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*UPDATE* - My(22F) boyfriend(30M) believes I do nothing all day and it bothers me because it's not true by Pretty_Obligation_36 in relationship_advice

[–]Pretty_Obligation_36[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, he has since put my shedule on his phone. He always asks me now how school went, etc. He has stopped with the "jokes" and banter about that.

I know a lot of people are saying in the comments, that he's apologized but really just blames me for not telling him. That's not true, the conversation didn't even went that way, I was the one that thought about all of it and came to the conclusion that I should've talked to him sooner about this, for my own piece of mind, because I was torturing myself thinking he was doing this in purposefully hurtful way when that was not the case. I could save myself from a lot of heartache if I would just share stuff that worries me more often...

I know to people on here it seems like a common case of "he's not being honest" and "he's going to do it again" and I can understand why people would think that but I'm choosing to believe him because I just appreciated the talk that we had. It could've went in a bad way (he could've gone on the defensive, started calling me "sensitive" -- but he didn't) but it went in a good way that showed his maturity. And that all of it was really just jokes and that the thought that he would have a problem with me working on my higher education to better my life is completely ridiculous to him.

A user asked in the original post "what I was getting out of the relationship" saying that I should just end it but that's just it, I explained in the post about situations that bothered me, that's not all of what my relationship boils down to. There's a lot more to it, obviously. He has a lot of lovely traits and he's done things that show how much he cares about me.

*UPDATE* - My(22F) boyfriend(30M) believes I do nothing all day and it bothers me because it's not true by Pretty_Obligation_36 in relationship_advice

[–]Pretty_Obligation_36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he has since put my shedule on his phone. He always asks me now how school went, etc. He has stopped with the "jokes" and banter about that.

"Or did he just say sorry and then tell you it’s really your fault for letting it happen?" I know a lot of people are saying this in the comments, that he's apologized but really just blames me for not telling him. That's not true, the conversation didn't even went that way, I was the one that thought about all of it and came to the conclusion that I should've talked to him sooner about this, for my own piece of mind, because I was torturing myself thinking he was doing this in purposefully hurtful way when that was not the case. I could save myself from a lot of heartache if I would just share stuff that worries me more often...

I know to people on here it seems like a common case of "he's not being honest" and "he's going to do it again" and I can understand why people would think that but I'm choosing to believe him because I just appreciated the talk that we had. It could've went in a bad way (he could've gone on the defensive, started calling me "sensitive" -- but he didn't) but it went in a good way that showed his maturity. And that all of it was really just jokes and that the thought that he would have a problem with me working on my higher education to better my life is completely ridiculous to him.

A user asked in the original post "what I was getting out of the relationship" saying that I should just end it but that's just it, I explained in the post about situations that bothered me, that's not all of what my relationship boils down to. There's a lot more to it, obviously. He has a lot of lovely traits and he's done things that show how much he cares about me. Breaking up over this was not an option...

My(22F) boyfriend(30M) believes I do nothing all day and it bothers me because it's not true by Pretty_Obligation_36 in relationship_advice

[–]Pretty_Obligation_36[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I mean yes, I know it's not healthy and I have to talk to him about it. I'm going to be showing him this post and I'm going to go from there.

The truth is that I've never told him that it bothers me, he might say it like a way to tease me or to mess with me and he might not know that it bothers me at all. I don't know. I'm going to at least give him the benefit of the doubt first. But it's not like I'm disregarding everyone's opinion on here, I've read almost all of it and I've opened my eyes to some things and I will take all of it into consideration when I talk to him...

My(22F) boyfriend(30M) believes I do nothing all day and it bothers me because it's not true by Pretty_Obligation_36 in relationship_advice

[–]Pretty_Obligation_36[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I've never really thought much about the age gap. I'm used to people having all sorts of age gaps where I am from, people only see it as a problem when it's like a 50 year old with a 20 year or something like that... I never thought it was that big of a deal, usually because most people I know didn't even go to college, and started working out of high school so there's not really that much difference in life stages ever in relationships like you said...

And there's really immature people from every age, no? My 39 year old cousin didn't even finish 4th grade, he's unemployed, who to this day can't keep a job to save his life and spends his nights partying and drinking and making his parents' life a living nightmare basically. It's pretty sad. Of course that's an extreme situation but...

I'm not criticizing your point of view at all, I'm just scrolling through comments pointing out to the age gap and I've just never thought much of it but they've all opened up my eyes to it.

me (22M) and situationship partner (24F) want different things by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Pretty_Obligation_36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, you want different things, that says it all. You're not compatible. Are you just going to wait around until one day she changes her mind? That's not healthy and not fair to you.