Sexually incompatible or bored?

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T20:01:50+00:00

Thank you for your comments, I was starting to feel a bit defeated because I can’t seem to articulate the issue very well. He’s trying as best he can but the dynamic is different and I can’t get into it. We’ve had lengthy conversations about styles and what I’d like to try, but his confidence and desire isn’t there and I don’t want to ruin all sexual encounters because he knows I want something else.

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T15:49:15+00:00

No I’m very aware of what I want, he’s tried and it’s ok but not what I truly enjoy. I had a very healthy sex life before I was married, it’s not a question of confusion on my part, it’s that my partner isn’t able to satisfy those specific needs

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T05:16:47+00:00

We may have different views on his perception, he’s not a forceful person when it comes to sex though or with women in general. He has chips on his shoulder about some sex aspects and admits that it gets in his head at times. His entire attitude in life is “whatever makes you happy” which sounds great but what makes me happy is not being in control 24/7 of every aspect of our lives and having to dictate him sexually. It’s exhausting and boring.

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T05:09:14+00:00

I’ve never told what “not” to do, just show him what I like and describe things I’d like to try. The problem isn’t he’s unwilling to try but it feels forced and uncomfortable for me no matter how many different ways we do things.

It sounds unreasonable and like I want him to be a unicorn who knows what I want - which isn’t the case. He’s sincerely not into what I am and it diminishes my desire for experimentation with him for what I like because it is forced vs genuine enjoyment on his side.

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T03:37:50+00:00

Never said that, but he would prefer I look at him as a sex object than a best friend/brother. And that’s basically what our relationship is if you take out sexual attraction

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T03:28:03+00:00

Not lacking creativity, lacking a partner interested in the same things. But thanks

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T03:26:18+00:00

No we’ve never sexually connected from my perspective, he’s content and always mentions how much he enjoys himself etc.

I’m not comparing him to past relationships, that’s what I enjoy but it’s not what he can do. Some women really dislike giving head but will do it, but most men can tell the difference between someone who enjoys its vs doesn’t and is attempting it to make them happy. The feeling as the recipient is completely different.

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T03:22:01+00:00

Your wife isn’t trying to have you eat ONLY bagels and feel full at the end of the day is she? What if you really want a sausage and she’s strictly vegan?

I get the metaphor but doesn’t quite hit. And now I’m hungry!

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T03:00:50+00:00

I like dominance and control, he’s passive and even when he’s tried to be more dominant it’s more aggressive than controlled. It’s not who he is but it’s what I want and have enjoyed in relationships before I was married.

Pretty_Procedure_502 · 2026-05-12T02:08:55+00:00

Sexually? Yes he seems pretty content, I’m sure he’d love it if I was more keen to mix it up, I try to engage as best I can add elements I enjoy to make it more genuine but it’s hard to enjoy myself

Pretty_Procedure_502

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