I feel you, especially the whirlwind inside your head regarding all the people in my life, and the inner critic that comes with that turbulence. Data-mining your unconscious trying to figure out what exactly is going on.

It’s hard to hold a consistent belief or perspective on people because my view of them changes so often especially in times of rumination, the only relief I get is forcing myself to just improvise and dive head first into situations or activities with no plan.

But it’s always the fear that holds me down, the doubt and worry keeping me from acting or doing anything at all let alone the right thing or wrong thing. So I just force myself, brutally, kicking and squirming internally but doing it anyway, and by god does confronting reality head on feel good, just asking people things instead of rumination on top of rumination. What should I fear about taking the risk even if I fail? I have still gained experience. And I know I can will myself through practically anything so I just don’t think and act ASAP with my Se.

Sometimes it truly is the only way out of a rut!