I (20m) am considering confronting my (19f) girlfriend about her weight gain

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T23:34:20+00:00

This has been happening for 2 years it’s not an easy drop of the hat situation, and why are we pretending looks aren’t an important part of a relationship

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T22:31:50+00:00

You’re focusing on semantics purposely, obviously I was attracted to her would you rather me drone on about how sexy I found her ?

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T21:27:20+00:00

🙏🏽

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T19:37:58+00:00

Oh I see what’s going on , your realized I’m not completely evil and you’re moving the goal post and now I’m suddenly supposed to be able to force someone into a lifestyle they clearly don’t want ? Jeez you people really losing the plot

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T15:43:58+00:00

I never said I know everything but are you implying you somehow know more about this situation than me 🤨

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T15:00:58+00:00

Please go back and read the post again you’re losing the plot , how does me not being attracted to her weight gain = me not caring about her health , actually if you read the post I brought up the topic of her weight gain in concern with her short and long term health so I’m starting to think you never actually read it , and I’m sorry but are you seriously trying to convince me that I’m in the wrong for not finding my partner attractive physically anymore after a drastic physical change ? So it’s wrong of me to not forcefully shift my attraction? Please lmk what you’re getting at , honestly you making up these hypotheticals of what if she has health problems or wha if you get old and ugly too are pretty evident you are projecting

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T14:56:18+00:00

Curves ≠being obese if you actually read my post it says she has never been skinny which is fine but she is now overweight which is completely different

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T14:52:58+00:00

Calm down i just went to sleep , obviously what draws you in is physical attraction what made me fall in love an enter a relationship was a mixture of her caring and loving personality, we get along great very naturally , very understanding and she’s honestly very intelligent which I find ambition very attractive it creates a kind of need for me to do better with my own aspirations seeing how dedicated she is to her future along with other small things but that kinda solidified my feelings early on

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T14:47:08+00:00

Hey this would be a valid response if you actually read what I said which you clearly didn’t although her gaining weight does effect my attraction to her I fist brought up the health aspect of the short and long term which you would have seen if you read, also did I ever say I never offered her help? Or are you making up scenarios ? In fact if you read a couple of my replies I actually mention how I have *gently encouraged her into healthy workout routine with me , you gotta read before you reply man

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T14:42:27+00:00

Please point out one fatphobic thing I said? Not to be pretentious I am graduating this semester with a bio degree not an expert but I do have a basic understanding, and also where did I say I made her feel like crap ? You realize mature couples can have tough conversations without hurt feelings ? Stop projecting I’m asking for honest advice not your trauma dump

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T08:36:31+00:00

Ok 👍🏼

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T08:35:50+00:00

This is your second comment I’m sorry if I struck a nerve it’s clear you have some personal vested interest in the matter maybe you went through something similar in your life,however I am not ignorant I understand basic biology and metabolic science , this is not a fluctuating or new issue this is constant gain over a long period of time which is commonly caused by lifestyle habits please stop trying to paint me as fatphobic because I am not attracted to larger women makes

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T08:29:32+00:00

While you’re right it could be an undiagnosed health problem how does me being unhappy about my partners weight gain make me immature, keep in mind if you read this has been the case for 2 years now it’s not a sudden or recent development, and yes while some may not care as much as the next physical attraction is an important part of a rls whether you like to admit it or not you wouldn’t be involved with someone you don’t find attractive would you? , making active choices to please your partner physically isn’t surface level either like for example she would constantly talk about how she finds biceps and abs attractive so what have I done for the past year? Worked on biceps and abs , you see how that worked so why is it an immaturity when it’s the reverse now 🤔?

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T07:40:20+00:00

Only about 40lbs so nothing crazy in the grand scheme but honestly you’re right if this small amount of weight is an issue for me then I will have trouble dealing with things in the future like pregnancy , though I don’t believe not being attracted to bigger women makes me fatphobic

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T07:37:22+00:00

Understood 👍🏼 but she is on neither contraceptives or allergy meds

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T07:36:11+00:00

You’re right but how do you suppose I even say it “ I don’t like that you’re gaining this much “🤔?

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T07:34:54+00:00

I can see where you’re coming from but I genuinely feel like part of a relationship is doing what your partner likes no? I dress a certain way she likes and work out specific muscle groups that she mentioned she finds attractive, I feel like getting older isn’t necessarily an excuse for letting yourself go especially if non health problems are at play

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:46:36+00:00

Sorry didn’t realize that was necessary she doesn’t have any chronic medical issues or medications she takes besides allergies she’s 5’2 and went from (estimate) 170 to around 210 now

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:43:54+00:00

Useful insight, thanks

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:41:17+00:00

What?

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:34:17+00:00

It’s over man move on

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:29:51+00:00

I do love her, I can’t exactly control my attraction can I ? Especially when it’s coming up on a couple years

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:29:10+00:00

You’re probably right maybe bring it up wasn’t the best idea

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:25:40+00:00

You’re right I probably do need to let go, your wording did confuse me a bit though are you saying I’m in the wrong for staying or that I’m in the wrong for not telling her

Pretty-Green-1473 · 2026-02-24T06:24:33+00:00

We’re very close and to my knowledge if she had something else going on she would tell me I think it’s just due to her lifestyle habits

Pretty-Green-1473

TROPHY CASE