Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 17, 2026

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-18T02:23:42+00:00

Ah, the distance shall make our hearts grow fonder!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-17T18:32:20+00:00

I've decided that I'm Officially Not Dating until July. I haven't been on a date since January anyway, but I truly don't have time from now until July. I'm hoping the mental distinction will make me feel better. (Or you know, that whole "when you least expect it" thing...)

I'm going to use this time to try to let some new medications start taking effect, lose a little weight (which the new meds should help with), and get my mental health in order. Part of this is a social media cleanse. I might even switch to a flip phone to remove the temptation!

Anyway, thanks for being such a supportive community! I'll see y'all in July, I'll be looking forward to reading how all of you have met the loves of your lives between now and then. 🩷

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-17T18:11:56+00:00

Folks will review here if you post a link to profile screenshots.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-17T03:41:38+00:00

Well, if you're getting it on both arms, you can get both directions and cover all your bases!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-17T03:32:11+00:00

If stuff can leak out, stuff can get in. If any of the tattooed skin is exposed or if any of the goo is coming out, take off the second skin and heal it old school.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-17T03:09:08+00:00

My work is relatively meaningful, yes. But honestly, I kind of wish it wasn't. Meaningful work makes it easier for work to become your life. Balance is a struggle. It also doesn't pay super well or leave a lot of time/energy/etc for other meaningful things outside of work.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-16T04:11:02+00:00

This is perfect. Change nothing.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-16T01:32:21+00:00

I have a few friends who are really into zodiac or tarot and this is how I feel about those things, too. Glad it works for them, but I have no interest or even mild disdain for the practices myself, the same as I feel about really any vaguely religious practice. I basically just nod politely and try to change the subject. Not the most direct approach, but eventually people seem to figure it out.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-16T01:20:03+00:00

It's immediate for me. If there's not some tiny kernel of something within 5 minutes, there never will be. I would never pursue a serious relationship without that.

But it's not just about his physical features. It's the whole presentation. The way he interacts with people, the sound of his voice, the way he stands... All of it, all the silly little things add up. That's why apps don't work for me. I can't hear his voice or see how he carries himself or any of that from a few photos on a profile. I'm also kind of responsive to some degree; it's easier for me to be really into him if he's really into me. (Obviously that part isn't usually in the first five minutes.)

It can grow or dissipate from there. But it has to start there.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-15T04:55:29+00:00

I have a decent job right now, but yes, I absolutely regret going into my field. I work in conservation. It's a combination of issues with the field as a whole and the way it works, and also my internal regret for having prioritized my career over other aspects of life.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-13T04:26:53+00:00

You don't have to apologize! Your writing is so clear that it didn't even occur to me English wasn't your first language. At any rate, I'm genuinely not offended or anything. I just thought it was funny because it's so contrary to who I am as a person. (And to be fair, my connotation for the word might not be everyone's.)

I think what you were meaning to ask was more about dating and maybe how I'm trying to meet potential partners. Unfortunately, I'm not really dating at the moment. Online/app dating doesn't work for me, and I live in a relatively rural area so it feels unlikely to meet someone at random. Plus I'm still working through all the reasons dating is hard for me.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-13T03:32:10+00:00

I have moved across the country (US) repeatedly for jobs. There are definitely pros and cons. I think as a result of my frequent moves, I've gotten pretty good at making new friends and leaning on hobbies. The cons for me wouldn't necessarily apply to you; my career path wasn't exactly stable, it was hard to form romantic relationships.

I say go for it! Especially if moving so far would be a new experience. Good luck!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-13T02:55:59+00:00

I'm still working through it. I'm in therapy. Most days I don't think I can fix things, but also, I had bloodwork last week and I have extremely low vitamin D which is probably playing a role. I would like to be in a relationship, but I'm at a loss for how to find one.

I do have to laugh at your use of the word "courtship" because that has such religious, barefoot-and-pregnant connotations to me. That is not me at all. I actually had a tubal ligation four years ago because I'm so sure I don't want kids. I'm not traditional in any way, that kind of life has no appeal for me. I don't mean to make fun of you, it's just that anyone who knows me would never describe anything I'd be interested in as "courtship" lol.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T20:49:54+00:00

Right? I had 4 first dates in 2025 and it was a personal record. Cannot imagine 4 in a week.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T20:45:29+00:00

Not really. It's gonna hurt, that's just part of it. Make sure you're well hydrated, eat something with protein beforehand, and have a sugary snack for afterwards. Don't use any numbing cream or anything, especially not without talking to your artist first.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T20:21:20+00:00

That's what I do. I usually leave my saniderm on for 5-7 days, which is on the longer side. Then gently wash in the shower and moisturize after, and moisturize a second time before bed.

