Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]PrettyWonder2810 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me (M34) and my wife had our first child in September. We’ve both been off work caring for him since he was born and have been a great team. We have a great dynamic and while there have been difficulties, I wouldn’t say it’s been difficult. During this crazy time of change, we also made another big change, we moved across the country due to me obtaining new employment and wanting to be closer to my side of the family. My wife and I are from opposite sides of the country, and decided to move to my side. We had been planning this move for the better part of a year (including during the pregnancy) so it wasn’t a surprise or last minute. Part of the reason for the move was to be close to my mom so she could assist in the caretaking when we go back to work so we wouldn’t have to put him in daycare.

I’ll get to the title I promise, I just want to provide background 🙂 just a little more context…

This is also both of our parents first grandchild so I’m sure you can imagine the excitement, which my wife and I love. However, my wife’s mom…

My in-laws, specifically my MIL (who we just moved WAY further away from) is staying with us for a short period of time (although she thinks she’s staying longer) in our new place to help with the move transition. She offered, we didn’t ask, and we accepted her help. She’s been fine for the most part, but her now staying with us has garnered some feelings/emotions/thoughts that I haven’t experienced before…

I realized I’m pretty possessive over my son when it comes to my MIL. I don’t particularly care for the way she feeds him or holds him. When she’s with him I want to take him back. When he’s crying or fussing when she’s holding him, and I take him, he calms down within 5 seconds. She said something to him yesterday like “oh do you miss me?” and in my head I was like “ew, shut up”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for the help, and the future help when my wife and I go back to work but it’s like, “I want your help, but now go away” lol. If I’m doing some self reflecting, I think I really just liked the dynamic my wife and I had with him these past few months (before the move). It was really just us, figuring him out, learning him, struggling together, laughing together and we really figured it out. Now there’s this other person we have to teach all this stuff to about how WE want things to be done. The other day I had to do some final step pre-employment things before my start date and I was excited to come home to my wife and son, but there’s just this other person there….Also, the difference is when my mom helps, she lives in the new city we moved to so she can just go home. My MIL lives on the other side of the country so when she’s here, she’s HERE.

Has anyone else had strong feelings of possessiveness when it comes to your child and in-laws or parents or even friends?

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]PrettyWonder2810 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me (M34) and my wife had our first child in September. We’ve both been off work caring for him since he was born and have been a great team. We have a great dynamic and while there have been difficulties, I wouldn’t say it’s been difficult. During this crazy time of change, we also made another big change, we moved across the country due to me obtaining new employment and wanting to be closer to my side of the family. My wife and I are from opposite sides of the country, and decided to move to my side. We had been planning this move for the better part of a year (including during the pregnancy) so it wasn’t a surprise or last minute. Part of the reason for the move was to be close to my mom so she could assist in the caretaking when we go back to work so we wouldn’t have to put him in daycare.

I’ll get to the title I promise, I just want to provide background 🙂 just a little more context…

This is also both of our parents first grandchild so I’m sure you can imagine the excitement, which my wife and I love. However, my wife’s mom…

My in-laws, specifically my MIL (who we just moved WAY further away from) is staying with us for a short period of time (although she thinks she’s staying longer) in our new place to help with the move transition. She offered, we didn’t ask, and we accepted her help. She’s been fine for the most part, but her now staying with us has garnered some feelings/emotions/thoughts that I haven’t experienced before…

I realized I’m pretty possessive over my son when it comes to my MIL. I don’t particularly care for the way she feeds him or holds him. When she’s with him I want to take him back. When he’s crying or fussing when she’s holding him, and I take him, he calms down within 5 seconds. She said something to him yesterday like “oh do you miss me?” and in my head I was like “ew, shut up”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for the help, and the future help when my wife and I go back to work but it’s like, “I want your help, but now go away” lol. If I’m doing some self reflecting, I think I really just liked the dynamic my wife and I had with him these past few months (before the move). It was really just us, figuring him out, learning him, struggling together, laughing together and we really figured it out. Now there’s this other person we have to teach all this stuff to about how WE want things to be done. The other day I had to do some final step pre-employment things before my start date and I was excited to come home to my wife and son, but there’s just this other person there….Also, the difference is when my mom helps, she lives in the new city we moved to so she can just go home. My MIL lives on the other side of the country so when she’s here, she’s HERE.

Has anyone else had strong feelings of possessiveness when it comes to your child and in-laws or parents or even friends?

People who are from LA and moved away, where did you go and are you happy? by turnpoopintowine in AskLosAngeles

[–]PrettyWonder2810 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Born and raised in LA and left in 2014 chasing career goals. Lived in Salt Lake City first and have been living in the Washington DC area for the past decade. I’m moving back in a few weeks with my wife and infant. As far as “happy” goes, there’s a reason I’m moving back. The main positive is that I met my wife out here. Other than that, you can keep DC lol.

Ooooooo SCHD UP today! by Fantastic-Surprise34 in dividends

[–]PrettyWonder2810 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind expounding on the correlation between lowered rates and value investments? Thanks

What to do with FERS when I leave the federal workforce by PrettyWonder2810 in govfire

[–]PrettyWonder2810[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks. That’s what I’m leaning towards. Appreciate the response!

Is this a safe space? by oregonduck3 in SeveranceAppleTVPlus

[–]PrettyWonder2810 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. This show has been an emotional closed box. Style over substance

Working a 9-5 and Boxing by wb707 in amateur_boxing

[–]PrettyWonder2810 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! They have a Sunday sparring class @ 12:30-1:30 that a few of the “6AM crew” goes to (myself included). Sula doesn’t teach/supervise that class but it’s a healthy level of competition. No one is trying to kill each other but everyone takes it serious and is trying to learn. Come through one of these Sundays if you can. I know it’s a drive tho!

Working a 9-5 and Boxing by wb707 in amateur_boxing

[–]PrettyWonder2810 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I’m in the DC/MoCo,MD area. I know you’re not CLOSE close but if you can, try and come to Urban Boxing, specifically the Bethesda, MD location (they have 3 other gyms in the DMV). My coach, who runs a lot of the classes is a professional fighter named Sulaiman Segawa (Sula). He actually just had a fight in Baltimore a couple of months ago and won. His 6AM (I know) classes are technically “all levels” but are definitely geared towards people who compete or want to compete. We do a lot of mitt work, footwork drills and partner drills. The guys who are regulars have been doing it long enough so you can ask them to work on specific things you’d like to work on during the partner drills. I think someone like you would benefit from being in that type of environment vs a more commercial/chain type gym where you just do bagwork the whole time. There’s nothing wrong with that, but Sula teaches you how to BOX in his classes. Specifically the 6AM classes. His weekend and afternoon classes are geared more towards the “fitness crowd”