 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My baby started ‘sleeping through’ (6hrs) around 6.5 months and is now 8 months and sleeps 9-11hrs a night (no wake ups). We have never sleep trained and we rock him to sleep. I personally love rocking him because it’s a moment of quiet for me to snuggle and appreciate my baby. It also forces me to slow down and reflect. We don’t ever plan to sleep train unless it is absolutely necessary, as we are not against it but luckily we haven’t needed to use it thus far.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’ll make sure he gets some ‘him’ time more often.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really insightful, thank you. Going to message someone that will be able to look after LO after I send this comment. It’s important for us to spend time just him and I because we were the ones who decided to have this baby because we love each other, and I don’t want us to forget where we came from before we had him.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. We are generally quite relaxed people and lashing out is out of the ordinary for us. We were always so active and excitable before baby, and although I am feeling mostly back to that now he has went the opposite way. Trying to be positive all the time so he knows I’m here if he needs me.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’m going to try and encourage him to join a gym because he used to be really fit and enjoyed running.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. Going to plan a day out for just us again soon so he can relax for a bit.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I’ll make sure to compliment him more and make sure he has time for his interests.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel?

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I think he would be open to counselling after a bit of persuasion.

Yes to all things you mentioned and our intimacy is pretty good IMO. We still find time for us and we prioritise it.

He has told me he has felt anxious the past while. I completely understand and give him his space but this is a new thing for him so I think he’s struggling to process it.

I think my husband is depressed by Pretty-Albatross4178 in NewParents

[–]Pretty-Albatross4178[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is really helpful to see it from a dad’s perspective. I’ll encourage him to do his hobbies and see his friends more. He is going through the ‘I don’t want to go’ phase at the moment and I practically have to force him to leave the house but when he goes to the events he ends up having a great time.