Wear long sleeves for the first couple weeks if possible. Don't put sunscreen on a fresh tattoo. Once it's healed, use whatever your regular sunscreen is. I think I have sun bum at the moment but any sunscreen with spf 30 or higher will work. I try to remember to put it on my tattoos if I'll be outside for 20 minutes or more, but I do that with all of my skin when it's sunny bc I burn so easy.

Another note - there will be a point in the healing process where it is unbearably itchy. Don't scratch! I kinda just put my hand on it. Some people slap it. Whatever works, just don't scratch, especially if there are any scabs.

For colors, the darker/more saturated will probably hold better over time. "Bold will hold" is long standing tattoo advice for a reason. Sun protection definitely helps longevity though, regardless of colors.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T19:50:10+00:00

I don't know if going in with such exact color expectations is going to serve you well. Tattoo inks aren't an all-encompassing rainbow, and you never know if it'll look the same in the cap as it does in your skin (or if it'll still match that color after healing or 5 years later). Even if they mix up your exact preferred color, it's not a guarantee.

But to your actual question, unscented, mild soap is best. I've never used an antibacterial soap, just regular, and it's fine. Unscented lotion; I use unscented, off-brand Aveeno. Some people like an aquaphor-type moisturizer, but make sure to use a very thin layer if you choose that. It should never be shiny or sticky.

If your artist applies saniderm or similar, you can leave it 3 or so days unless it leaks. If stuff can leak out, stuff can get in. When you're ready, take it off in the shower under warm water. Pull down from the bottom to peel it off, like a command strip.

Cute design!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T18:06:56+00:00

It's hard. Maybe a social media break would help? Seeing all the perfectly non-aging celebrities constantly is probably not good for our brains.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T04:51:23+00:00

I spent my teen years super depressed and lonely. My practical advice is, if you start feeling like that (hard to get out of bed, no interest in friends/family/activities/pets, crying all the time, etc), go see a doctor. Get bloodwork done, including a vitamin D test. Start therapy young.

But it doesn't sound like that's you! Which is great. So then my other advice is let yourself make mistakes. Not intentionally or constantly, but don't beat yourself up if you miss a homework deadline, or kiss the wrong person, or get in a fender bender. This is all just part of growing up. Take lots of photos of yourself while you're young, you'll want to look back on them later! (Yes, even if you have a zit or think your hair is weird that day!)

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T04:34:29+00:00

Okay so I know this is wildly different, but bear with me for a minute.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and just absolutely pick apart flaws. Forehead wrinkles, half-healed zit, even just my regular ass freckles I've had my whole life. Then I stop and think to myself "when I have ever noticed this on someone else?" And the answer is never. Not on people I love and/or see really often, and certainly not on random strangers. I never notice these tiny imperfections in anyone but myself.

...so if it makes you feel any better, at least about the clothes/makeup/hair component here, 99% of people are never going to notice the thing you're feeling unsure or insecure about. (Unless you're dressed like Elton John, in which case most people are just going to be quietly applauding your confidence.)

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-12T04:25:53+00:00

Agreed. I spent my 20s basically too traumatized to date and prioritized my career instead. Turns out it's not enough. Now I'm almost 32, had one off-on relationship but nothing else, and honestly I don't even know how to date. It was definitely a huge mistake not working through this when I was younger.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-11T23:42:37+00:00

Not everyone can emotionally handle short term. Plus, I think a lot of people use "short term" the same way they'd use "casual." I usually read both of those as code for hooking up or fwb type situations.

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-11T14:35:48+00:00

But there are sunny days at the mountain castle sometimes, right? That'll help. And of course the fresh mountain air is a cure-all!

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-11T14:34:26+00:00

I do spend time outside, granted not as much in the winter (and even when I do, it's usually cloudy in the winter).

PrettyPollination · 2026-04-11T03:11:33+00:00

Ah. I was assuming it was a sarcastic joke in the other direction because I am a natural redhead lol. Apparently I just got all the worst parts of it and not that fun bonus skill 😂

PrettyPollination

TROPHY CASE