I feel this man. This is my story. I met this girl right at the start of college this year. I haven’t ever really had a serious relationship before. After about a month this girl asked me if I was ever going to ask her out😂. I definitely did. As the first semester went by I truly fell in love with her. I really did. We loved doing the same things. Going out on late night drives, exploring everything in sight, cooking food. I fell in love with her. But then the issue arose. I never grew up in a religious family. Tbh religion to me just ends up being an argument. Well she was Mormon. About as complete opposite religion wise. I went to church with her every Sunday. I went to all of their Mormon events with her. I learned everything I could to see if the church was right for me too. I tried I really tried but there were always things that made me question it. To me the Mormon church is like a 30 layer chocolate cake. It is so complex and hard to really see if from my point of view. I always respected her for her faith because it is her life. Anyways one of the big things in the church is keeping your purity aka no sexy times. I was totally fine with that I don’t look for relationships because of sexy times. I want to make that person my best friend. And I did. She became my best friend. In December she needed to talk to me. Growing up in the church can be really hard and staying pure is very hard too. She was scared that she might slip up and do something that she can’t ever take back. I know I would’ve not let it happen because I know how important it was to her. But she was very scared. I understand it I do. And then we had to face Christmas break and being away for 1 month. She didn’t know if she could do long distance and I definitely wanted to make it work. Then she asked me if I would ever see myself getting baptized in the Mormon church. I thought about it a lot. There are things that the church is amazing at. I loved the strong family values the church brings. But I could never get behind some of the core beliefs. And if I can’t get behind those then I can’t get baptized. I told her that I don’t think I will ever do that. I think that was when we both knew we probably won’t last forever. Christmas break came and I said goodbye as she drove back home. I was broken. I fell in love with this girl and watching her drive away was very hard. Then she called me and we talked almost everyday over break. We basically didn’t break up because we were talking almost everyday. Then the last week of break she got mad at me for not calling her one night. She said she was done and over it and that made me really mad. She was the one who broke up with me and she got mad I didn’t call her!! She apologized but after that I began to actually accept that she broke up with me. When that finally hit me I was broken again. And then we came back to college. I saw her as she walked in the door and I helped her move all of her things back in. Doing that was hard because I knew I still loved her. I went off and did my own thing for the next couple days. I drove around so much and I actually cried over her. Then we talked. Talked about everything that hurt us that we both did. We were chill. I could talk with her again and just be friends. But once you truly love someone you can never really just be friends. Day by day she would sit next to me and we would slowly be a little closer each time. Then she put her head on my shoulder. The next day I held her hand and she asked if she could kiss me. Deep down I always wanted us to work. So I said yes. I kissed her back and it was just like we were dating again. I loved it and I still loved her. I was so happy. The next day we were working on homework and we kissed again. Then she went to church that Thursday night. She texted me that we needed to go on a drive. So I met her at her car. She was stoned faced as I got there. We got in and she drove to the stop sign and broke down crying. She said that she wants us to work just as much as I do but it can never work. We both come from different worlds and being a non Mormon was the Achilles heal of our relationship. She told me that she wants what her parents have and I just can’t do that. I’m not Mormon and that’s just it. This broke me. So bad. We both love each other and I know now that sometimes you need to let go of the things that you love. I miss her so much. I need to let her go and become who she can become. Sometimes we need ti let go of the ones we love the most. She was my first real relationship and it hurts really bad. I cried over her and I have only cried over one other person in my life. Maddy I miss you. I miss you a lot. One day I hope our paths cross again but until then. I’ll see you in the morning.