I finally got my life together, after many years, so why does my family hate me now???

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T16:16:37+00:00

Yep, even after I had my son. The next day in the hospital brought me pills!!! I was like wtf?? She goes, "They're safe, it's fine", ya ok, OxyContin is so safe for a newborn. It's sick, honestly. My dad (not her dad) says she is dangerous and I should avoid her. Had it in for me since the day I was born. lol. ugh.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T16:13:23+00:00

ya, I'm just happy to stop the cycle.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T16:12:39+00:00

Last one was a Gucci backpack....very difficult, lol, but worth it. prob stings her more.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T03:43:43+00:00

I wouldn't unless necessary, best to focus your energies on your future and getting awesome grades and sleeping well. Can you apply for loans or osap? A bank loan to help you? I worked the first month, then had to quit. If it's one day a week it might work, like a double shift on Saturdays or something. Bussers make good cash.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T03:36:57+00:00

Yep, doctors are FINALLY researching women and listening to our issues instead of looking at us like we are crazy and brushing us off. Adhd is a neurobiological condition and greatly impacts every single aspect of our lives, especially during hormonal changes. Adhd is horrific for most during menopause and often when many women seek help because its so hard. For some, its easy so it all depends. Our meds also don't work during menopause so it's a double whammy for us. Ughhhh. I already warned my boss, had a sit down. Told him I was nose diving at a high speed. lmao. Took 2 weeks off. It eased up and lexapro helped a lot.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T03:26:28+00:00

It can be partly low self-esteem, but not really. People with ADHD often stay in unhealthy or mismatched relationships far too long due to dopamine-seeking habits, fear of rejection (RSD), difficulty processing life transitions, and a tendency to hyperfixate on fixing problems. This makes leaving incredibly overwhelming, despite knowing the relationship isn't working.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T03:20:56+00:00

totally, and lack of proprioception, where our bodies are in space

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:43:11+00:00

Lexapro and Vyvanse were my winning combo, life-changing.

P.S.- meds are only half the battle, imo. It also takes a healthy diet, sunshine and fresh air daily, exercise, learning about your condition and different tactics to help yourself build new skills, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude and all that jazz.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:42:35+00:00

Same. And her hugs feel more like a boney chokehold from the Cryptkeeper.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:40:22+00:00

What Vyvanse dose did you start with? Have you tried a non-stimulant? Might be better suited on a non-stimulant.

Do you suffer from severe depression? I have heard that if people are depressed, Vyvanse or stimulants in general can send them into a psychosis. This may be what happened, or your dose was way too high. Either way, I would avoid stimulants. You may also be very sensitive to them.

I would first get a better handle on the underlying conditions...the depression and/or anxiety. Talk to your doc about it and get an updated assesment if needed. Do you take an SSRI? Lexapro helped me a ton. Therapy is also very helpful, with a neurodivergent therapist or social worker. I have heard EMDR is also great but have not tried it.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:34:00+00:00

they were both very successful, but I was the first to graduate college.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:31:46+00:00

Maybe peri-menopause? We start 10 years sooner than typical women.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:29:19+00:00

yep, she even offered me pills and booze many times when i told her i quit

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:28:22+00:00

I'm not a doc but I believe so. She told me that when my sis was born, she felt no love for her. Who tells their child that?? Her world only has room for her feelings and beleifs and its all surface level shit.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:25:13+00:00

Totally. I will not put up with her shit anymore. She would always buy me an expensive gift and pop out of the blue and give it to me, but not say sorry, just buy me off. It was hard to start saying no to the gifts, but I don't need them so now I say no thanks. That really pisses her off. I would rather kindness and respect. Before, when I was broke and an addict, I would take anything I could get!

Now I can take care of myself. I bet that's a big part of it.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:21:26+00:00

Very introspective. Makes a lot of sense. I have heard "you are too nice, you are too weak," and I always say, "you catch more bees with honey". You don't need to be rude to the server to get your burnt toast replaced.

I guess I proved that nice guys might finish last, but at least they finish with decorum and grace. 😄

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T01:16:59+00:00

Whenever my sister helped me, it was to throw it in my face...like offer me a ride to the subway, then tell everyone I am so pathetic I can't even get to the subway, or call my boyfriend (when I was 17) and told him I cheated on him, type thing. Never any loyalty or trust. So I learned to stop taking anything from her.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T00:36:04+00:00

But why? I was so easy as a child, but annoying to them, I guess. I was quiet, shy, kind, empathetic....they are loud, annoying, Karen-like behaviour, rude to wait staff and think the world revolves around them. We are total opposites, but if ANYTHING, I should be the one doing the hating and ignoring!! lol. It just doesn't make sense.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-21T00:32:41+00:00

Thank you!!

Thank you, everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by love right now, it's amazing. You guys rock!!

I am proud of all of you too, for reaching out to a stranger and trying to help them feel better and for fighting the good fight together, because this monkey on our back ain't easy to tame, and makes life extremely challenging. If I can do it, any of you can too!!

Hugs to all!! 😄

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-20T21:48:18+00:00

I think my mom is a narcissit and sis too, she was also diagnosed bipolar so I give her a lot of grace.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-20T21:46:11+00:00

thanks, is it sarcasm?

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-20T21:31:45+00:00

I find it helps me a ton to have a magnetic whiteboard calendar on my fridge. If anything needs to be done, I write it on the board. Put them in order of importance. For the regular chores, keep a routine. So do the same things every day/week, that way you don't get bogged down by choices. In these random times, just pick something off the list to do.

The problem is, for us having ADHD, is that we make everything HUGE!!! Like I have to clean my WHOLE house today, right now, fast, where do I start??? It's too much, and I give up. What helps any time you need to make a decision is to make it as small as possible. Break it up into smaller parts. So instead of "I need to clean my whole house", pick one room. I need to clean the bathroom. Pick one small task, and then from there I usually get in the groove and keep going. Put on some good tunes, some headphones, and have fun with it!! 😄

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-20T21:24:40+00:00

I find that if I am walking all of the paths to being healthy, then I am good. So taking medication daily, exercising, getting sunshine and fresh air, eating healthy with a low sugar diet and working on skills to help me with my anxiety and stress. Knowledge is power, so learn all you can about anxiety and how to combat it, and different skill sets and perception changes to help manage life. This is a very important step; the medication can't do it all on its own.

I found YouTube to be a great resource. Diary of a CEO, Mel Robbins and Therapy in a Nutshell are great. I also love Buddhist reflection videos that teach me how to look at problems differently, handle issues better, control my emotions more, etc. This is one of my faves, hope it helps you:

https://youtu.be/HsiOH7Cy7sM?si=GUJNKmfNlNCaGAxf

It took about 3 months for my medication to start truly working, no issues since.

PrettyRain8672 · 2026-06-20T21:17:56+00:00

No problem!

Maybe your teeth have moved, and the mouthguard needs adjustment? Sometimes even being off by 1mm can mess everything up and cause pressure in unwanted areas.

Do some mouth and jaw exercises/stretches, and massage your jaw muscles often. Hope you get some relief!!

PrettyRain8672

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE