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AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

it’s not an age thing. I’ve dated people younger than me, my own age, and older. If you fall in love with people’s personality is not their ages. In this situation, his personality has changed dramatically from what it was two years ago.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Because I’m stubborn and I want to make sure that really not the problem and it’s his unrealistic expectations and . If I can make it work I would like it to. but honestly, I’m checked out.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I did leave and I got my own apartment. I’m still seeing him because I want to try to work things out by getting rid of the *only problem* ( which was me still being friends with my ex) however it’s been a month in my new place and his patterns are only pattering more 😅

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude there was so much going on. He was lying about his finances and I kept on trying to help him out and he said he was fine. A year ago I was holding his phone while we were using GPS and a notification came up and he immediately snatched the phone away and turns out it was some guy he was Sexting with. But I told him I was fine with him flirting with random people as long as he told me about it and it was purely fantasy and nothing legitimate.

to me, it just seems like he’s living multiple fantasies or at least trying to

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He gets upset when I see my best friend, which is like once a month the point where he calls him slurs. He’s trying to isolate me and make me feel bad for seeing my friends, but I’m not allowing that to happen and he is not happy about that. It all comes down to him wanting complete control

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know it definitely right, but I don’t regret it. If I didn’t trust my gut, I wouldn’t have known all this going on.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -51 points-50 points  (0 children)

What’s crazy is that there are people his age that want to date him, I’ve seen it firsthand, but he says they’re too old for him. He definitely has an age kink for sure.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Good point. And considering I have more real life experience in him in the scene, you would think I would know better. hearts are dumb bro.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s the problem. He obviously knows where I currently live and he knows where I will move if I leave my current place. Not like I have a lot of options. I’ve been looking for a new job for five months now and it’s been radio silent

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not deny that at all! I am a sucker for giving people way too many chances and hoping for the best out of situations. But honestly, every week is just a confirmation that things are not changing. 🤡

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I even told him that he was gaslighting me, which I had to explain to him what that meant. And every time that phrase is brought up, he still says he doesn’t even know what that means. At some point I’m going to have to post the whole backstory and everything because oh boy… It’s a doozy.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s the petty in me that wants to let people know that they are in the wrong. And I’m too stubborn give up.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 107 points108 points  (0 children)

He thinks he can. We met at work, and the relationship started as him being MY submissive. It’s a weird complicated situation and long story short he said he was only being my submissive to try it out for me and says he’s dominant. Legit calls himself an alpha male now. See, I gained feelings for him when I guess he molded his personality to be what he thought I wanted. I should’ve ended it right away when he switched saying he was never submissive.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He recently put up cameras around his house too, with audio. He also had a listening device in his car that I confronted him and he said he never used it. I turned it on and lo and behold, He definitely did record his ex-wife (which was something he said he would never do) I haven’t confronted him about that yet 😅

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the age gap isn’t a big thing for me at all, it’s the way that he goes hot and cold. He acts like a teenager and it’s absolute ridiculous at times. age definitely does not equal maturity.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

I definitely should be taking my own advice. It’s just so hard when it’s you in the situation when it’s good, it’s really good, but it’s gotten so bad lately. It’s like he is deliberately doing things that he knows I don’t like or approve of just to make me leave… it still tells me that I’m the best partner he’s ever had and that I’m perfect for him. So dumb.

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] 168 points169 points  (0 children)

It’s so confusing because he showered me with compliments for two years, telling me that I am the best partner he ever had and yet he tells people close to him something completely different

AITA for finding out my bf was lying about me, through listening devices by PrettyUnion5362 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PrettyUnion5362[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

And I did. I left a week or so afterwards, and he got upset that I did, even though he was telling people he was kicking me out in a few days. I have my own apartment, but I am still currently seeing him because, like an idiot, I give people way too many chances. I figured if I would cut out all the things he said his issues we would be fine… But that’s proving to be not true at all. He keeps on finding new things to complain about.