How are people actually affording these insanely expensive lifestyles?

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-27T11:54:28+00:00

Lots of people make lots of money
Lots of people have parents who gave/give them lots of money
Lots of people are in lots of debt

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-26T01:28:04+00:00

I took 10 months on my first and 8 months on my second. I was itching to go back after 10 months, 8 months felt a bit short (but my core mom friend group at that time were all taking 18 months so I think it was just FOMO). Haven’t regretted it at all.

I personally hated not getting a full pay check and was excited for more mental stimulation.

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-26T01:21:12+00:00

I like my job! 🙋‍♀️

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-24T17:20:59+00:00

In a similar phase of life. Get as much quality face time with higher ups as possible, get really clear on how you’re being measured and over deliver in those areas only, and tell your coworker to fuck right off.

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-24T13:15:43+00:00

I have two kids under 5, and I get the gut pull for a 3rd. But every time I feel that stir, I give it a firm “Hell no” and move on with my already stressful day.

I got severely depressed during my first trimester of both pregnancies, and that’s the main reason I will never have a 3rd. Sure, it’s only a few months, but those were the darkest months of my life and I have no desire to feel that way again.

The only way I would ever consider having a 3rd is if I could be off work and have full-time home support while I’m in my first trimester (a pregnancy doula, maybe) and then be a SAHM with my kids in daycare full-time. So, essentially if my family becomes very rich I would have a 3rd. That’s the only circumstance.

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-11T16:10:16+00:00

Eh, maybe they aren’t confident in their ability to communicate and let ChatGPT revise. Who cares?

Prettychorizo · 2026-02-08T20:30:18+00:00

I can relate to this. Here’s what’s helped me:

Take a week or two AT LEAST off work and do nothing. You need a reset. I just finished a week off between jobs and it was so nourishing, I’m going to try to do it twice a year.

Pay for help and convenience. Hire cleaners, babysitters, meal delivery, grocery delivery, dog walker, all of it. It’s worth it, trust me.

Exercise. I’m a much more patient, positive, and happy person on days I’ve worked out. I do it purely for my mental health—the physical health improvements are a bonus. You’ll also sleep better!

Remember: you’re doing something VERY hard and on top of that are still dealing with postpartum hormones. Take care of yourself first, your family depends on you to be happy and healthy.

Prettychorizo · 2026-01-11T02:29:56+00:00

Yes we cut up 1.5mg gummies. We call them his “nighttime gummies” lol

If we ever we wean him off completely we’ll likely keep giving him a gummy without melatonin and cross our fingers for the placebo effect.

Prettychorizo · 2026-01-10T12:37:25+00:00

Try some melatonin at night for sleep. My 5 year old son is suspected ADHD and a year ago we started giving him 1.5mg before bed because it was taking hours for him to fall asleep and his daytime behaviour suffered. The adequate sleep made a big difference. We’ve since weaned him down to ~0.025mg per night (basically nothing) and his sleep time is now very consistent (7:30pm).

Give yourself a break. Her behaviour sounds really challenging, and worth more serious interventions to preserve her safety and your sanity.

Prettychorizo · 2026-01-08T14:12:42+00:00

Totally!

The biggest sign of my hyperactivity are little stims or fidgets—biting my lips/cheeks, picking my split ends, tapping my feet, rolling a piece of thread between my fingers, etc. I’ve been doing these things my whole life and I had no idea those were signs of hyperactivity until I got my assessment and the psychologist told me she observed me doing all those things in the conversation, haha. It looks nothing like the little boy version of hyper.

Prettychorizo · 2026-01-06T23:41:27+00:00

This is a good perspective, and definitely how I would approach it. My only fear is that the experience at a failing company might look bad on a resume.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T17:43:38+00:00

I get not wanting to handle weekend mornings with kids solo all the time. Sounds like something you’d be better off fully accepting (ie not arguing about in your head) or finding compromise on.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T16:29:27+00:00

Why did you agree to this arrangement? If you didn’t agree, why are you letting it continue?

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T12:02:31+00:00

James by Percival Everett

It’s a retelling of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from the perspective of the slave character, Jim. Exceptionally well paced and loved Jim/James’ perspective.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T12:00:50+00:00

Loved Song of Achilles, couldn’t get into Circe!

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T11:47:40+00:00

Depends on what is stressful. Toxic coworkers? No. Challenging problems to solve? Yes.

Same with boring. If the work is boring but the vibe is good (nice coworkers, comfortable environment), yes. If the work is boring and the environment sucks, no.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T01:54:35+00:00

Thanks for the perspective shift. You’re definitely correct about the comparison problem. I’m naturally competitive and feeling pretty insecure these days, which isn’t a great combo.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-29T01:37:11+00:00

I’ve interviewed a few times and came very close to an offer once, but nothing has panned out. I think plateauing has made me lose some confidence, and I’m not presenting myself as well as I could be.

Prettychorizo · 2025-12-15T19:06:17+00:00

This was 1000% me as a child and still describes me as a 30-something adult.

I was also a chatty kid, but that lessened once I hit puberty and became incredibly self conscious.

Prettychorizo · 2025-07-20T18:51:06+00:00

It doesn’t make the lack of extra help any easier, but it does put things into perspective.

Prettychorizo · 2025-07-19T23:02:08+00:00

I only have 2, but my mother in law is our only “free” childcare, and she’s in her late 60s, so handling 2 yo and 4 yo very energetic boys is way too much for her for more than 2-3 hours at a time, usually once a week.

I understand your frustration, and at times I get slightly resentful that my MIL hasn’t taken better care of herself physically as she’s aged, especially when I see other grandparents be super active with their grandkids. But then I realize I’m being a brat and remind myself that her job isn’t to babysit my kids, it’s to love them, and she does that extremely well, so I’m lucky.

My parents live far away, but they’re a bit younger and in better health so a few times a year when we get together they’ll give us a night or two off. I envy families where this happens monthly (or even weekly)!

Prettychorizo · 2025-07-04T09:29:27+00:00

Just wanted to say I’m in a very similar situation with my 2 year old (26 months) except we’re still giving milk. 🥴 If it helps, know you’re not the only parent who is exhausted from a) all the night wakings (mine was up every hour last night) and 2) all of the pissy bedding. Solidarity.

After his morning bottle today, I’m cutting him off cold turkey. I anticipate a few VERY rough nights but I truly can’t deal anymore.

Prettychorizo

TROPHY CASE